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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

erm.. chocolate finger for 10 month old at nursery?

355 replies

DuelingFanjo · 31/10/2011 18:31

I didn't put anything on his form saying that I didn't want him to have cakes/biscuits/chocolate so maybe I am being unreasonable but I was a bit Shock to be told that the nursery had given DS a chocolate finger today. I said 'oh, really?' but now I am home I think that actually I am stupid for not saying something and now I feel annoyed with them and annoyed with myself.

What to do Sad? I have to say something. I was told that they feed the babies healthy food, no juice and so on so I thought they might know that chocoloate fingers for a baby that old is not normal? Or is it? Am I the weird one?

It's a good nursery, highly recommended and they haven't done anything I don't like before.

OP posts:
JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar · 01/11/2011 11:53

I do remember the time he grabbed a toffee fudge icecream off of me though. I have never seen such pure joy. It was lovely, actually :)

Original poster
DuelingFanjo · 01/11/2011 11:56

if DS grabbed a chocolate biscuit off me I probably wouldn't fret. I suppose I am just miffed that the nursery thought it was a good idea to give him a (maybe several) chocolate finger. Clearly I am wrong to think that a nursery which says they give healthy snacks, would ... well... give healthy snacks!

OP posts:
JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar · 01/11/2011 12:02

I swear, his eyes kind of rolled and then he closed them, case any other stimuli impeded on his icecream bliss.

Other things he grabbed include mussels in their shells, venison (from a guest's fork at the table) and roast potatoes.

His table manners have improved over the past decade, I promise Grin

JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar · 01/11/2011 12:03

YANBU to have a word with nursery though, just to confirm.

Original poster
DuelingFanjo · 01/11/2011 12:08

What I am going to do is talk to the nursery about his current eating issues. He's not eating well and it has been worrying me. Last week the nursery told me he had stopped eating much there, yesterday they said 'he loves eating doesn't he' and then 'he's just had some chocolate fingers' ... my thought was 'well of course he'll scoff down chocolate covered biscuits!' and then I worried that they might be giving him extra snacks because he's not eating much of the other stuff.

Basically I want to nip that in the bud, he can have the odd treat but I don't want to mess up his eating at this early stage. plus I think the nursery should know better if that is the case.

OP posts:
prizewinningpig · 01/11/2011 12:14

Have a word with nursery. He will not be the only baby who is not to have sugary stuff.

I wanted to just comment on people using the term 'empty calories' in regard to babies. One of the biggest nutritional problems among babies and younger toddlers is very slow weight gain because parents give their children huge amounts of fruit and veg and whole grain bread, pasta etc. High calorie food is essential for babies. I would be equally worried if nursery were giving him whole pieces of fruit several times a day.

Also did he actually eat it? It's quite fun to give a kid that age a chocolate finger to watch them draw on the floor and stick it up their nose.

Original poster
DuelingFanjo · 01/11/2011 12:15

they made a comment about him 'loving to eat' so I am guessing he did eat it. and no wonder!

OP posts:
choceyes · 01/11/2011 12:19

yes high calorie food is essential, but not in the form of chocs and crisps surely? I give my DD avocado, oily fish and nut butters, these have good fats in them and highly nutrious too.

tralalala · 01/11/2011 12:26

yanbu - the obesity rates around here are shocking and it starts with the attitude that it's ok to feed babies shite they dont need now and again

SoupDragon · 01/11/2011 12:28

"the obesity rates around here are shocking and it starts with the attitude that it's ok to feed babies shite they dont need now and again"

no, it starts with ignorant fools who have no idea what balance is.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 01/11/2011 12:32

dF, you have been frothed by the Berserkers!

PerryCombover · 01/11/2011 12:33

childhood obesity is about a lot more than chocolate and sweets

there are plenty of fat lentilly kids out there
it's about a whole range of things

DF if you really think it's a big deal then speak to the nursery about it.

DeWe · 01/11/2011 12:34

Relax!

Dd1 didn't have chocolate until she was over a year old. Despite her managing to get given 8 large Easter eggs when she wasn't quite 6 months. Hmm (didn't eat any of it). For a treat I'd break a chocolate button into 4 and give it to her when she needed medicine at about 18 months. I don't think she had more than an occasional chocolate button until she was about 4yo.
She now has a collection of sweets, bought with her own money, in her room and would be the last to miss out on anything chocolatey.

Ds weaned on chocolate. Dd2 kindly gave him a chocolate button (or two) when he was 7 months. He was still ebf at that point. At a year he was given a whole PACKET of them at a party, and ate the lot.
But, even now at age 4yo, if you offer him the choice between chocolate and fruit or veg, he'll go for the fruit or veg. Carrots, particularly, but offer him a sprout or a packet of chocolate, he'll be straight at the sprout. He doesn't get praise, or comments for that, just his preference. can't take after me

Original poster
DuelingFanjo · 01/11/2011 12:37

balance is great. I think 10 months is too young for regular sugary stuff. Just an opinion but I really do.

Many people I know give their babies/children a main meal and then a pudding. We rarely have puddings in our family, it's never been the way we eat - only on special occassions. I do understand that some families have puddings with every main meal, we don't. So I have already compromised by putting my baby into a nursery setting where the babies have lunch with a pudding. Their puddings are healthy enough but as far as I knew didn't include chocolate fingers.

OP posts:
SpringHeeledJack · 01/11/2011 12:44

I thought ywbabitu when I read the op

on reading the thread I now think yabmostlyr

and kudos for not getting fucking furious and asking for the thread to be pulled Grin

choceyes · 01/11/2011 12:47

Dueling - my nursery doesn't do sugary puddings for under 2's. When my DS started at 10 months they were doing them and I told them not to give them to him. They were OK with that and gave him fruit instead. A few months later, all the under 2's were having fruit and yoghurt for pudding. I think they realised it wasn't a good idea giving them puddings everyday.

