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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

erm.. chocolate finger for 10 month old at nursery?

355 replies

DuelingFanjo · 31/10/2011 18:31

I didn't put anything on his form saying that I didn't want him to have cakes/biscuits/chocolate so maybe I am being unreasonable but I was a bit Shock to be told that the nursery had given DS a chocolate finger today. I said 'oh, really?' but now I am home I think that actually I am stupid for not saying something and now I feel annoyed with them and annoyed with myself.

What to do Sad? I have to say something. I was told that they feed the babies healthy food, no juice and so on so I thought they might know that chocoloate fingers for a baby that old is not normal? Or is it? Am I the weird one?

It's a good nursery, highly recommended and they haven't done anything I don't like before.

OP posts:
exoticfruits · 01/11/2011 19:05

My idea is that you want them to eat healthily for life and not just the very short baby stage. If a chocolate finger isn't healthy for a baby it isn't healthy for anyone. For those who say 'I am old enough to eat what I want' this is the message your baby or toddler gets-adults eat differently and it is better, therefore I will be able to eat what I like when I am older. Much better to have it in moderation-all of you.

Original poster
DuelingFanjo · 01/11/2011 19:43

I know I said I was worried about him becoming fat but it's the sugar content I worry about more. How much sugar is there in a chocolate finger? I don't know how many he had.

Anyway - the nursery say he ate well today and isn't just eating his puddings. The chocolate finger isn't a regular thing, just a halloween thing.

Exotic fruits, One chocolate finger for an adult is not the same as one chocolate finger for a baby. There's a huge size difference (between baby and adult) for a start, as well as a difference in digestion. You may as well say that there's no difference between giving a baby a cup of tea and an adult a cup of tea.

Why do they recommend not giving a baby cow's milk until a year old for example?

OP posts:
Moomim · 01/11/2011 19:58

I'm amazed at some of the BS on this thread, I really am. I wonder who'll try to convince me that because I don't eat wanky crap chocolate biscuits that I'm not getting a healthy balanced diet?

4madboys · 01/11/2011 20:13

exactly duellingfanjo not everything is suitable for a baby and at 10mth he IS a baby, i would class a process chocolate biscuit in the not suitable for a baby and not just a pfb, but any baby.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 01/11/2011 20:40

since when have chocolate biscuits been "wanky crap"?

Original poster
DuelingFanjo · 01/11/2011 20:49

306 posts and not one Biscuit c'mon, mumsnet!

OP posts:
fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 01/11/2011 20:51

would have been better if it was a chocolate one

Moominsarescary · 01/11/2011 20:59

I think whats worse than a chocolate finger is that at 10 months old you allready have thoughts about not wanting him to be fat

Moomim · 01/11/2011 21:01

Call me old fashioned, but I prefer my food to have, y'know' value as sustenance. Preferably more so than protein shakes or energy bars or whatever. Soul food is seriously underrated. Food should make you feel good, not just in an uppers and downers way. IMHO etc etc, you eat what you want.

Original poster
DuelingFanjo · 01/11/2011 22:49

reall, it's bad that I don't want my child to have weight problems? when I say fat I mean unhealthily fat. You know, like James Corden fat. You think it's bad that I would like to avoid that?

I want him to have a love of good food, to not over indulge. To not be at risk of heart disease and diabetes. I'd like to point him in the right direction at a young age because, as I keep repeating, I feel like my own parents did me a favour by giving a good healthy foundation.

It's not like I started a thread saying 'am I being unreasonable to not want my 10 month old to be fat'... I made the comment RE fat in response to a specific queston about unhealthy foodstuffs.

OP posts:
my2centsis · 02/11/2011 00:23

YABVU

MummyNic · 02/11/2011 00:55

YANBU, I would be shocked too. I'm with you on the "not until they are at least 1" before having any "naughty" treats. Obviously there'll be no harm but it's right to have common sense age limits for these types of foods. Christ, a mug of coke won't kill either but I'm damn sure none of us would give it to a 10 month old!! Wink
You should mention it, not in a formal complaint way, but just ask that they discuss in advance next time. Good luck and enjoy your LO Grin

MummyOfHnS · 02/11/2011 07:41

Re not wanting your child to become 'fat' - why on earth would you? It's certainly not because your image conscious, I would imagine it's more to do with wanting your child to be HEALTHY. Fat/overweight/obesity etc etc is extremely unhealthy. And it just so happens this country is full of people with these health issues. Perhaps it starts at the relaxed attitude at giving chocolate at 10 months old?

hairylights · 02/11/2011 07:59

"I think whats worse than a chocolate finger is that at 10 months old you allready have thoughts about not wanting him to be fat"

What a bloody ridiculous thing to say. A mum wants the best for her child.

I am 29 weeks pregnant. I don't want my child to be fat, a smoker, an alcoholic or to develop any other life limiting issues, because I want my child to live a healthy, balanced and happy life. Is that bad now ? Confused

nicknamenotinuse · 02/11/2011 08:10

I can't believe this 'chocolate finger' debate is still going on.

exoticfruits · 02/11/2011 08:15

I want him to have a love of good food, to not over indulge. To not be at risk of heart disease and diabetes. I'd like to point him in the right direction at a young age because, as I keep repeating, I feel like my own parents did me a favour by giving a good healthy foundation.

