how to embarrass your kids............................answers on a postcard please.

[coansha]

ok, I get trully pissed off and fed up driving kids to school and back everyday(no bus service) so to lighten my dreary drive and to humiliate my DD's , I secretly shout at passers by and lock my dd'd windows down.
Sometimes I sang opera to the cyclists, but most were no fun and peddled off fast.......
But nothing too terrible, it makes me smile and they(dd's) are horrified, I shout fashion advice but lately one poor chap has been coping it, its his timing bless him.
He walks like the hairs of his arse are tied together, this week he has bought new shoes, very ugly shoes that curl up near the end, so dandini has got every panto line ever thought of, bless him.
SO, any got any other ideas to pass the time, I will add its all slow moving traffic so I am not a danger!!

the cyclists are STATIONARY, have no fear....

Dance to the canned music in the supermarket queue - it gets them every time!

I am threatening to make a beetroot cake for the pink day at my DD's school. For some reason this has her squirming in embarrassment

I'm looking forward to publicly telling the tale of how my son (now 2) learned his colours by opening up the bathroom cupboard and passing me tampons of various colours whether I need them or not. Every morning I have a little companion in the bathroom with me saying: "Yellow, mummy?" "Orange, mummy?".

My mum just danced along joyfully to buskers. Especially anything with an "ethnic" vibe - one of those steel drum bands and my mother from Hampshire immediately came over all Caribbean.

Exist - definitely!

Also, put on either deeply uncool music (windows down of course), and if traffic conditions permit, Wayne's World type head-banging - especially if any of their "little friends" are around to witness it.

Unsuitable car ornaments (flags, terrors on the front bumper etc) may be useful props.

I always sing and dance in supermarkets.It's a family tradition,my mother used to do it to my sister and I and my older boys were horrified by it.

However my D is only 4 and at the moment she thinks it's great

But is it unfair to embarrass our children? My DH says I shouldn't do it, but I can't help it. Her desire to follow the herd makes my toes curl. I have taken to calling her wildebeest (just returned from safari).

Unfair? Unfair? It's what parenting is for.

You could use the time to start telling them the facts of life

Put bright red lipstick on and kiss they're foreheads on their way into school.

Go and collect them wearing roller skates. If you can find a lamp post to twirl around while you are waiting, even better

I mess about giggling in the boxer shorts department with my mate - so much so that me 13yo son walked up to a poor Saurday girl and with a comletely deadpan delivery asked "Excuse me, do you have any adult reins for my Mum?"

My work there was done - we left!

coansha - if the traffic is so slow moving and the journey so dull - why aren't you walking to school? and instead of giving cheeky fashion tips from the safety of your car, you could try a friendly word with that poor uptight chap :)

If you sang opera to me (I'm a cyclist) I would sing back...

How charming you sound, taking the piss out of some poor bloke as he walks down the road just to brighten your morning.

I shout at twats in cars that are taking the piss out of innocent people

Yes Sevenfold! It really riles me when people think it's acceptable to do this. Let alone doing it in front of children so they also think it's ok.

Dh has vowed to pull his trousers under his arse wearing his oldest grey pants when ds's friends come to visit and call them all bruv and dude. They are only 2 & 4 atm so we have plenty more time for hatching plans!

DH used to teach in a PRU, and sometimes had to take kids home after prolonged detentions. He kept a couple of kiddie songs cds in the car (Pop Goes The Weasel / Rudolph etc) so he could embarass them by playing such songs VERY loud as he drove slowly through whichever hard estate his passenger lived on.

ps A friend of mine's mum once collected him from boarding school on a 1000cc Honda. She was a very big woman & tight leathers were not really "her"! He's a colonel now, so it didn't (quite) wreck his life.

I can collect my DS in his dad's GWiz and car dance at the same time . Not cool.

Oooh, great thread

I live for these moments - mostly, like someone said, merely existing is enough. But I do find skipping, singing and rapping to be most beneficial.

I will be watching with interest.

14 yrs old DS gets really embarrased when you give him a massive big kiss in the middle of town, also pinching his bum (is this sexual harrassment?). Always leave any shop via the underwear department making sure you show them the sexiest thongs and bra's you can find.
Unforunately DH beats me hands down as he does always strip down to his boxer shorts at any disco when they play 'you can leave your hat on' much to our DD's horror. Now always trys to leave the room as soon as she hears the opening bars.

Nice for the stranger getting abuse shouted at him every morning My sentiments entirely KittyFane

& what a great lesson to teach your kids

january thats very different to the OPs post, your not harming innocent strangers & yes - I might not be able to resist that one either -

When our friends DD hit the teen, I know EVERYTHING & I CBA to put my head down & learn for my exams - stage - our friend in his 50s who is an old punk - dug out his old bondage gear, sprayed whats left of his hair bright red & spiked it up, safety pins in his ears etc & set off to walk her to School -

she FREAKED & it was his threat for the next couple of years, if she didn't put her head down & work - he would be picking her up from school - dressed like that - it worked

Totally agree that people should not shout abuse. How rude!

On the other hand hats are brilliant for embarassing children. There is a multitude of winter hats especially designed for this. Not only can you keep warm but the strange horns/spiky wooly bits/or resembles dead animal will attract loads of attention.

I love the idea of playing Cbeebies tunes :)