SpringHeeledJack · 01/11/2011 12:49

and- by the by- what the FUCK is this "aww, just a treat for Halloween" business?

has the world gone stark, staring mad?

the Big Chocolate Festivals are Christmas, easter, and birthdays - not halloween, mothers day, take your dad to work day, groundhog day, national squirrel week, International Workers' Day or thankcrunchieit'sfriday day

god! this country

mutter mutter

SpringHeeledJack · 01/11/2011 12:50

oops sorry

forgot to

MollyintheMoon · 01/11/2011 12:52

I suppose it all depends on what the adults think is a treat. I have a packet of kitkats in the cupboard but I'm far more tempted by the Brie in the fridge and have to ration myself with it.

My 4 yr old can have a kitkat if she wants but seems to prefer a yoghurt or fruit when given the option. Her current 'treat' is a spoonful of Philadelphia, she'd eat the whole pot if I let her.

I don't really like chocolate fingers so don't feel my 10 month is missing out by not having them. As parents we have to create good eating habits but it seems we pass on our own preferences anyway.

tralalala · 01/11/2011 12:55

soupdragon - I do agree, but it's part of it this attitude of 'anything goes'..

exoticfruits · 01/11/2011 13:38

Are you projecting your own concept of what is enjoyable onto your children? How damaging!

Not at all-in fact the opposite. Worrying about one chocolate finger is saying that you automatically assume they shouldn't have one because they will like it better!
We don't actually 'need' chocolate biscuits at all-there are lots of adults where you think 'you would bemuch better cutting it out!'

My idea is that you wean the baby (mother led!) to eat the family meals, which is everything in moderation. Meals are sociable,eating is a pleasurable experience. A balanced diet contains some sugar and fat. If DCs get used to the fact from the start that there are some foods you eat a lot of and some you have in small quantities then they treat it as the norm. Mine were just as likely to choose grapes or something similar over a chocolate finger-they had tasted it and the knew the choice. They are all slim and always have been. They don't buy sweets and crisps. They eat healthily away from home-it is what they were brought up with. I might not choose to give them chocolate at home but getting in a state about one small chocolate finger at nursery isn't worth a fuss. On a scale of 1-10 of worries it comes in at about 1 IMO.

The idea that if they don't get sugar before 2 yrs they won't have a sweet tooth is a complete myth. The ones that I know that crave sugar are those closely policed by mother who will let them sit watching other DCs eat things and not let them join in-that gives the dangerous message 'those DCs are getting something good and I want it'.

It isn't quite so bad if the mother sticks to it rigidly herself, but you are onto a loser if she eats chocolate and hands out carrot sticks. It is the example you set that counts-not what you say. The example of the whole family eating a balanced diet, and not freaking out over a small biscuit, is the one I would wish to set. (and definitely not I think that a biscuit is more enjoyable than a banana because I would prefer a banana any day)

JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar · 01/11/2011 13:44

Are you projecting your own concept of what is enjoyable onto your children? How damaging!

Oh I can answer that, too Grin

In a word - yes. I weaned mine onto good food so that now, on the brink of adolescence, he enjoys good food. I saw it as part of my job as his parent tbh.

WitchesBrewMakesItBetter · 01/11/2011 14:12

OP I hear you and whilst on reflection I think YABU I completely understand.

My baby was given birthday cake at not much over 6 months old when he was at nursery. I was pretty horrified as I'd barely started weaning him and posted here to see if I was being PFB. General consensus was no, I wasn't but actually it wouldn't do much harm. My point was, I wouldn't have dreamt of giving him cake so early. I had a good think about it, DH thought I was crazy to be worried about it so I ignored it. Then they did again a couple of weeks later and I realised of course, it will happen every time there is a birthday, no?

They do actually give them a "sugary pudding" most days for tea - but it's all home-cooked stuff like apricot sponge, oatmeal cookie etc i.e. reduced sugar to how you or I would bake. I decided to let it go, it does him no harm, he was bonny chubby when he started and he's still bonnychubby. What he doesn't do though, is scream at me for sponge pudding/birthday cake/carrot cake/oatmeal cookie when he's with me which is good because there's no way I'd dream of giving him biscuits, chocolate or cake just yet. In short, it isn't giving him ishoos, so I let it go. I had my opportunity to ask them to stop when I talked to them recently about his diet but decided to leave it at asking them to be more aware of how much they spoon feed him and let him do more self-feeding so he doesn't overeat as he is quite enthusiastic about eating :o. I don't see any real value in having him obviously eating something different to his friends - he would know because he can see it's different.

As always though - your baby, your choice, you won't be the first parent to specify a preference and you won't be the last.

Olivetti · 01/11/2011 14:19

Hi OP, sorry, went to bed early last night. You asked how I get DD to hoover up fruit and veg ( as well as eating the odd biscuit Grin). I'm afraid the answer is I don't really know! I just offer her a variety of things, and accept that, like us, she'll like some things and not like others. So, for example, she loves green veg but doesn't like cauliflower. That could change. I don;t bother with complicated recipes, largely cos I can't cook very well Grin, I just try to make sure she has plenty of fruit and veg, some meat and fish, dairy etc etc through the food groups. And yes, I do let her have a biscuit oif there's one going. Why not? Most of us would have one!

Original poster
DuelingFanjo · 01/11/2011 14:29

exoticfruits - so do you think that chocolate/cake etc should be introduced to a baby's diet at the point that you wean them i.e 4-6 months?

OP posts:
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