to feel cheated and lied to?

[mhmhhhhho]

"They" told me that if I grew up, worked hard, became a loyal employee, did the right things, stayed the right side of the law, treated people well... I'd reap the rewards of it all in life.

So I went to uni, did my years there, got into the minimum amount of debt I could manage whilst working part-time in crappy night-time NMW jobs, got myself a job in a sector which means I'm just paying only a tiny bit of the student debt off each month (because I don't earn enough).

DH and I have no hope of getting the deposit together for our own flat (don't even think of a house). We rent, and despite both of us working fulltime (him on NMW) there's barely enough to make ends meet at the end of every month after bills, tax, commuting costs.

Don't even think about having DCs - I joined thinking it might be a nice idea in the future, but childcare would wipe out my salary, leaving us to rely on DH's NMW and tax credits (which are being targetted for reduction by the government).

Am I the only person in their early thirties that feels utterly fucked off with their current situation, that they've done all the "right" things in life, but basically can't ever see the light at the end of the tunnel where things become comfortable? That's all I'm really asking for really - not rich, just comfortable, where we could think about being able to afford our own home, maybe 1 or 2 DCs, and perhaps have an occasional treat.

Am I the only one of my generation that feels cheated by society, that says if you are a good person and do the right things, you'll get rewarded for it? nonsense! life seems to get harder!

Theoretical question really - I'm not about to jack in my job or anything - but I was mulling over the idea my mother told me when I was younger, about how if you work hard, you'll be comfortable (in a way we never were - parent illness meaning couldn't work - not a benefit bashing thread).

changing that makes sense

Changing, if it's not your location stopping you from getting a house, then what is?

I am also baffled as to how two people who are working could genuinely be struggling if they don't live in central London. My DH earns less than 30k a year, I don't work, we have a mortgage on a nice big three bed terrace with a lovely big garden, and we're not struggling at all. We don't have nice clothes or any holidays but we don't care about that.

My grandparents' generation barely had enough food to eat. I am incredibly lucky.

We both work full time and earn less than your DH cailin dana. Out rent, council tax, energy bills and other bills leave us with 150 a week for food and general living expenses. So yeah, we are well flush!

And when I return to work, 50% of my wages will go on childcare,happy days! Not that our jobs are especially shite, not that we don't work hard and enjoy our jobs, just the cost of living and wages not rising in relation to it. We haven't had a holiday for 5 years and are certainly not shopping for clothes very often. Christmas and birthdays we have some new clobber.

'sense of entitlement from a generation of people who all went to uni as they were told to do and then add into the mix a lack of jobs they feel they're worthy of being employed in....'

Actually I would do anything just to get a full time job and by that I mean work at almost anything. I don't think I have a sense of entitlement, I want a job but I am well aware of my lack of employability. 99% of my frustration is aimed against myself for being an unemployable little shit and as such I find accusations of 'having a sense of entitlement' really offensive. Oh and BTW I for one am not mobile so even if I could actually find a job I wouldn't be allowed to move.

Job hunting in the current climate is soul destroying, you send of 100s of applications only to get very few replies never mind interviews.

changing i explained why i adressed you in my post.

you said that all the people who were preaching seemed to be homeowners on decent wages etc. i was just pointing out to you that this wasn't the case.

Changing surely you should be benefitting from the drip-down at some point though? I'm not for one minute suggesting as grown adults we should rely on parental handouts, but its a FACT that it is our parents generation that have benefitted while we indirectly paay the price for their inflated property gains.

If I were about to make such whopping financial gains on property and my DD and GDCs were in the unstable circumstances you describe, I'd be working out a way to ensure they benefit from my good fortune.

I'm sorry you feel that way. My argument comes from being sat listening to new graduates bemoaning their lot being stuck in a photocopying job day in day out whilst the likes of me and my team (none of whom are graduates) are in a profession and on a salary they feel they should be earning.

This all started when they started the consultation process for redundancies and pay scales became published...there was a LOT of resentment that non-graduates were in decent paid jobs. Never mind we all worked our arses off upon leaving school and all have professional qualifications...

