To think that you shouldn't be pissed off to work Xmas day just because you have children?

[kitya]

When your kids are 15 and over and you are in a job where unsociable hours are enough. I'm fuming that someone complained today that she was the only one with kids that was working Xmas. As if us singles don't have families we would love to be with. I'm so annoyed, she's a friend as well.

Am at the doctor who said at interview that she would resign rather than work Xmas day. I'm surprised she was offered the job. What a selfish attitude towards colleagues

In any line of work which requires nights, weekends, CD, whatever, you (1) divide up the crap shifts by a rota (2) don't ask anyone to work CD two years running (3) allow people to swap but not make them swap or allow pressure to be brought to bear on them and (4) treat every sort of private life as equally valid and worthy of protection. That means no suggestion that the people without children should be first in line to work CD.

Of course whoever has to do it is NBU to feel pissed off - but is BVU to feel, let alone suggest, that X who has no children or adult children should do it instead.

I too work for the emergency services, a small team of people. We " draw sraws" for the one leave space available at Christmas (and those that aren't bothered just dont enter the draw).. Once when I did win it, when I had no kids ..it did cause a ripple of discontent, but it was done fairly. Now I have kids I have had some Christmasses off, some I have not been lucky, but I think thats a better way of doing it rather than people just booking it off.
So YANBU to be annoyed, but rather than simmering try to think, is there another way that the leave can be allocated more fairly, regardless of kids?

Yabu to set a limit of 15. If a parent works a job that requires working on Xmas day then they should work on Xmas day.

I think parents should be careful about the way they word things. It would get my back up too to hear 'I should take precedent over the others as I've got children' or similar.

Perhaps 'If there is any way I could not work Christmas to be with my children I'd so appreciate it - but I will swap/ work any other shifts to make it up to you all' would be better.

But, honestly, it is different not seeing your dc on Christmas day to not seeing your parents as an adult.

Why is it selfish? It's not my main job. I'm contracted 6 hours a week and often do a lot more, helping out when they're stuck. Last year I was on maternity leave but they were struggling on 27th and 28th so I went in and did 5 hours on both days. The managers know I will do what I can any day of the year if they're stuck. Except 25th December. I'm doing shifts on 24th, 26th, 27th and 31st. Totally way over my contracted hours. I may end up doing more if they need extra. One year I worked 14 hours straight on 26th because nobody else was available due to "sickness."

In my place of work we opt to work either christmas day or new years day.

Most people over 30 want christmas day off and the under 30's want new years day off.

Works every year.

I don't think you are going to get the response you WANT from a praenting forum! (FWIW I think YABU and people with children should get preference)

My dad worked either Christmas or New Year on rotation every year when I was growing up, until he was the Senior.

This year I am not working Christmas day but I may next year.
Even with the children a bit older I would be inwardly pissed off.
I mean I accept I have to work but doesn't mean that I don't want to be with my husband and family.

YANBU.

If you choose to work somewhere that provides an essential service, then you know in advance that working christmas may be a possibility.

And that still applies whether you have children or not. Before i had dd, if i worked christmas, it meant dh was by himself for most of christmas day, as our nearest family us more than 4 hrs drive away.

The assumption that some make that their christmas leave is more important than anothers based on whether they have children or not is ridiculous.

And now i have dd, i feel that even more strongly than i did before.

And lets remember we're not talking about some minority group. ALL of us have parents, some unfortunately may have passed away, but we're all born with parents and might very well want to spend xmas day with them, maybe more so if they are old and frail and not many xmases left.

And MOST adults are parents. So it isn't some downtrodden minority group we speak of here! It is simply selfish to think that your own personal wants and circumstances trump everyone elses

In our hospital labs, we never had to work both Christmas and NY - I used to volunteer for Christmas EVe every year so that any parents had the time to get everything ready. One parent was quite happy to do Christmas Day (she enjoyed the rest! but her sons were both older teens by the time I knew her) but mostly we tried to accommodate the parents so they didn't have to work Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. As you do.

Just checking -- she's not refusing to work Christmas, is she? Not planning to pull a sickie? Not making official representations to HR that the policy should be changed to give preference to parents? She's just upset that she has to work Christmas, and you think she shouldn't be allowed to be upset?

where my dad worked everyone had to work either xmas day or new years eve. Generally worked well as people tended to have a strong preference and everyone had to work 1 specila day or evening.

My brother was a vicar (with children). He had to do the midnight service on Christmas Eve and all the Christmas Day services. Sometimes he was called out to bereaved families on Christmas Day.

He accepted it as part of the job, but would really have liked to spend the day with his family.

YANBU to want Christmas off, but nor is anyone else.

troisgarcons, YABU in singling out non-Christians, as I'd bet the majority of UK people don't go to church.

They are mostly nominal Christians, in a Xmassy/Easter eggy sort of way.

In the hospital I work, you work your fair share over Christmas and ny, kids or not.

What you worked the year before is taken into account.

I work in retail and refuse to work boxing day, I told my boss he could rota me in but I would call in sick so better to putt me down for new years instead.

We are lucky that without asking we have an even split of people who want to work each one.

I dont think I'm out of line, I dont believe shops need to open on boxing day (especially ours we have no sale or specials to think of) and when hired we didn't trade on those days.

I've never been in a job where I've had to work Christmas day (thankfully!) but before having children I would always offer to work the less popular shifts like Christmas eve e.t.c. because I knew the parents would be trying to get organised/spend some time with their families etc.

When we were childless, doing a bit of shopping, getting my hair done and meeting our friends down the pub were the extent of our festive obligations tbh
although that may just have been us!

For me it's all about the children. I'm generally pleased with a glass of wine and some chocolate coins!

However old your children are, there is absolutely no reason why you can't celebrate Xmas day on Boxing Day if you have enough notice - you can always pretend that Xmas is a day later (or just give your children their stockings on Xmas morning and rest of present the following day). People are hugely precious about it and having children doesn't give you more of a right to have the day off than any of your colleagues.

I think a rota system is fairest - straw picking is too random to be fair

YANBU

I think everyone doing the same job should be treated equally.

Would be particularly galling for those who are struggling with infertility, to not only have another Christmas without children, but then be told that because they're unlucky enough to be childless, they're first in line to work on Christmas Day as well.

(NOT saying that's the situation BTW, just saying why I think it should be the same rule for all, because the alternative is unfair)

YourMother has put it in a my prefence Brazil nutshell.
Single/Childless couples have only (essentially) themselves to consider, make pretty etc. Parents are genetically programmed to provide for their dependants, not only children but the extended family and friends that often include the single and childless. Would that include you OP?