to be completely shocked and disgusted at the leaflet I've just been given by my mw???

[mummylovesnancy]

This leaflet, titled 'Raised BMI in Pregnancy' was passed on to me by my midwife at my booking in appointment yesterday. Along with the words 'You can't have a home birth, you probably won't deliver naturally and you'll be given consultant led care.'
I'm 28, I have 2 PERFECTLY healthy children who both have perfect height to weight ratios, eat well, are active and are generally normal children. I weigh 13st and I'm 5'2 which puts me in the 'obese' catagory according to the good ol' BMI index of wonder. I have been roughly this weight and exactly this height for all of my adult life. I am overweight, I accept that, but what I don't accept is being told to read this sodding leaflet which tells me, among various other little pearlers, that:
*I will have raised blood pressure. (Not 'I may', 'I WILL')
*I will be prone to urinary tract infections. (never had one in my life!)
*'Bigger Ladies' (exact wordage) get more blood clots. (Dumb Fuck)
*Examinations will be difficult. (Why? Because you have to part all my layers of fat to get to my vag?! How fucking degrading)
*I will have restricted mobilisation. (Will I? Because I don't now, will it automatically come with being fat and preggers?)
*Putting in a drip will be difficult. (yeah because my hands are so freaking chubby.)
*Breastfeeding will be challenging (I've managed it with two babies, now because you've changed your guidelines I think I might struggle.)
And my favourite one yet:
*The risk of stillbirth or your baby dying in the first 28 days is increased in 'larger ladies' (Thanks for that one, nhs, I just had a misscarriage 8 weeks ago. Was it because I'm fat?)

It also mentions on about 7 occasions that I may want an epidural. Is that to keep me quiet?! It also offers to refer me to a dietician and a counsellor.

I have been overweight (or a larger or bigger lady, as the nhs prefers) and given birth naturally twice with absolutely no complications and one of them was a home birth. I can't believe I have to read all this shit. The idiot who wrote this doesn't even know how to place an apostrophe or comma ffs!

Does anyone agree with me that this is a disgusting, degrading, scare mongering piece of shit or am I being an unreasonable pregnant wreck??

Maybe nature loves you people but I'm feeling most unloved - due to run my first 5K race tomorrow morning and Meteo France expects torrential rain. Thunder and lightning is rocking the skies as I type and there are severe weather earnings out for this entire region

Maybe I should dig into the bucket of ice cream in the freezer to get some Nature love.

Severe weather warnings! Fgs - this auto-correct is messing with my mojo.

Good luck, Cote! I ran my first 5k in 2008 when the weather was in the 80's....it was awful-I prayed for rain!

I agree sozzled I was really and at a lot of thunders posts and their responses.

Is it all over? Can I go to bed now?

All this self control and lack of enjoyment and idea that food shouldn't be a pleasure because poor Victorians didn't have access to decent food sounds hideous.

You can enjoy food, it is pleasurable and should be, but at the same time you can have self control.
I don't know, if you are obese, how you manage your DCs diet? Do you just let them eat the same as you and not notice, or bother, that they are overweight- or do you eat separately and feed them a different diet?

Esta

She'll be back, I'm sure; a dog with a bone that one.

(for any pedants out there I mean in the literal sense of not letting go)

eat what you like when you like and I don't know anybody else who says this.

You know two now, Soupy :)

I'm getting old and have CFS, therefore am fatter than I'd like and have got a horrid middle-aged tum. However, I've not gained any weight since the first few years of being ill - my appetite's reduced. For the 25 years in between fixing my EDs and developing this illness, I ate what I liked; my weight varied from 54kg to 70kg depending on my activity levels. I'm 173cm. I'm now about 85kg - but that hasn't changed in three years, despite leading a very inactive life.

WRT sweet flavours - I rarely add sugar. I eat plenty of sweets and puddings, though, and make a point of enjoying them. I found that guilt (which is a completely inappropriate emotion around food) made me wolf sweet things down, almost without tasting them. Once I learned to take my time over them and really taste them, the 'need' to scoff a kilo of chocolate disappeared. Well, almost. I do it sometimes; it's a warning that all is not well with me emotionally.

People might welcome a reminder that the sweet taste is our indicator for carbs - which are necessary for energy, including the energy to metabolise other foods. Humans need about 55% of the diet to be carbohydrates. If you are short of carbs, starchy foods like carrots and quinoa start to taste really sweet.

Sorry, slow post. Wil l atch up now ...

.. and catch up!

Exotic-my grown up DTS's were fed a similar diet-just smaller portions obv, growing up. My "vice" has mainly been an over indulgence of bread and general portion control, as opposed to scoffing a family size bar of choc-or a whole pack of Jaffa cakes in one sitting, so although there were on occasion, "treats" and sweet things in the house, those foods weren't part of their diet every day. I will admit, that sometimes when they weren't around, I would eat more.

Genetics also come into play. My boys build is similar to their father-wiry, and they were active/sporty (still are) which helped.
It's my daughter I am concerned about. Different father to my boys (although my DH is tall and has an athletic build) but I am terrified she will "inherit" the negatives from my hybrid Italian genes-a propensity to lay down fat-coupled with an unhealthy relationship with food, if I don't take control of my weight and eating habits once and for all.

delicious you sound very pro-active, caring and well-informed.

