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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be fed up of always feeling poor even though my husband earns above the national average?

323 replies

alwayspoor · 30/10/2011 22:45

I am a SAHM, live in east anglia. HOuse prices are massive, we have a house up north that we can't sell (need to be near London for DHs job) and a mortgage. We've got 3 dc's. Struggling to by decent food on top of all the bills.

OP posts:
loopylou6 · 30/10/2011 23:08

Op. have a Biscuitand feck off, there's a good girl.

zookeeper · 30/10/2011 23:08

What on earth is the matter with you all? the op's post is reasonable. Hope the house up north sells beforer two long

zookeeper · 30/10/2011 23:09

before too long!

CheeseyZitLover · 30/10/2011 23:09

24 k innit ? Chuff all by London standards

Original poster
alwayspoor · 30/10/2011 23:09

Anyhow off to bed, can't be bothered with the nasty snipers.Sad

OP posts:
Xmasbaby11 · 30/10/2011 23:09

I do hope you can rent out your house - best of luck to you. We were in a similar position with a house we couldn't sell. Thankfully we have been able to rent it out. The rent covers the mortgage on it, but then there is the upkeep and repairs. I can't imagine how we'll cope if the tenants move out.

We are lucky enough to live in a reasonable area in the North, and I think this makes a big difference; you don't feel poor in areas where the average wage is lower.

It sounds like your situation is hopefully temporary, so I hope it passes soon and you find a buyer.

worraliberty · 30/10/2011 23:10

My mate has just moved in with her DP and wants to rent her house out to cover the mortgage but she's been told she'll have to fork out over £2,000 to get it up to scratch and make it rentable.

There's no way she can find that sort of money for a long while and even if she does, there's no guarantee she'll get the rent she needs to cover the mortgage payments.

She can't sell either so she's stuffed for now.

Original poster
alwayspoor · 30/10/2011 23:10

loopy are you always such a bitch or is it hallow' eve making you a tit?

OP posts:
CheeseyZitLover · 30/10/2011 23:11

It's the witching hour I reckon......no need for it.

marriedinwhite · 30/10/2011 23:12

Actually, the OP and her family have left their home in the North because her DP has found work in the South. They have taken big big steps out of their comfort zone to ensure DP stays in paid work and to take care of their family. That can't have been easy and presumably they have also left their support network, ie, bf to have a moan to and family to have a moan to. I think you are doing a brilliant job OP and that life seems very unfair at the moment. I am really sorry for that and I hope things get better for you soon and that your older child is settling well into a new school, etc., etc..

Fixture · 30/10/2011 23:13

YABU, of course.

QuintessentialShadow · 30/10/2011 23:13

here ladies, you seem to be needing these.

loopylou6 · 30/10/2011 23:15

Actually, I'm sorry. I was q bitch then and there was no real need.

Sorry op, just stuff making me feel twatty. not your fault tho
< gets coat >

blackeyedsusan · 30/10/2011 23:16

if the average is £23k then.......

..........
.........
nope, still can't manage it.

£500 perweek, that is a lot if it is after tax.

AbbyAbsinthe · 30/10/2011 23:16

I'm not being a bitch. I just wanted the whole story! You can't start a thread mentioning your husbands earnings and then accuse me of being nosy when I ask that question...

I just think it's a little insensitive to start a thread like that when a lot of people have a lot less than that to live on. I know it's all relative of course.

Bakelitebelle · 30/10/2011 23:17

Do night shifts and eat chicken drumsticks

loopylou6 · 30/10/2011 23:17

< Gratefully grabs broomstick and polishes it >

TheFidgetySheep · 30/10/2011 23:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AbbyAbsinthe · 30/10/2011 23:17

I read something recently that gave that statistic for the average national wage, that's all.

stilldazed · 30/10/2011 23:19

get a job OP

Original poster
alwayspoor · 30/10/2011 23:20

ok still.... read the thread

OP posts:
CheeseyZitLover · 30/10/2011 23:22

She didn't mention his earnings [hconfused]
She didn't say oh woe is me, dh is only on 900k a week, we're skint, boo hoo.

He may only be on 24k a year which is sod all if paying London rent with bills AND a mortgage/ bills for an empty house.

She's entitled to a gripe, we have over £500 a week coming in for the four of us and a low mortgage, we're not rich by any stretch, don't even have a chuffin car. By choice tho I admit.

AbbyAbsinthe · 30/10/2011 23:22

How about a couple of evenings, in a bar or something? Is that doable?

QuintessentialShadow · 30/10/2011 23:22

There is always going to be somebody richer, or somebody poorer. Cant get away from that. We all need a moan, and some perspective. Cant ask people not to post because they appear to be richer than you!

We are in a similar situation. But I dont expect much sympathy, though. We are renting a house, own another house we dont live in, which we cant sell yet. It is tenanted, but over the last few years have been costing us more than any rent has brought in, so we are in minus. There is still mortgage to pay on it, insurance, and other costs such as recently having to rewire, redecorate due to vandalism, and what have you.

People cant get past you being a homeowner, and very often wont hear reason when it comes to the costs and responsibilities associated with home ownership.

The house we are renting cost more than the rent we get from our house, council tax is much more expensive here. Life costs. A great deal.

cantspel · 30/10/2011 23:22

I dont get the hostility here.

The op has up rooted and moved miles from her home just so her husband can work. She now finds herself stuck paying for a house she cant live in and also having to find the money to rent a house she needs to live in. Above national average wage is hardly rolling in it when you factor in london prices and that is before you take into account the mortgage on the northern home.

What should she do? Go back up north and sit on benefits for years as long as she doesn't come and have a vent of aibu?

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