For getting annoyed by my mum saying "college" all the time??

[movember]

Sounds a bit petty but my mum constantly refers to University as "college". Maybe I am being anal about it (probably) but I come from a non academic family. Out of 7 siblings, only one aunt actually went to university (and none of my 12 cousins have either so it was always a bit of a battle against the odds for me. I'm not massively academic so it took alot to actually get IN university, 2 years of education just to get to interview. Then I had to apply amongst 800 people for 200 places. I was one of the successful ones but it was bloody hard and I am proud of myself for getting in.

It's a big deal for me.

Yet my mum constantly refers to it as college and talks about it as if it's just a few gcses Im doing (its a science degree). I and my sister correct her all the time but she does it that often I'm sure she's doing it on purpose.

Yesterday for instance:

mum - "what were you doing on the 26th?"
me - "it's a night out with people from uni"
mum - "oh yes, you're going out with your college friends."

I don't always correct her because I think it sounds a bit twattish but why does she do it??

I constantly get "oh, are you at college today? do you have an assignment to do over the weekend?"

errr ... I have an assignment to do over the next 3 months, not the fecking weekend.

It could be put down to her having no experience of academic stuff but it's SO annoying and she manages to get everyone's place of education right! for instance "oh when your sister finishes college she might go to uni!" hmm you sure she won't just stay at "college" forever? grrrr

Haha; this post made me laugh - it's a little thing, but I understand why it grates on you! I'm at university; and my other halfs parents constantly refer to it as 'school', which annoys me no end!
Example: 'Ooo is MrOuch working today, aren't you lucky you just have to go to school why he works!' I just want to shout FECK OFF I'll be earning more money when I graduate from UNIVERSITY than if I didn't!

God who cares? I graduated from "uni" last year and always referred to it as school. Occasionally college. Uni sounds gross!

We just say school here. It is school after all.
Just wear a school, oops... I mean university jacket. You are right to feel proud of attending university, just let the word college roll over you, not worth any grief.
It is not a disgrace to attend college you know.

Bonsoir, I disagree re Oxbridge. I do not know anyone who would say "when I was up at Magdalen" or whatever, except for some fellows/dons, and Boris Johnson. It is quite an affected way to speak even if technically correct. I don't think anybody really talks like that any more...

In normal talk I think more likely you would talk about university (as in "she's a university friend", or "when I was at Oxford") or between ourselves, college as in "do you remember her from College?").

How odd that so many people here object to "uni"

I understand your feelings, especially as from the example you've given, it does appear that she is downgrading your achievement.
My Mum worked in a college of further education, my Dad worked in a Polytechnic and I went to a Polytechnic which is now a University. We referred to it as "going to Poly" all the time so can't quite see why the snobbery over calling university a "Uni" - similar contraction, after all. My ex went to a college of Higher Education, which then became a conglomerated university (TVU) so we were careful of the distinction.

However, if she IS doing it deliberately to wind you up, then I'd suggest you rise above it, get the best grade you possibly can and then get a fabulous career - and I bet she boasts to all her friends that you've done so well out of going to University. :)

Agree with wild haven - I haven't heard it used when I was at Oxbridge or since like that

How odd that so many people here object to "uni"

Its University that's why. Uni is an abomination

Allhail - yes, Neighbours is still going strong! Home & Away too... :)

Bonsoir - whilst at Oxford one tended not to drop ones college name into conversation so would say "I'm just going to college...for lunch" etc. Which was to show you were going to ones college rather than staying into the library, or popping into the Bodleian or where-ever. You friends would all know which college you were in. If you said "I'm going to Christ Church" it would sounds as if you were visiting your Girlfriend/Boyfriend or might open the question "Why?"
Since Oxford one says "When I was at Oxford...." To which someone might ask, "Oh which college?"

It could be different at Cambridge, I only worked there, and their use of language is different.

Can't read the word 'Uni' without an Aussie drawl..OP think the prob is not with what your mother calls your place of education, but what you perceive her attitude to be - that she thinks you've got 'ideas above your station' . Maybe she does , perhaps she could just genuinely not want you to succeed or perhaps she may be dealing with her own issues regarding lack of education.

