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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to ask for money back from a friend? Mumsnet jury please.

134 replies

LeNameChange · 07/11/2011 11:38

Need your votes please.

I have a very good friend. Over 10 years ago, when we starting out in our careers, I lent her quite a lot of money (£1,800) to buy a second hand car, as she could not do her new job without it. I had also just started my career but had had a really big contract and could afford to lend it to her. The deal was always that it was a loan and that she would pay it back. This was all pre marriage and babies etc.

Now, I am married with 2 DCs. I still work and my DH has a good job. She is engaged. She and her Dfiancé do not earn as much as we do, and indeed often complain about being skint, not having the money to pay for their wedding etc.

I am ridiculously bad at asking for this money back. A few years ago, she inherited quite a large sum of money and said she was going to 'pay off her debts'. Great, I thought, I'll get my money back. But she just paid off her credit cards. Then once I asked her to pay it back and she agreed to set up a direct debit of £20 a month and it never happened. I really value our friendship and don't want to rock the boat. it's such a hard subject to raise.

I think that the bottom line is that I feel bad asking her for the money when her set up means she is not as well off as me (by the way we are not rich, just better off than her). £1800 is a great deal of money to me and I would dearly love to have it back. AIBU unreasonable to ask for it back given that she does struggle a bit (mind you, she and fiance do work and they have no kids).

Thanks in advance.

OP posts:
BlueFergie · 07/11/2011 16:41

Talk is cheap. Lets see if she comes through...

clam · 07/11/2011 17:01

Hmm So, she's in a position to be able to pay you back now, either in on e lump sum or spread out a bit, yet she hadn't done so?
She forgot about it????
Call me an old cynic, but she'd not be off the hook in my book. "Told you she was nice" my arse.

valiumredhead · 07/11/2011 17:04

What clam said - with bells on!!!

duvetdayplease · 07/11/2011 17:06

Oh, I hope it all gets sorted out!

Jajas · 07/11/2011 17:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HappyAsEyeAm · 08/11/2011 11:04

Well done OP for sending the email, and I'm glad you've had a response promising the money. Hurrah. And I hope you get the money quickly! Do let us know.

esselle · 14/11/2011 13:10

Any new$ yet?

soandsosmummy · 14/11/2011 14:20

I was wondering the same

Oddly enough the day after posting the story about my friend he rung and asked me round for dinner. He's got a girlfriend and a baby now and its just so wonderful to see him so happy after all he's been through. :)

maypole1 · 14/11/2011 14:28

Nither a lender or a brrower be

You should never lend something you can't afford to loose

Never do business with friends or family

These are sayings for a reason
I very much doubt you will see any of that money again if so it will be over months

Lesson don't do it again

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