how to embarrass your kids............................answers on a postcard please.

[coansha]

ok, I get trully pissed off and fed up driving kids to school and back everyday(no bus service) so to lighten my dreary drive and to humiliate my DD's , I secretly shout at passers by and lock my dd'd windows down.
Sometimes I sang opera to the cyclists, but most were no fun and peddled off fast.......
But nothing too terrible, it makes me smile and they(dd's) are horrified, I shout fashion advice but lately one poor chap has been coping it, its his timing bless him.
He walks like the hairs of his arse are tied together, this week he has bought new shoes, very ugly shoes that curl up near the end, so dandini has got every panto line ever thought of, bless him.
SO, any got any other ideas to pass the time, I will add its all slow moving traffic so I am not a danger!!

You shout fashion advice at a random stranger? How horrible.

My mum used to ask me (loudly) while we waited (in a crowd) at pedestrian crossings if I needed more sanitary towels.

I've got her back now though - I use the same opportunities to ask if she needs more Tena Lady.

DH had run out of coversation with MIL once and pontificated about getting a tattoo when he was 26. MIL said quite quickly "oh you are a bit old for that". Now DH will never get one.

Skipping - or pretend horse ridding - both work a treat

why embarress others for your enjoyment? what have passers by in the street done to deserve that?

It's Children in Need next Friday - get the face paints out and do yourself up like Pudsey complete with a set of the ears on a headband - great fun!

I walked DD to school then on to town/library and home again like it last year.

She's 7 now and has told me if I even consider doing it again she will go round to her friend's house and get her mum to take her to school instead.

Luckily for her I'm not working next Friday so won't need to do it!

When DS1 (13 going on 26) has friends around DH dresses in outfit he brought back from Afghanistan and sits in the room casually reading the newspaper. Alternately if she is going out with friends he will wait until they are 50m up the road and run after her brandishing a few pounds telling them to buy themselves some ginger beer as a spiffing treat!

I could add to this thread so many times!

I did embarrass my two once on the upper deck of a bus on the way home from school. There weren't many people upstairs and my two were sitting behind me. Two unknown boys (another school) were sitting in front of me and a lone boy who attended a local private school was in front of them. All in school uniform. The two boys were pulling at his cap or his hair or his satchel, making rude remarks to him and generally making him feel uncomfortable. I stood up and dealt with it, looked round and my two had slid down out of sight because I had embarrased them!

My husband and I have also danced down a Texas (DIY) aisle doing a quickstep to the musak - and actually received applause at the end.

When we were driving along as a family, I would sometimes quickly point out of a window, looking backwards and say, "Look, three dead dogs!" My two would swiftly turn round to see them but, of course, they were never there. Now I can do it with my grandchildren. I try it with my son occasionally but he just responds with, Oh, Mummm!"

Hats. Hats are fab.

I bought DH a trapper hat last year which he loves and wears all winter long now. DD1 started dodging out the door to school alone shortly after (she was 11, its fine).

DD2 came home today and said that the boys in the class said her dad wants to be a dog cos he always wears a hat with fluffy ears. She is 7 and mortified. Brilliant.

DH in return has bought me a lovely fur (fake) lined peruvian style cream hat with pompoms this year. I wore it to the firework display at the weekend. They both nearly cried.

This is character building.

My dd and I used to get the bus and sit behind a boy with a hoodie down. So I would always put our bus tickets into his empty hood.

And I would grab her hand and make her wave to people.

She pretended that she hated it

On a really windy day when both kids are in the back lock both windows down in the back and enjoy their shocked faces, that will wake them up a bit!

Gordy, skipping works a treat!:). Took my dds (aged 14 & 15) shopping for party outfits in that London. Went into a trendy type place that was playing loud trance, noted loudly that "that's a filthy beat" and started dancing. They didn't bat an eye! Is it sad that they kind of expect such antics of me?

DO NOT forget to use "mummy spit" on the corner of a tissue to clear smudged makeup from the face of teenagers taller than you, preferably boys ....

I shout fashion advice but lately one poor chap has been coping it, its his timing bless him
He walks like the hairs of his arse are tied together, this week he has bought new shoes, very ugly shoes that curl up near the end, so dandini has got every panto line ever thought of, bless him

Really?? Have you actually thought about the effect this might be having on the poor man in question? If someone was regularly shouting abuse at me about the way I was dressed while I was going about my daily business I would be devastated. I hope he takes your registration number and reports you for harrassment. You are teaching your children how to be bullies.