With regards to the posts on Trinity College Dublin, can I add that Trinity, like UCD, UCC or indeed Oxford etc is a constituent college of a university - the University of Dublin. Only difference is that it is the ONLY constituent college of that University.

No mummytime - use of college was similar at cambridge ime (except quite often you wouldnt bother with college after the name when talking about visiting a friend at queens )

working9while5 and Maryz I too,went to Trinity and have always called it college prob for the reason that elliphant gives :)

Anyway,what about a forum for all us Trinity folk?!

Rubbish bonsoir. I never say 'when I was up at XXX' I always say college or university. The only people I have come across who say 'when I was up at XXX' are about 95 and would also say that they read Greats

Oh agree with mummytime (and and wildheaven)

As above, I think the issue is what she intends, not what words she uses. As illustrated usage has changed a lot over time, especially the last 20 years (since I finished school and went to university).

We had 'sixth form' at school and there were also 'sixth form colleges' so I find the use of 'college' alone, as a general term for 16-18 education, quite odd, though accept it. I think of colleges as parts of a collegiate university, or an FE college, so tertiary education.

'Uni' definitely came from Neighbours, just coming in but not widely used when I went. It just sounds un-British in a too-deliberately-casual-and-perky way. Though, the naming of school years as 'year 1' etc, rather than 'first year junior', 'third year senior' etc also sounded extremely odd to me on Neighbours and still does, though now in common use here.

Canadians (don't know about Americans) often use 'U' as in 'I go to Ottawa U' and we haven't picked that up but have their habit of using 'school' for tertiary institutions, not just the post-graduate ones actually called '... school of...'. I find that genuinely confusing e.g. I once read a business magazine headline asking 'which CEOs did not go to school?' and thought 'what, you're exploring whether some were home-educated?' before realising it meant 'which did not do MBAs'. That's not a good example as business schools usually are just that but they use it for universities too which I find absurbly infantilising, whereas we only do it ironically e.g. 'on a school night?'.

I'm sure people will disagree with my usages though, just demonstrating that there isn't just one generally accepted set any more.

Agree with LRDtheFeministDragon - I was asked by our family GP when at university which college I was at to which I replied indignantly completing misunderstanding the question "I am not at college I am at (an ex-Poly) University" (thinking college was some lesser institution) and the reply was "At Cambridge we always went up to college" which was a crushing put down and reminder of my working class status and lack of any family tradition of higher education ...

As others have said, most old universities were an amalgamation of various even more ancient colleges and they were/are who you apply to to study and the institution ex-students most identify with rather than the university.

Mytholmroyd Ouch!

Gosh. After all these years eh? Is Harold Bishop still in it? And Toady? OR was he Home and Away?

Your ex-H sounds resentful and a tad jealous perhaps?
Maybe, especially since your family as a rule haven't followed a route into further education, your Mum thinks that you're getting ideas 'above your station' IYKWIM? What's your relationship like otherwise? Perhaps she keeps saying college to state in a passive-aggressive way, that you'll be reminded that you're still no better than her or your siblings and so forth?

Ah, maybe I'm talking shite OP - been up all hours with a croupy 3 year old and am babbling.

Either way, if I were you, I'd drop the 'university' out of your conversations because it shouldn't take that one word to make you feel immensely proud of your achievements. I would however, ask your Mum quietly one day, "Mum, you are glad for me aren't you? You do know why I'm doing this degree, don't you?" and you can reel off your reasons - i.e. better job prospects, better earning potential, better future for your children, but include that you want to make her proud of you.

Because that's the crux of it here I think.

allhail - I confess I don't know about Harold - Toady was the local lawyer in Neighbours, don't know if he's still in it - bizarrely since moving to Australia, I haven't hardly watched Neighbours - Home & Away is the one we watch ! (excuse rubbish punctuation there)

I was at Cambridge, but if I'm talking generally I always say 'when I was at college'. I don't tend to say 'when I was at Cambridge' or 'at x college' as I think it can sound a bit off-putting.

'Uni' is painful.

Thanks for the sympathy Whosegotmyeyebrows still feel the rush of embarassment at "not being in the know" all these years later!

If she knows the difference between university (or uni, honestly, does it matter?) and college and is doing it to make you feel bad, YANBU.

If she just says it cos she's not bothered, I'd let it go.