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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Grrrrrrrrrr bloody housing officer!!!

215 replies

holdenmcgroin1979 · 31/10/2011 15:08

Came round today saying i have two weeks to sort my front and back garden out and tidy it up or else! He knows i have been suffering with severe anxiety after having a bad miscariage last year and being pg again has made me a nervous wreck, the neighbours bloody cat has shit on the gravel in my front garden, wouldnt be so bad but he had the cheek to blame my moggies even thought he knows i keep them inside due to said neighbours cat attacking them everytime they are outside. I am expected to clear up fag butts that people have thrown over my hedge as well. My back garden isnt that bad to be honest it's just a few kids toys a bit of weeding and the grass that needs cutting but it's all stuff that involves heavy lifting or being in contact with soil which could have cat poo in it!! So cheesed off right now so this isn't so much an AIBU but a good old rant. Not expecting sympathy just wanted to get it off my chest!

OP posts:
oksonowwhat · 31/10/2011 19:29

I'm abit gobsmacked about what mess they are talking about?? I really am??

Yes, didn't mean to go over the top with my mentioning of the young mum, sorry about that. I was getting abit over protective i think!

gordyslovesheep · 31/10/2011 19:30

I am a single parent of 3 under 9's, work and have 2 cats and 3 guinea pigs - I own my home - and it's kept clean - the lawn is cut etc etc

I understand anxiaty but MAYBE being proactive, getting out in the garden, taking pride in your home etc would HELP your mental health rather than - well, to be blunt, playing the victim card

you aren't helping yourself - which is not very empowering

I understand feeling it all on top of you - but acting is better than wallowing chick xxx

usualsuspect · 31/10/2011 19:30

Swankyswishing

Fuck off

Floggingmolly · 31/10/2011 19:30

Nowadays social housing is seen as a privilege
Are you kidding? It is a privilege!!!

Serenitysutton · 31/10/2011 19:31

The only thing I would say is the busyness is a red herring. You do what you want with your time; you wouldn't be too busy to shower or eat or mumsnet, you are making time for them. They are a priority over the garden but that doesn't mean you simply never hav time; just that you're doing something else with that time. Just be honest with yourself and say I don't do my garden because it comes down lower in priority than the other things I chose to spend my 24 hours on. Everyone gets 24 hours.

*disclaimer you would need nowhere excpet mn- this excludes those with mental illness/ addictions/ learning difficulties who can not chose what they do with their time and/or can not cope with the life that someone without these afflictions live. I thank you very much.

woollyideas · 31/10/2011 19:36

Holden, don't let some of the judgier posters get you down. Do you have a friend or someone who could come and help you one day? That's how I dealt with my garden when it got a bit overwhelming. I have a good friend and we try to help each other out with big tasks like this. First, it helps to put a date in the diary for doing it; second, two pairs of hands makes the job easier and more bearable. If I didn't do this, I'd never decorate or tackle any of those jobs that just make me feel I can't cope!

Original poster
holdenmcgroin1979 · 31/10/2011 19:46

To be honest i didnt feel very privalidged when i was in tears at the coucil office practically begging for a way out of an abusive relationship, they said they had no houses and would i consider private rent which i said i would accept anything that got me out of the situation i was in i just wanted the help to get out. It wasnt untill they came and mesured all the rooms in the house i was part owner in did they realise just how bad my living condionts were. They offered me the house i am in now and told me if i didnt take it i wouldnt qualify for another house, i took this to meen ANY house not just a council one.

OP posts:
Peachy · 31/10/2011 19:49

Haha at kitchen and bathrooms done; sometimes yes. Grandad still has the one he moved in with in 1962. Minute an elderly man with deteriorating abilities said he wasn't sure about it (moving out for 6 weeks whilst it was done) they moved off sharpish. By the time Mum (his carer) phoned up too late.

Serenity she HAS MH diifficulties FFS! ou can;t realistically say that MH is one of few excuses to someone who seems to have quite severe MH issues.

DO i think of social housing as a priviledge? nope. If we need it we'll (from which you may take we don;t have a LA House and we are not on any lists either)have paid into it most of our lives, it will be the same as an insurance policy paying out.

