For getting annoyed by my mum saying "college" all the time??

[movember]

Sounds a bit petty but my mum constantly refers to University as "college". Maybe I am being anal about it (probably) but I come from a non academic family. Out of 7 siblings, only one aunt actually went to university (and none of my 12 cousins have either so it was always a bit of a battle against the odds for me. I'm not massively academic so it took alot to actually get IN university, 2 years of education just to get to interview. Then I had to apply amongst 800 people for 200 places. I was one of the successful ones but it was bloody hard and I am proud of myself for getting in.

It's a big deal for me.

Yet my mum constantly refers to it as college and talks about it as if it's just a few gcses Im doing (its a science degree). I and my sister correct her all the time but she does it that often I'm sure she's doing it on purpose.

Yesterday for instance:

mum - "what were you doing on the 26th?"
me - "it's a night out with people from uni"
mum - "oh yes, you're going out with your college friends."

I don't always correct her because I think it sounds a bit twattish but why does she do it??

I constantly get "oh, are you at college today? do you have an assignment to do over the weekend?"

errr ... I have an assignment to do over the next 3 months, not the fecking weekend.

It could be put down to her having no experience of academic stuff but it's SO annoying and she manages to get everyone's place of education right! for instance "oh when your sister finishes college she might go to uni!" hmm you sure she won't just stay at "college" forever? grrrr

Both of my parents went to university and my dad was a professor. DSis and I both studied at Cambridge. My parents invariably referred to it as "college" and I never thought anything of it.

Perhaps you're being a bit over-sensitive, OP? Obviously, if your mum is deliberately trying to belittle your achievements, then that's rubbish, but maybe she doesn't mean anything by it at all.

My American friend used to talk about being at "school" when she was at harvard. I was a bit at first, but it's just the way the word is used over there.

Try not to sweat the small stuff! :)

I think I (and others) prefer it to be referred to as uni/university as it distinguishes between doing a degree or a college course like a photography or flower arranging etc

I went to a college of London University in the 80s. We referred to it as college. Apart from anything else it was a non divisive way of referring to tertiary education without looking as if we were trying to show off in front of friends who hadn't gone to university.

the words "college" and "university" are interchangeable (in most circumstances) in the United States. Maybe your mum is American? Seriously, though, I say it all the time. Now I'm worried that my friends here think I'm an uneducated twat!?

But nbee, why is that distinction so important? Smacks of insecurity to me!

My mum does the reverse. Never refers to my further education as 'uni' or 'college' but always gives it the full-on Hyacinth Bucket 'Un-iv-er-sity'. (Yes, I am Sheridan) Think there's some snobbery at play but doesn't bother me either way.

And, yes, if an American says, "Where did you go to school?", it means where did you go to Uni. Along with, "What do you do," it's probably one of the first questions you'd be asked over there (by someone of your own generation). Please don't think we're horrible!

mrs baldwin, the oxbridge thing sounds like it's all in your head... you do sound like you have a big chip going on there. I wouldn't even notice.
OP, in the US it's called college (college-educated), some universities have colleges (not just Ox & Cam...), it sounds like it's something about your mum that's getting on your nerves.
Was one of the first in my family to go to uni/college/whatever but I couldn't give a stuff frankly what anyone calls it, we all know what each other means.

I think for me, it's that I wanted my dd's hard work to be recognised.

Least she's not calling it 'polytechnic' .... Could that be it though, is it a university that used to be a college something else?

I thought university was referred to as college? I'd never take it as an insult personally it was what we all said when I was at erm college.

But I also know that it's often not what people say but the intent.

ha my boss does this. 'is tuesday your college day'

'yes tuesday is my UNIVERSITY day' i repeat, all the fecking time

Fair enough, nbee. I guess I always just took it for granted that my hard work would be recognised - that's why you get a degree at the end of it. But I guess it's a question of being recognised by who!

Sorry, were you referring to the nanny/babysitter comment?

If so, it's because a babysitter is general someone young who does it for a bit of extra money, maybe not even particularly liking children. As a nanny it's my career and I do it because I love children and am an influential part of their learning and upbringing.

I'm irish too and we always said university rather than college, however quite often we would have used the university's name in general conversation. Agree that uni is Neighbours twattishness .

X posts - slow typer here

Troisgarcons no-one ever answered with Balliol or Corpus Christi - they always seem to do the shifting bum cheeks. But then again I'm not asking them 'where did you go to college?' as I already know, in that situation that it was Oxbridge. I might be saying something like [thinks]: 'that's the sort of thing were probably did when when we were at college, eh?' So the remark itself deliberately doesn't lend to 'actually I was at Balliol'

But anyway, my Oxbridge chip aside, OP, what do you think about my theory of social class?

My brother went to Uni in the early 80's (we're from the North West, we always shorten words) and my mother (and subsequently all of us) referred to it as college, because he was in a particular college. Similar with my sister. DH refers to his university in the same way.

It drives my niece, who's just started doing her degree, batshit crazy. "It's NOT college, it's UNIVERSITY!" she explodes at us every time we mistakenly say the C word. I think it's because these days a lot of children seem to go to 6th form college/a different 6th form from their secondary school, so they all think of that as being 'college' and 'university' is the next stage up.

However, you do sound a teensy bit precious, OP.

Many years ago, I bumped into an American friend in town and she said 'Oh, are you not in school today?' I said 'No. You know, actually I'm doing my Masters degree'. 'Yes, I know - like I said, you're not in school today'. I was all at having been so uppity about it - she meant 'grad school' ie postgrad study! So I can sympathise when you've worked hard to get somewhere the ego can rankle so easily, and if your Mum also has a tendency to put down your achievements. But I think 'college' 'university' 'uni' (which I am entitled to use as I went to an Australian university ) and 'school' are synonymous. What matters is how hard you worked to get there and what you achieve while you are there - something which no-one else has any power to diminish.

missfairlie I do have a MASSIVE chip it's true

When I become Minister for Higher Education I am going to pass a special anti-Oxbridge law.
[goes off to think what would be in this law]

I'm with Honey. I went to Cambridge, and I always say "when I was at college" or "he's a friend from college" etc. I don't feel the need to explain that it was Cambridge. As if anyone cares!

I care Olivetti! But only because I didn't go there myself!

yabu

must admit I usually use the word college when my apprentices are doing their day release degrees at the local uni

This is because the Uni's around here used to be xxxx college of technology and the colleges used to do the same degree level courses (in the 80's) that the uni's now do today.

they know its a uni, they know they are doing a degree - they are really down to earth young adults and it doesnt matter to them how us oldies refer to it in conversation as they respect the fact we got our degrees at a college as there werent many institutions called universities in Scotland in the 80's

give your mum a break its only a word