Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

For getting annoyed by my mum saying "college" all the time??

199 replies

movember · 05/11/2011 10:00

Sounds a bit petty but my mum constantly refers to University as "college". Maybe I am being anal about it (probably) but I come from a non academic family. Out of 7 siblings, only one aunt actually went to university (and none of my 12 cousins have either so it was always a bit of a battle against the odds for me. I'm not massively academic so it took alot to actually get IN university, 2 years of education just to get to interview. Then I had to apply amongst 800 people for 200 places. I was one of the successful ones but it was bloody hard and I am proud of myself for getting in.

It's a big deal for me.

Yet my mum constantly refers to it as college and talks about it as if it's just a few gcses Im doing (its a science degree). I and my sister correct her all the time but she does it that often I'm sure she's doing it on purpose.

Yesterday for instance:

mum - "what were you doing on the 26th?"
me - "it's a night out with people from uni"
mum - "oh yes, you're going out with your college friends."

I don't always correct her because I think it sounds a bit twattish but why does she do it??

I constantly get "oh, are you at college today? do you have an assignment to do over the weekend?"

errr ... I have an assignment to do over the next 3 months, not the fecking weekend.

It could be put down to her having no experience of academic stuff but it's SO annoying and she manages to get everyone's place of education right! for instance "oh when your sister finishes college she might go to uni!" hmm you sure she won't just stay at "college" forever? grrrr

OP posts:
valiumredhead · 05/11/2011 10:27

No-one said uni down here before neighbours

Very true Grin

MollieO · 05/11/2011 10:27

I was at university in the 80s. It was called college then. I don't know anyone who ever calls it university. Bit like no one in RL says that they are reading a subject (only on University Challenge!).

pictish · 05/11/2011 10:28

Well I dunno I'm in Edinburgh so maybe that's why.
Everyone says uni if they are indeed at uni.

mrsbaldwin · 05/11/2011 10:28

If I know there is an Oxbridge person nearby who I think is a bit up themselves (and if it comes up in conversation, obviously) I always say 'college' ie 'when you were at college' because I can see it grates on them. They kind of shift from bum cheek to bum cheek, you can see they feel like saying 'yes, it was Oxford University, thanks very much, I am very clever and important'. But they can't correct you (in polite company at least) because that will make them look elitist. And I have a good laugh to myself.

Anyway this is a roundabout way of saying, IMO there is a class thing about saying either 'university' or 'college' with the former being middle class and the latter more working class.

So, I don't think your mum is belittling your achievements OP, I just think you got more middle class by going on to higher education and have now spotted this whole class thing about the word. Could this be true?

ThatsNotMyBabyBelly · 05/11/2011 10:29

YANBU you are right to be proud.

If you want to piss them off, start raising the word at the end of every sentance. Then they will not be able to forget you are at Uni Grin

ThatsNotMyBabyBelly · 05/11/2011 10:30

Don't Oxford and Cambridge have colleges though? You may inadvertently be giving them an ego trip MrsBaldwin!

laptopdancer · 05/11/2011 10:35

I went to Uni in the 80's (and 90's and I bloody work in one in this millenium)
We called it Uni then .

mrsbaldwin · 05/11/2011 10:35

BabyBelly - in that situation I try and say the word 'college' in the same way as the OP's mum, so as it's clear I don't mean 'Corpus Christi college' or whatever Grin.

Actually, probably what the Oxbridge person I am deliberately trying to annoy is thinking is something like 'oh god not another redbrick with a chip on her shoulder' Grin

Towndon · 05/11/2011 10:35

YANBU. University is not a swear word :)

laptopdancer · 05/11/2011 10:36

I have to say if someone suggested I work in a college, Id quickly correct them as well.

wheredidyoulastseeit · 05/11/2011 10:39

Decades ago Univerisity was always college in conversation. Anyone remember the BBC TV series "Rock goes to College" where they got unknown groups like The Police to play at student venues

Schnarkle · 05/11/2011 10:39

Is there a real difference? I refer to university as college. Originally from ireland too so maybe that's it? My Dh has corrected me a couple of times but until now it's never occured to me why.

Whoops.

Original poster
movember · 05/11/2011 10:41

I honestly don't drop it into every conversation! the example with the kids dad - what else could I have said?

"can you look after the kids Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday?"

"why, what you doing?"

"ummm can't tell you, secret".

Why is it something to be ashamed of?

OP posts:
uniCorny · 05/11/2011 10:43

I always said college

laptopdancer · 05/11/2011 10:48

College always sounds american to me

Halbanoo · 05/11/2011 10:51

Or maybe your Mum is secretly American. They refer to university as "college" as well. Or hell, university can even be called "school" sometimes.

BeaOnSea · 05/11/2011 10:53

You are right to be very proud of your achievements.

Having said that, I don't know how old your mum is but I'm just happy if mine calls me by the right name Grin

troisgarcons · 05/11/2011 10:56

If I know there is an Oxbridge person nearby who I think is a bit up themselves (and if it comes up in conversation, obviously) I always say 'college' ie 'when you were at college' because I can see it grates on them.

Most people would just answer with Balliol or Corpus Christi Grin

Kladdkaka · 05/11/2011 11:01

Yep. My brother would say he did his degree at Brasenose College, NOT Oxford University.

GrendelsMum · 05/11/2011 11:02

DH always says 'when we were at college' if he mentions it at all. It drives his business partner nuts, and he corrects him every time to 'when we were at University'. They were both at Cambridge.

I agree that you should be very proud of your achievements, and I wouldn't worry too much about what your mum calls it. She'll realise when she goes to see you get your degree from the Vice-Chancellor dressed in a gown and mortar board, won't she?

msrisotto · 05/11/2011 11:02

YANBU My parents both did this constantly when I was at uni (unashamed!) and it really irritated me because neither me or my friends or anyone else called it college! It's university! What's wrong with calling it by it's proper name??!! [rage]

clam · 05/11/2011 11:08

Neighbours was first aired in the UK in the mid-80s. "Uni" has become rife since then.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 05/11/2011 11:11

I went to Uni and often referred to it as 'college'. How does a word belittle your achievement to get there? That's really daft. I think that if the word means that much to you, get a badge printed. You'll look like a crass muppet but nobody will be in any doubt that you, along with hundreds of thousands of others have been to U-N-I...

Stop being a plum, OP. Grin

Kladdkaka · 05/11/2011 11:15

Anyways, I thought university meant a collection of colleges. Confused

nbee84 · 05/11/2011 11:16

It used to rankle me if my parents said college when my dd was at uni - I was proud of the fact that she had worked hard and was doing a degree.

On the same kind of note I am a Nanny and it drives me nuts if I'm referred to as a 'babysitter'!