You will I'm sure do the best for your daughter.

Cote: when I were a lass, the French considered it very faux-pas to eat until you're bursting. Is it still the case? (I caused mass shock by mopping my plate with bread!)

You do sound nicely balanced, Delicious.

There's nothing wrong with "a propensity to lay down fat", as I'm sure you realise ... :)

delicious you sound very pro-active, caring and well-informed.

You will I'm sure do the best for your daughter.

This ^

My kids are all slim and fit.
We all eat more or less the same but sometimes my mobility is appalling so that and an underactive thyroid make it hard for me to be a perfect weight. I keep it from getting too out of hand though.

Can't stay away.

I'm 5 foot 8 size 12. Does that help Soupy? The sticking point seems to be that people don't seem to be able to grasp the idea that it's possible to have a relationship with food that doesn't rely on willpower or self-control, but can actually be based on nourishing your body and listening to what it needs or wants. it does mean letting go of the "I can't put on weight" BS though, and some women are too invested in that. Those that are still invested can stick to their small plates and their self control I suppose - and horror at the thought of eating a lot of jaffa cakes.

Maybe Cote didn't read I wrote in the first place - "Whole nations' diets are based on carbohydrates - Chinese, Italians, Indians, French for example - weirdly enough they've managed those diets for centuries without any issues around weight." But it's interesting to hear about modern French cuisine, she's very knoweldgable.

"I don't know, if you are obese, how you manage your DCs diet? Do you just let them eat the same as you and not notice, or bother, that they are overweight- or do you eat separately and feed them a different diet?"

I don't understand this question ExoticFruits, are you saying I'm obese? I'm not. If you're not saying that, which bit of "people need to eat a healthy diet and take exercise and stop focusing on weight " is too complicated to understand?

Just in case I'm not being clear by the way:

The focus on weight loss and size except in the most extreme cases, leads to crash dieting, poor food choices, weight gain in some cases (dieters regain their weight and then some), can lead to eating disorders (dieting can actually cause them), poor relationships to food seeing it as the enemy etc etc

A focus on healthy eating and exercise leads to good nutrition, a healthy relationship with food, good habits, and as a side effect, weight loss or weight maintenance.

Which looks better?

It's not a case of helping me thunder I'm just very interested in your views.

Do you think people who are much larger and have issues with food quite support your approach now, given that you clearly aren't in anyway too large or unacceptably fat to society?

My relationship with food doesn't rely on willpower, nor does that of most of my friends.

FWIW, couldn't eat a box of jaffa cakes, but if I eat one more roasted marshmallow (courtesy of my DS1 who was so proud to be the man of the house tonight and in charge of our tiny bonfire) I will feel (that's me abusing a smilie for my own purposes)

thunder I think most people realise by now that crash diets don't really work. We don't really need to be told that.

Soupy, you might not rely on willpower but it's being promoted all over this thread as the answer to being overweight. Including to Delicious who is having problems with food.

You're not interested in my views, you're interested in criticsing them, slight difference. Did you forget calling me a pseudo-scientist upthread? Why would you bother to ask someone who you think about in those sort of terms any questions whatsoever?

"Do you think people who are much larger and have issues with food quite support your approach now, given that you clearly aren't in anyway too large or unacceptably fat to society?"

I have no idea. Why don't you just ask them? That's probably the easiest way to get an answer to your question.

Argh!

And yet there is Delicious cutting out a whole food group and people supporting her.

Also people might know intellectually that crash diets don't work, but when people are obsessed with weight they will often try extreme things, probably telling themselves that's not what they are doing.

French Women Don't Get Fat got a mention upthread for example. That promotes eating cabbage soup for a day or two every time the haute couture gets a bit tight.

I've skimmed read the whole of this damn thread and I think I understand where Thunder is coming from.

Whilst I agree that obesity is a ticking timebomb in the NHS and can increase the risk of so many things, I also feel that even so called "healthy weight" women have an extremely dysfunctional relationship with food.

I am a prime example of this. I was borderline anorexic for my teens and early twenties ( but only a slightly reduced BMI), I then had bulimic tendancies for the next 10 years or so ( normal weight) and it's only in the last 10 years or so I have had a truly normal relationship with food. ( still normal weight) In fact, throughout all these differing mental states, my weight has been more or less static.

Now, I eat what I want but all my food choices are healthy as that is the food I prefer. I can, occasionally eat a large bar of chocolate or a packet of biscuits but I don't feel too guilty about it as I keep a sense of perspective about it. It's no more greedy than getting drunk which I no longer so as I can't stand the hangovers when my kids wake me at 6am!

I think the key messages to convey to ALL women ( not just obese ones) is to have a normal relationship with food and it is possible to achieve and still be a healthy weight. I think there are some normal weight women that may be kidding themselves that they are healthy as they may not be mentally healthy.

Does this make sense?

That's about it hips. I'm sorry you went through all that when you were younger. It must have been very difficult.

One question I'd like to ask people here, does everybody know how much they weigh? Do you all keep scales in the house and use them regularly?