Is there some reason you guys can't move Changing?

As a landlady I would love a move towards the Belgian situation described, so much mire security all round.

Crucially though I think this market needs flexibility. I.e.: look for new jobs elsewhere and move to afford the life you want, if you can't afford it where you are. There is no way in hell we could afford to live in the town I grew up in, the market is bonkers there even now. Where we live now is crazy expensive too, despite both having been higher rate tax payers in our time (I don't work now) we are still struggling to buy a 'family' home. That is just life, and yes it is hard. But unless you are genuinely restricted location wise you have a choice. We would struggle to relocate as DH works in a very, very specialised field but we look up to half an hour away for properties, any more than that and fuel counteracts any saving.

To me "sense of entitlement" = Bruce forsyth after a knighthood. Not a working family who just want what their parents had, and a lot of their peers as well. For the record, I worked and studied harder than either or my parents and am further up the career ladder now at 27 than wither of them ever got. We just CANNOT save in this climate, not without going without essentials or taking one hundred years to accumulate the capital required. It's nobody's fault really, just the way things are.

I hold my belief that one day, we will achieve our goals and the fact we had to work so hard to get there will make it all worthwhile. I'm not giving up.

Will your Mum help you out when she sells the house?

Cailin, I don't think we would be able to afford a deposit on a home anywhere. We don't live in an expensive area.

Vivi... The "drip down". well, my mum died and didn't leave a will, her husband has told us not to expect any help from him. Fair do's I don't expect his to liquids his assets to help his former wife's children at the age of 45. Who am I to ask that of him?

Dhs mum and dad live in the same house they always have, the only house they have ever owned, and intend to stay there for the rest of their lives. They are only 52 and not rich.

We will find a way one day! :)

Sorry, to add detail, my mum and dad divorced, she got to keep the house when they split, my stepdad never owned it until she died and he got possession of it has her spouse.

Where do you live?

Sorry I misread your post and X-posted. AIBU fail of the highest order.

I reiterate, I don't think as grown adults we should expect financial support from parents but given these circumstances (baby boomers getting lucky with house price inflation vs. 30 somethings facing adversity due to house price inflation), and their direct relevance to your situation you'd be forgiven for feeling a little shortchanged.

West midlands.

mrscustard I would gladly take a job photocopying etc on the basis it was a job. Providing of course I could get to it and it wasn't a few hundred miles away obviously. I just want to work. I know I shall never have a career again and the entire 20s were wasted as it has given me a job history that makes getting such a job harder.

That sucks minus anI hope you find something soon (and you don't sound like you'd be as ungrateful as the whinging brats I work with ;))

Dont give up minus, my brother has just got a job after he has spent most of his twenties either in prison or on a substance dependancy programme (making it difficult for him to keep regular hours). He works nights now and is loving it! Just proves, nobody is a write off.

Not saying you had a decade like my brother obviously!

Can I ask a genuine question to those that rent and think they will never be able to buy a house?

What happens when you retire? People that are lucky enough to buy will normally have the mortgage set so that it is paid off when they retire - so reducing their costs when they have to live on a pension. When you rent, this cost will be ongoing for all of your retirement. Do you need make sure you pay as much as you can into your pension?

Something I've wondered about as I do think we are going to see less and less homeowners in the coming years.

yabu

so you got yourself a degree but you didn't think about what sort of pay you'd get?

why didn't you do a degree that would get you a decent wage?

didn't you do the sums?

I don't know to be honest nbee. Worrying thought!

My father pointed out that when they bought the loan to value, and salary multiplea were all the same as today. They were stony broke when they bought, couldn't furnish rooms etc etc so I don't think it was necessarily that easy for them, and he was very well paid. I did point out by return that they also saw historic price rises, and that even at those multiples there'd be no way in hell we could afford a similar size house.

I don't know either. It gives me sleepness nights. Dd will be Uni age when dh retires and as he got a career relatively late in life his pension won't be all that either. Fortunately Uni is cheap in Belgium and most dcs stay at home. I have a 20 year plan in my head. DH is a great one for burying his head and won't like it/doesn't want to discuss in detail.