To think that you shouldn't be pissed off to work Xmas day just because you have children?

[kitya]

When your kids are 15 and over and you are in a job where unsociable hours are enough. I'm fuming that someone complained today that she was the only one with kids that was working Xmas. As if us singles don't have families we would love to be with. I'm so annoyed, she's a friend as well.

I worked in an industry that involved Christmas and NY working for years before kids. We always gave priority to those with children to be off. I prefferred having NY off. Dh is a chef and has done his turn of working many Christmas days and it is not nice I agree, but a neccissity sometimes.

Think of those with loved ones in the forces......my friends dh is off to Afghan end of this month for 6 months. She has a 2 year old ds and her parents will be on a cruise.

Ah well, if it's grown up children, that's different again. And we're back to Not Magical and no different from christmas with old auntie aggie getting pissed on the sherry again

But it's still ok for her to moan.

Is she going to management to demand the rota is changed?

If she did THAT - she would be out of order.

But you just say she's moaning.

erm - you're moaning too

I am moaning, I agree. I have a feeling that she will get it changed and, maybe she shouldve been firmer with her request to have it off in the first place. Whoever did the rota as only taken into account her wanting the day off and not the night so, that person thought that doing the night would be ok as she would have the day off with her family. It wasnt me who did it btw but, I have in the past and its a real buggar trying to accommodate everyone.

I do kind of agree, in that if someone is employeed in a job, and bound by contract that there is a possibility of working a shift on Xmas Day, that you have to face the possibility of working on Xmas Day. Whether you have kids or not...

If you want to guarantee not working Xmas Day, then you put in annual leave. But you can't huff about working it just because you have kids. Even single/ childless people like to enjoy Xmas Day without working.

Having kids doesn't give you the right to get Xmas Day off.

I am a sahm and one of the reasons for this is because I don't want to have to juggle child care arrangements and work Christmas and deal with all the other stresses that wohp face everyday. In making that choice, I have less money.

If you choose to do a job that involves working on Christmas day, then you have made a choice, taken the money and just have to suck it up. I have no sympathy with doctors who don't wish to work Christmas. As a poster upthread said, no one dragged them to medical school. Doctors are very well paid - I have more sympathy with hospital cleaners and people whose jobs are essential but not well rewarded financially.

I would be gutted to not be here on Christmas morning, but I'm sure that other people are equally gutted about not being with their partners etc. I'm not sure that parents can expect the whole world to revolve around their plans. If you work for the essential services, you just have to accept working at Christmas as an unfortunate necessity.

Hmm, don't see why the rota should be changed, to be honest. We were given a rota for who worked when, and it was up to us to find someone to swap with if we got something that we couldn't/didn't want to do. If no one agreed to swap, then you were stuck with it. Absolutely no way would the rota be re-done!

Well in our family SIL and BIL both work all Christmases (Vicars) and so does my 13 year old DD (only a couple of hours). So Christmas is never a time for a big family get together. So YANBU, she is, and this is the prefect place to moan, especially if she gets it changed.

Christmas is for children - so good to get Christmas Day off especially if your kids believe in Santa. Nice to have it off for teenage children too - but probably not such a priority.

I'm sure there was a thread last year, either started by or about someone who wouldn't see anyone outside of work over Christmas because the parents had bagged all the leave (they lived away from family and wouldn't be able to travel - public transport not running etc). That was shit.

A bit of give and take is in order.

I'd be pissed off (have worked Christmas before and it was fab - but pre-child) but much would also depend on the hours. 7 til 3 wouldn't be disastrous, for example. I could bugger off after the first dawn-present-ripping-open-orgy and be back in time for the dinner that everyone would lovingly prepare in my absence.

I think if you have very small children or teenagers it's easier to have Christmas on 26th, but for school age children it is nice to be able to have Christmas Day off. I've worked loads of Christmas Days, both before and after having my children, and it is different, the parents don't just want the day off for themselves, it's for the children, and you can't really argue with that, as long as there is fairness.

