how to embarrass your kids............................answers on a postcard please.

[coansha]

ok, I get trully pissed off and fed up driving kids to school and back everyday(no bus service) so to lighten my dreary drive and to humiliate my DD's , I secretly shout at passers by and lock my dd'd windows down.
Sometimes I sang opera to the cyclists, but most were no fun and peddled off fast.......
But nothing too terrible, it makes me smile and they(dd's) are horrified, I shout fashion advice but lately one poor chap has been coping it, its his timing bless him.
He walks like the hairs of his arse are tied together, this week he has bought new shoes, very ugly shoes that curl up near the end, so dandini has got every panto line ever thought of, bless him.
SO, any got any other ideas to pass the time, I will add its all slow moving traffic so I am not a danger!!

Draw a beard on I do. That now and again you should see my sons face he he he

My friend did this! He would shout 'excuse me!' just so people would actively turn around and often start heading to the car in case e wanted directions etc. one they were 5 meters away he would just wink and drive off!

DP likes to toot the horn and wave madly at random pedestrians as we drive past them.

Their faces are great as they look slightly puzzled trying to work out who it is whilst half-heartedly waving back

Another one ....a favourite of ours as students used to be shouting after passing cyclists "Oi mate! Your back wheels going round" and then watching them trying to turn round and check it as they pedal along.

excellent, keep them coming!!! beard idea is fab!!I might buy some fancy dress....

Too easy - my mere existence used to be enough to embarrass them. DH and I once took them into town shopping for a skirt - for him. That was fun.

You could have a selection of hats. Is today going to be the police hat day, or the deerstalker day, or maybe the cowboy hat day?

this also works with wigs.

when you drop them at school - particularly secondary school - and they make you drop them a few streets away, wait until they are near the gates and drive past, hooting, and shouting "Darling, have a super day. mummy's going to miss her little angel/soldier. kissy, kissy"

I do have a selection of hats.
I also do the 'lurve you' at the gates.
I have been known to do really dreadful makeup, deliberately, tons of eyeliner, black eyebrows and glitter lippy.

I have also put strange things in lunchboxes on occasion, little cards, a pair of socks, along with the food. I've cut sandwiches into heart shapes, cute at five, not at sixteen!

When ds1 used to work in burger king my friend and i would often go in and ask for "two sumptuous breasts" after a few wines,He was never that amused.
I also did the Amarillo on a table at a party once.
Ds1 and 3 find me funny ds2 does not.
I also like to play Abba on full volume with the car windows down.

My friend has got me a few times by slowing down on the pretence she needs to pull over, yell look at that and as I look out the window I come face to face with someone.
I have fallen for it everytime

@ the cyclists back wheel going round - that's pure genius.

Beware! You reap what you sow.

One day they'll be taking you out for drives from your nursing home, and deliberately driving into potholes and stopping suddenly when you are eating an icecream or refusing to stop when you need the loo.
Oh how the chickens will come home to roost!

You really need to be playing Steps, or Jive Bunny on the CD, or The Wiggles or a CBBC Theme Tunes type compilation.

i actually remember my dad stopping next to the rag & bone man( showing my age now) and offering him my sisters hand in marriage..........
It may well come back to bite me on my bum, but i'm up for it!!!!
I missed dandini this morning but those cyclists had better watch it on the run tonight hahahha(mad scientist laugh)......

Express an opinion on any subject whatever in the presence of any friend of your DD and that's it, job done.

Sounds a bit dangerous shouting out at cyclists. Suppose they hit something while they're trying to check their tyres....?

I said "hello sweetie" to my year 6 boy as I dashed through the school on governor business this morning.

That should do it.

shout Abuse out the window
as in "Abuse"

if traffic is very slow, start hand jiving - kids dive into the footwell if I do it as I drive past the bus stop

Nice for the stranger getting abuse shouted at him every morning...

ROFLMAO omg ... I am sooooooooooooooooo looking forward to my boy starting senior school now

The Andrew Fogg theory works for me.

Putting their school bags in my big shopping bag with wheels works for me