To have reported this mum to the head teacher this morning?

[shagmundfreud]

I was dropping ds and friend's dd to infants this morning and as I walked through the gate to the playground realised that the loud and hectoring voice I could hear was coming from a parent walking about 10 feet behind me having conversation on her mobile. Between coming through the gate and reaching the classroom she swore five times at least ('he's fucking useless', 'I'm not fucking having him break his promises to her! Etc) in such a loud voice that both the children with me turned and looked at me in alarm and asked why she was swearing. Was I unreasonable to phone the head when I got home and ask her to say something to this mum? Or should I have quietly said something myself (and risk getting slapped - she's much younger and tougher than me .

On a slightly separate note - feel sad for her kids that their mum is having angry public conversations about their dad (several other things she said point to this being what she was probably talking about).

Everlong

Overheard a man outside nursery on friday shouting 'don't talk to me about fucking respect! You don't fucking know what respect is! I've got fucking honour I have!' at his partner. He was holding his little boy's hand at the time...
(in case you're wondering - no kids apart from their own to hear it so nothing to do with me. But you know - )

Don't blame you for being angry, but I do think going to the head about it is a bit strange. What is she/he supposed to do? Assuming they didn't hear it themselves, they are going on hearsay.

What did the head say? Are they going to do anything?

You were right OP. She's possibly the type that would punch you for saying it or, at least swear at you. Personally I would have said something, but I'm risky!!

PS what it comes down to is that you'll never be able to shield your DC from every swear word or outburst in the world, but when they do witness it, I try to turn it around and use it as a positive - ie 'what horrible language, I'm so proud that we would never use those horrible words' etc....

Head absolutely has control over this woman.

Head has in the past had to talk to parents about unacceptable behaviour - including fighting, arguing, swearing and littering on school premises.

I'm sad you all see this as a trivial business. The kids round here deal with enough adult unpleasantness outside school. School should be a sanctuary where kids feelings come first - not a place where they're exposed to verbal aggression from parents.

OP... You should have said. We're supposed to say "Well done YANBU". Why ask?

By your last post, you have a history of hearing this behaviour and saying nothing. Did you report the man to the nursery teacher?

I don't get it. Any adult knows that if they hit somebody, there will be bad consequences. Do you really think that somebody will thump you if you draw attention to their swearing in front of a child? If it really bothered you, you'd say something.

The headteacher is going to do what, exactly? "Ho, Ms Parent... you were heard swearing by another parent, cease and desist". Or maybe a letter to all parents, telling them that they must not swear on the premises...

It's not trivial. Why are you twisting what people say? It was YOUR responsibility to say something.

Things - I'm not naive. I live in a very deprived area and my kids go to school with some children whose lives are very hard.

I just think parents should show some respect to the school community by not behaving in ways which are overtly aggressive (which loud swearing is) on school premises.

And I absolutely DO think the head should address unacceptable behaviour from parents when it's upsetting pupils at the school.

YANBU our school take behaviour like that seriously and will, as well as reminding people in the newsletter, ban repeat offenders from the playground.

But if the Headteacher has already tackled this before, it's obviously not worked, has it?

I dont think its trivial, I think its a shame that swearing has become such an acceptable way to talk in front of children - certainly if parents are fighting in the playground then the staff need to deal with it but I really dont see how they can justify talking to her about her language if you are the only person who reported her.

If you get a newsletter it will probably have a reminder "not to swear in the playground" but to be honest I wouldnt expect her to take any notice as people who behave like this in that environment are almost certainly too stupid and self centred to take any notice.

Op, you do know all the teachers are going to be taking tbe piss out of you in the staff room!

You're a loon!

Lyingwitch - no, I didn't think she would hit me. But she might well have told me to fuck off in front of my asd ds, who would be talking about it for the next ten years.

I've witnessed some VERY nasty arguments. Between parents and was with one mother when another strode up to us and told friend she'd lamp her if friend's ds made anymore rude comments about her weight to her ds (boys were doing that 'your mum's so fat she should have her own post code' stupidness).

I don't want to expose my ds to verbal aggression from an adult. Or me for that matter.

Maybe the school could put something in their newsletter about parents behaviour on school premises, as a previous poster had done at her dc's school.

Memoo, how do you know that?

The Head should not pass on details on conversations
Teachers have more respect

Unless you are a teacher on a day off, in which case can you rethink parent confidentiality at your school please

Yabu, why didn't you turn round and ask her to stop swearing around the kids. Being scared of getting slapped is ridiculous! As someone has already said she may have been stressed (which is no excuse) and a quiet word with her would probably have been enough to make her realise that school grounds weren't the right place to be having this conversation. Man up!

Yabu, why didn't you turn round and ask her to stop swearing around the kids. Being scared of getting slapped is ridiculous! As someone has already said she may have been stressed (which is no excuse) and a quiet word with her would probably have been enough to make her realise that school grounds weren't the right place to be having this conversation. Man up!

I pass a dad walking his 5/6ish year old DS to school every morning and almost every time he's swearing at and saying really nasty things to him. This morning he was saying '...taking fucking ages over breakfast, sitting there staring around the room, you're fucking useless mate' as I passed them I always wonder whether to say something to the HT but I don't know either of them to be able to say who they are.

Sorry, slight hijack.

I'm not sure who you think is trivialising this, but just the majority seem to feel that you WBU to call the head about it rather than dealing with it yourself at the time.

Isn't that what you asked opinions about?

As for now drip feeding us information about your ds, the school etc - why not just be up front from the start rather than trying to justify your actions now that the majority of us have told you that we think YABU?

At my dc's old school the head was forced to put a notice in the school newsletter asking that parents curb their language in the school playground. Some parents had obviously complained.

This is a difficult one. I hate loud, shouty, sweary people in front of young kids and I can see that for some young children that could be frightening if they are not used to that kind of language in such raised tones.

Personally I have and would confront the swearer by saying "Excuse me - not in front of the kiddies please!" with a polite smile and 9 times out of 10 that works. But if she was on the phone then you would have had to wrestle her to the ground just to get her attention (which is another way). Or you could have waited until she came back out and apologised for being able to hear her sweary phone call and explain that your children were frightened by her. She would have either apologised or told you to fuck off.

Unless the head gets lots of complaints, he/she is unlikely to do anything so I'm afraid you might just have to let this one go but be prepared to speak out in future. The more people are prepared to speak out the less likely it is that they'll insist on having the entire school listen in to their phone calls in the first place.

I don't think all the teachers will be laughing in the staff-room at all. They know they teach in a rough school and usually try very hard to limit anti-social behaviour (fighting, swearing, smoking, aggressive looking dogs) to outside the school gates. The school mine went to (for a year before I moved them out of it as it was hellish) was very hot on parents behaving themselves on school property.

And if being scared of getting a slap sounds ridiculous, I respectfully suggest your children don't go to that type of school, a slap (or full-on long-term feud involving several relations and friends) would be quite likely.

Eagle, not a teacher but a TA up to having dd so have heard many a conversation where teachers are bemused by the things parents phone up about. Like teachers don't have enough to do without being asked to monitor the behaviour of grown adults!!

My childrens school is awful for this, in the playground (bearing in mind this is an infant school) the language is awful from not just one or two of the parents but many of them.
It is. No surprise that on the first day of reception one of the little boys was stood at the door screaming "im not fucking going in" - a four year old.
I hate swearing in front of children but really the school cant do much about it there are so many other problems.