YANBU Kitya - where we work we have a rota system and you can express a preference but won't necessarily get it, though most years we manage. I have always requested to work all over NY and have christmas/boxing day off even pre child and most years have got it. However I strongly believe that the needs of those without kids are as important as those with.If it came around that I had to work christmas day then I would do it - though I must say I would probaly moan but I would do it! Ypu have to accept this as part of the job.

Totally agree with you OP - this used to hack me off so much in my old job. People with kids thought they had priority - but that meant that I couldn't spend Christmas with my parents, so what's the difference?

If you have kids, and it means that much to you, either get a different job or book it as holiday. No-one's forcing you into it!

I work in NHS and the appearance if the Xmas rota produces much wailing and gnashing of teeth.

I'm fortunate in that I got Xmas eve and Xmas day off. I am worki g practically every day then up to jan3.

My view is that I signed up for this. I have three children 7,4,2 and had to cancel spending g Christmas with my mum. She cried.

But my boss is a carer for her mother who has Alzheimer's a colleague is newly married and wanted to spend new year with his husband. It wasn't to be. Everyone has special people/ moments they want to have but sometimes you have to just suck it up.

I fully expect to be working all over Easter too. And next Xmas day.

Depends on your arrangements for booking leave. If there's some priority for those who get in first /express a strong preference and some flexibility, it should work out ok, across the year. Maybe you don't mind working some bank hols / taking your main hol outside school summer hols. If some people are always given preference, for any reason, it's unfair.

I've been unable to include all of a group of friends in Easter holidays for years because some are teachers, while one is a GP who is never allowed leave over Easter, as senior partners always take priority (and never seem to make their minds up til the last minute). They probably have children but there are two possible weeks so her wishes could be factored in and I think status is the reason they are not.

We are not allowed annual leave over christmas

normantebbit my dp isnt allowed to book any leave at all for the whole of december! it sucks but its a job and the rule is the same for all staff so fair enough. its a pita that two of our kids have bdays in december as well tho, so in all likelyhood dp will end up working both their bdays, one the 5th dec and the other the 23rd dec.

*both birthdays and xmas day i meant to say.

I think the unfairness pisses people off. There are some people who have never worked Xmas day nor New Year and others who seem to get at least one of those every year.

Most people with kids are willing to work all over New Year ( I was) in the hope the youngsters will want to be out carousing. Some are happy to work Christmas as their partner also works for the NHS.

YADNBU. It's part of their contract, and they should work equally sh*tty shifts as the non-parents.

I'm married but no kids (yet) and DH regularly works xmas. Ruins it for me, too, as I have to spend it on my own (family lives abroad). Why should our christmas be less important just because we don't have kids?

"Christmas is for children"

I don't agree with this. I am an aethist, but Christmas is actually a Christian festival. I have friends for whom going to Xmas mass and Christmas morning church is incredibly important and can't be put off until another time - unlike present opening.

Christmas means different things to different people. To some people its not that important, which is fine and really just another hoiliday. But to some people and not just parents with young children, Christmas is incredibly important.

I hate the assumption that because you think Christmas is really for kids, that that is how everyone feels. Its not.

And when my FIL nearly died last year he was desperate to have all the family there for what we all thought would be his last xmas. Neither I or my DP need to work on xmas day, but it would have been very upsetting if my DP hadn't been able to go - we live 7 hours drive from him so couldn't pop round after working xmas day.

Of course she is allowed to be pissed off. It sounds like you are as well.

YABU to expect that people not be pissed off to work christmas day. Its the pits
YANBU to expect that if people start a job that involves 24 hour rotation 7 days a week that they suck up the fact that they may have to work christmas on occasion irrespective of home circumstances.
Why should childless colleagues be penalised?

'Christmas day is for children'

What rubbish!!!

Before I had children I would have been almighty pissed off to be told it was a managerial decision that I had to work Christmas for that reason. I had a family too, I was someone's child and why should I have been less important?