To have reported this mum to the head teacher this morning?

[shagmundfreud]

I was dropping ds and friend's dd to infants this morning and as I walked through the gate to the playground realised that the loud and hectoring voice I could hear was coming from a parent walking about 10 feet behind me having conversation on her mobile. Between coming through the gate and reaching the classroom she swore five times at least ('he's fucking useless', 'I'm not fucking having him break his promises to her! Etc) in such a loud voice that both the children with me turned and looked at me in alarm and asked why she was swearing. Was I unreasonable to phone the head when I got home and ask her to say something to this mum? Or should I have quietly said something myself (and risk getting slapped - she's much younger and tougher than me .

On a slightly separate note - feel sad for her kids that their mum is having angry public conversations about their dad (several other things she said point to this being what she was probably talking about).

I live in east London, and I can imagine this happening in our playground. I would have made a jokey single por said something to her ina friendly way. Even the roughest parents would realise it was wrong to talk like this in a playground, it's all about the way you approach it.
My dc would probably roll their eyes at me or something though, I don't think it would have a detrimental effect.

Someone suggested it would not be possible to ban a parent from the school playground/ premises. Actually that can be done. I have known parents have their child met at the school gate or only be allowed to deliver their child to the office due to parental 'antisocial' behaviour in the play ground.
Usually time limited if parent promises to behave themselves on school grounds and does so. Swearing profusely would come under that catagory at our primary.

"I would have made a jokey single por said something to her ina friendly way. Even the roughest parents would realise it was wrong to talk like this in a playground, it's all about the way you approach it."

What - like sidle up to a mum I've never spoken to and say 'Gosh, that was a heated call you were making the other day. My kids ears were burning listening to you effing and blinding in the playground. Ha Ha.'

Seriously - what would you say if it's a parent you've never spoken to before, who you only see for a second or two in the morning as she's dashing in with her kids?

There's no jokey or relaxed way of telling someone that their language offended you and your children. Not after the event. And not during the event if you have children with you, and the mum in question has headphones on and is in the middle of a call.

I don't know- put your finger to your lips and raise your eyebrows??

If I didn't have the nerve to say anything to this woman (she probably would have got one of my "looks" ), then I'd leave it, unless it came up with the children later.

If the children were still about it, it's a good opportunity to talk about use of language - i.e. most normal folk don't use really bad language where children/people they don't know can hear.

I don't really see myself as the swear policewoman of Old Durham Town, though. I wouldn't get het up about it.

If everybody just accepts this sort of behaviour with a fatalistic "Oh well, there's nothing I can do about it", it becomes the norm. Of course the op was right to bring it to the Head's attention, and yes there are sanctions he can enforce.

YANBU OP - haven't read through all 7 pages so might be repeating, but I think you did the only thing you could do, other than ignore it. Heads are absolutely interested in parents' behaviour in the playground if it adversely affects children - or they should be.

I don't think you did anything wrong OP. If this happened in school then the Head would probably be glad you mentioned it-I am a teacher and know that our head would deal with it really sensibly, she certainly wouldn't let it go. I don't think you were gutless either. If you had said something then and there it might have precipitated an even bigger outburst.

I heard a similar thing recently and was so shocked. I think it is better not to get into a slagging match tho as you have to see this mum every day. maybe the head could put a note in the newsletter? sweary mom prob wouldn't read it tho!

I am kind of with you on this one in a sense OP. I think it's quite funny how fully grown adults are mocking you - makes them sound like children more, don't you think? ;)

Anyway yes I wouldn't want my kids or anyones kids to have to hear that kind of thing in the school premises. Of course they will hear swearing but does it have to be from a parent? They are supposed to be the ones teaching children appropriate behaviour. Now I know no adult is completely grown up and nobody can act appropriate the whole of the time, especially when stressed. But couldn't she have done it after she dropped the kids off? Only 5 minutes would've made a whole lot of difference.

I personally though would have called her out on it. Saying "Excuse me. Excuse me. Can you please stop using that kind of language, there are a lot of children around."

If she says it's none of your business, state that your childs welfare is your business and that she should take it outside the school gates.

How are teachers supposed to tell kids not to swear when they hear it from some other kids mother or father on the playground? They might as well not do it if that is the case. Just like you wouldn't get a parent telling a kid to spark up a cigarette, or go out late at night on their own - the same with foul language should apply.

My friend was picking up her children and I came along with her and one of the parents had the most foulest of mouths. Not only to others, but to her child. I also had this experience when doing work experience whilst in school. I believe one of the parents called their child a little C&$%. I don't think this is acceptable at all. Means to me a majority of parents aren't fit to be parents. Because if they are willing to swear and emotionally blackmail their kids, what else are they doing? I know we are all only human but seriously? If you have a child, you make a sacrifice and a pledge to be the best possible person you can be for them.

Sorry this was long, just wanted to get my opinion across. I do tend to write essays. :)

Oh and if you know which child she was the parent of you could possibly talk to her childs teacher and not tell her to tell her off or anything, just to tell her that she was swearing and you are sorry if your child swears, but you aren't the one who has been teaching them that kind of language. If s(he) chooses to take it up with the parent, that would be up to the teachers discretion.

On a slight tangent here, but...why have so many of you assumed the head teacher is male, when the OP has clearly said that she's a woman? We're all meant to have been emancipated, yet the unconscious mind still betrays us. Shameful!

I would just have though to myself 'what a fucking chav' . I would also make a mental note to put my house on the market and move to a better shcool catchment area.

Well that has to be the most helpful post yet!