That is my point exactly, it is why I don't have a weight problem, my parents didn't and my DCs don't. The idea is to self regulate and although obviously a baby isn't in a position to do anything except take what is given and they generally seem unaware, they are taking in attitudes. I wouldn't want to label food as 'bad' even at that young age. At home I wouldn't offer it unless it was a birthday or similar, but I wouldn't fuss if they were given one when out as a very occasional thing. I certainly wouldn't make a thing about it in a year's time when they will understand they are missing something and it automatically becomes desirable.

Moominsarescary · 02/11/2011 09:26

How many children do you think suffer from eating disorders? How many of these children developed unhealthy eating habits due to their parents unhealthy obsessions with what they put in their mouths?

Its a shame you cant go to your nearest adolescent unit and find out just how many children develope eating disorders due to their parents obsessions with what they should/shouldn't be eating.

Occasional chocolate has never made anyone fat, it has never crossed my mind with any of my children that they may be fat if I don't worry every minute of the day what they are putting in their mouths. I may worry that they arnt eating enough veg or enough food even but I'd think i was pretty sad if I was looking at my 7 month old thinking right I'm not giving you that you might get fat or it will be unhealthy for you. No food is unhealthy in moderation.

bumbleymummy · 02/11/2011 10:23

A chocolate finger for a 10 month old - the age is the relevant part. Few people would object to an older child having an occasional chocolate finger. A 10 month old is not going to develop an eating disorder becau they weren't weaned onto chocolate. Don't be ridiculous.

Original poster
DuelingFanjo · 02/11/2011 11:13

Clearly if I am not giving him sweet treats then I am not labelling them as 'bad', he's just completely unaware they exist. Do you think that I line up the treats and say 'you're not having these because they are bad'? What has happened is that someone else has fed my child something I wouldn't have and my worry is that if they continue to do So then I will find myself in a position where I am having to label them as bad or deny my child. I prefer not to be put in that position.

It's definitely not as simplistic as looking at a baby and saying 'you can't have that, you'll get fat' and I am surprised anyone would read my posts in this thread and come to that conclusion.

To suggest that I am giving my son an eating disorder because I don't want him to eat chocolate yet is a bizzare thing.

I personally think there is no need at all for a baby to have chocolate. Other people disagree. I am still confused about exactly when a baby 'should' have chocolate buttons and how many but an awful lot of posters obviously believe it's ok from a certain point.

OP posts:
Clossaintjacques · 02/11/2011 11:30

I think YABU to have been so upset by this and that in itself is a bit worrying. A quick chat to the nursery staff about not giving chocolate in the near future would have been all that was needed.

By posting on here over 1 chocolate finger makes you seem a bit obsessive about food and perhaps that's why other posters have been talking about extreme food ideas and how that can impact on children.

I can understand why you don't feel the need to feed chocolate at home if he doesn't know what it is he won't it etc. However, if they have occasional treats at nursery then you are best to go with the flow or before long your DS will notice that he's not getting what everyone else gets. There's no right time but you could relax a little.

4madboys · 02/11/2011 11:40

duellingfanjo isnt being obsessive nor is she overly upset, she was just posting on here because thats what people do, to ask opinoins, have a vent and get a variety of views!! how on earth that makes her seem obsessive about food i dont know!

and her responses on here show that she is relaxeda nd she has already said she will just have a word with the nursery to say she doesnt want it to bea regular thing which is perfectly reasonable.

given some of the posts on this thread i think duellingfanjo has stayed remarkably calm tbh!

choceyes · 02/11/2011 11:44

I've seen posts on here about much less trivial stuff than feeding a chocolate finger to a 10 month old. Doesn't make the OP obsessive about food. She is just asking a question...it's a forum for that kind of thing isn't it??
She doesn't come across as upset at all, just rightly a bit concerened that her baby is being fed junk at her nursery when they said they provide healthy meals.

choceyes · 02/11/2011 11:45

xposted 4madboys!

zippadeedoodaa · 02/11/2011 11:51

I am very much of the " everything in moderation" school when it comes to food BUT I can understand what the OP feels here and I sympathise.

My husband took my 7 year old (at the time) for a kebab so celebrate the birth of DS3 Shock DS1 reassured me that it was ok because he'd eaten the salad as well Hmm I was furious because
A. a kebab is not an essential dietary requirement
B. I was hoping that we could have waited a bit longer (at least till he was 18 Grin) to discover the joys Hmm of eating such dross.
OP my DS has yet to discover the joys of Caroline Street!! but I suspect it won't be long Grin

ReshapeWhileDamp · 02/11/2011 11:57

DuellingFanjo, you're not being unreasonable, though I think you know it won't have harmed him. I would also be very Hmm at a good nursery doling out chocolatey biscuits or sweets to under 1s. There are loads of nice snacks they could have given them, after all. Choc fingers are junk food - more or less empty calories. As for it being a shame that a 10 mo baby not have a 'halloween treat' - what ten month baby needs or understands the point of a Halloween treat? Hmm

OP isn't being PFB or controlling, she's rightly concerned that inappropriate foods are being given out to babies in the nursery's care. Just because a single chocolate finger won't hurt a baby is no reason to think this is ok. It's the OP's choice not to let her baby have sweets and sweet biscuits as treats, and not down to the nursery to undermine that. And yes, now he knows what chocolate tastes like, and will recognise it again, that could make life a bit harder for her. It did for me, with DS1!

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