But i don't think anyone is really talking about OP; in actual fact OP is in most of the recognised vulnerable groups- MH, single parent, carer with disabled kids.... this is people randomly venting their own issues about lack of gardens or someone getting something they don't have. In this case would you take what she has to live with- the disabilities for her children being one that might have got her extra points- if you'd willingly give those to your children you are a fuckwit; if not then well back off, I am sure there are actual bogeymen targets for your wrath you can find.

anyway Holden you mention homestart but I am wondering if you eman surestart- theya re easily confused (at one point my offficial hob tit;e was Home Start Sure Start Organiser- cheers for that boss! try explaining how THAT worked to a new family Wink). HomeStart often work in conjunction with surestart but are a separate entity- see here your MW or the SureTSart staff can refer.

gordyslovesheep · 31/10/2011 19:50

but it is still nice to have a house when many families live in one room in a B+B - or like me have to pay a mortgage .

usualsuspect · 31/10/2011 19:51

well let all the poor fuckers live in a cardboard box then

Serenitysutton · 31/10/2011 19:53

I wasn't talking about the OP. I was talking about all the other posters who work 25 hours a week, have 14 kids, doing a phd whilst training as a brain surgeon and hold Down a full time job as a hedge fund manager yet do/ do not keep their garden tidy (delete as applicable)

Original poster
holdenmcgroin1979 · 31/10/2011 19:57

Peachy it was Homestart, i have been involved with them since my eldest was a year old (now a strapping 12 year old)

OP posts:
AmazingBouncingFerret · 31/10/2011 20:09

Housing is not a fucking privilege. A roof over your head is not something you should feel lucky about. Gobsmacked that anyone would think so.

TheOriginalNutcracker · 31/10/2011 20:10

I do agree that social housing is a privilage, but the comment about free new kitchens and bathrooms is hilarious.

SansaLannister · 31/10/2011 20:12

I feel lucky it's a roof I can't get turfed out of every six months because the landlord is selling up, wants to move a relative back in, doesn't take kids, can't have pets, etc.

Yeah, I think it's a privilege and I treat it as such, taking time out to look after it best I can despite some issues mentally.

So I agree with gordylovesheep.

If the garden's too much to look after long-term than arrange a swap for a flat in the future.

SansaLannister · 31/10/2011 20:14

It really gets me down, too, to look out and see the fag packets and fag butts this person downstairs has chucked out the window. I already complained about her constant dance music and all-night parties and she grew violent so I didn't complain about this.

Original poster
holdenmcgroin1979 · 31/10/2011 20:16

I agree nutcracker, when i moved in the kitchen had been in since the sixties the worktops were down to the chipboard one cupboard didnt have a door to it and none of the draws had handles to them, it was only the fact i had family who was a kitchen fitter who fitted and instaled one he took out a house who had a new one fitted i got a new one,

OP posts:
SansaLannister · 31/10/2011 20:17

These places are usually a state when you move in. Ours still has bare wood floors 2 years later as we've not been able to save money for floor coverings because so much else needed doing.

But it's a privilege, IMO.

TheRealTillyMinto · 31/10/2011 20:18

OP you can either see having a garden as a good thing (& be able to take responsibility for it), or you can see getting rid of the hassle as a positive & swap for a flat.

what is not ok is to leave your garden a tip - because you will be stressing yuor neighbours. they cannot all be nasty....

Original poster
holdenmcgroin1979 · 31/10/2011 20:19

SansaLannister, unfortunatly owning a flat isnt an option in the town i live, the only flats here are single person ones.

OP posts:
usualsuspect · 31/10/2011 20:21

Living in Buckingham Palace is a privilege
Getting a bankers bonus and having a second holiday home in Cornwall is a privilege
Inheriting the Country pile is a privilege

when did people become jealous of council tenants?

nenevomito · 31/10/2011 20:25

When they read a bit too much Daily Mail, usual.

Original poster
holdenmcgroin1979 · 31/10/2011 20:26

i dont know usualsuspect but i didnt expect this much uproar just because i wanted a bit of a rant!!

OP posts:
Serenitysutton · 31/10/2011 20:26

It's a privilege to have a safety net, I feel lucky to live in a country that takes good care of those at the "bottom". Many countries have no provison at all for their nationals falling on hard times.

reelingintheyears · 31/10/2011 20:26

Beggars belief usual.
My family were council tenants and they all worked harder than anyone i know now.
Including me.
Grandma took in washing,ironing and lodgers,she worked at the local posh school in the kitchens and got no benefits.
And she brought up three DC after she was widowed young.

Without the council housing them they'd have been up shit creek.

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