to ask you if you are hairless down there??

[melzyR]

a drunk conversation on a girls night sparked the conversation of shaving down there.... i was very surprised to hear that out of 11 females only 3 still had hair down there.... Its not something i ever thought about before, and in the conversation i was 1 of the 3 that wasn't completely bare down there lol i am now the center of several hairy jokes, which doesn't bother me as they are quite funny... But anyway, as none of us no each other on here my question is are most people bare down there?

TBH, I don't think I could take the regularly pain that extensive waxing must mean (and this is from someone who refused most pain relief during childbirth!) I once had my eyebrows waxed and swore that was neever happening again to any part of me . If I was a porn star and my livelihood depended on people being to take close-ups of my private parts then perhaps I would be more motivated, but I can't see any other circumstances where anything other than a tidy-up is going to happen.

I think it may be an age thing. I am 39 and very few of my friends get rid of all their hair. And I am quite high maintenance when it come to general appearance/clothes etc.

I still think the most pertinent part of the OP is the behaviour of the friends who feel they can make jokes about the OP because she has made a different choice to them.
The hairy/not hairy debate is personal preference, and each person should be able to make that decision without being mocked for it.

Totally agree. Personal preference.

Those who do shouldn't be told they are doing so because they want to please men with strange tendencies and those who don't shouldn't be the subject of hairy jokes.

It's pubic hair. It's not political, it's personal.

Bugsy, I absolutely do believe that the whole clinker thing is common. I couldnt help but snigger tho!

Notyummy, I don't care that eyebrows and hairy legs are not the same as pubes in the sense of sexual maturity. I still don't want a full bush. And actually the hair on adults legs is different to a childs.

but giyadas, I think there is a bit of a hairy mocking culture. Don't we nationally have a bit of a laugh about the hairy Germans or French women who don't shave their armpits?

That's fine carmen - I too manicure . I just thought your comparison was flawed. The effect is different - one is for grooming purposes because a large number of people will see legs/eyebrows. The other (I assume) has more to do with sexual purposes because generally only sexual partners (or possibily people in gym changing rooms) are likely to see the end result.

We don't do it. I don't mock french womens armpits and I've never heard of 'hairy germans'. You might feel that you need to mock women that don't conform to your standards and in certain company it may be seen as acceptable, but that doesn't make it right.

notyummy, no one seems my bits, no fear there. I don't go swimming gym etc or get changed in front of anyone but my dp.

I obviously do wear a bikini on hol, but even if i didn't shave, the hair I have would be short enough to tuck in!

My dp does prefer it shaved, but I don't think he would be fussed if i had hair, though I don't think he like it totally overgrown!

YABU for asking. Why would you really want to know the topiery results of strangers' lady gardens?

In my extensive research (sex with a wide diversity of men!) I have never ever come across a man who was actually put off by pubic hair. Not one who lost interest, commented negatively, asked me to depilate or wax (except as a sexual activity in itself, and then happily restored). None have been anything other than enthusiastic about all types of sex, oral sex etc.

I have heard men say they prefer one way or the other, but I think there is a level of that being theoretical fantasy talk. In real life, I have never met ine who wasn't happy and enthusiastic when meeting the vulva in it's natural and normal state.

I have experimented with some trimming and shaving now and then, but natural is it's normal state.

It is personal AND political because however much you talk about personal choice women's hair is also part of the gender specific factors on which they can be and are judged, and intrinsic to a reaction to women's bodies in general.

Sorry giyadas, I wasn't for one moment suggesting that you personally mock anyone. I'm not into mocking people either for that matter - but unless I grew up in a completely different UK to the one everyone else did, I recall jokes about hairy Germans & unshaven French armpits - as though here in the UK we were somewhat superior because we knew what to do with a razor. It was against that background that I was suggesting that a culture of mocking female body hair does exist. I'm probably not explaining myself very well.

indie You just said pubic hair / no pubic hair makes no difference at all to men whatsoever.

Then you said women can and are judged on it and creates an intrinsic reaction to womens bodies in general

seems from that it must just be women judging other women. For a change.

Hear, hear Indie.

Yes, I agree with you Bugsy that there is a culture of mocking female body hair. I think it puts un-necessary pressure on women to conform which is wrong.
Sorry about the arsy tone, I misunderstood your point
Still haven't heard about hairy Germans though. Naked germans, yes.

I'm going grey gracefully, makes me look distinguished

shave it all off ? are you kidding? i have never even BOUGHT my own razor. Graduated from my mum's to DHs. I guess I must have bought something at uni but can't even remember.

I think DH is going to buy me my very own razor for our 15th wedding anniversay (I have run out of points on my boots advantage card.)

I've still got most of mine. I try to keep the undercarriage and the bits around the edges (bikini line I guess) relatively hair free - undercarriage to give clearer access during sex and related activities (after all nobody likes a pube in the mouth), bikini line for when I'm on holiday.

the rest is left mostly untouched other than a trim when it starts to look plaitable.

I agree with Bugsy2 in that left to my own devices I would definately not bother with hair removal.Can't be bothered and can be itchy and irritating when it's re-growing.

I'm not ashamed to admit that I bow to peer pressure.

Having read what I have on this thread I will be paying a little more attention to maintainance in future.It seems the middle ground is to keep tidy.I don't like the thought of other women at the swimming pool or medical professionals thinking I'm somehow a bit unclean whether rightly or wrongly....

What I can say is that it's definately not because I am under pressure from the opposite sex...

Ifancyashandy respect your honesty
LOL @ wookie

LOL at yoo hoo

clearly generational, my friend's a practice nurse and she says no one under thirty has any hair down there, it's fashion, it's porn you all know it.
Hygiene? Shymygiene!
You're brainwashed by a misogynistic culture! Deal!

CatGirl - yup!

I think many men do carry on a level of conversation and uphold some stock responses, which include jokes about vaginas smelling fishy, menstruation being revolting, hair being hairy, etc. And I can well believe that there are young teenage men who have come to know the vulva mainly thorugh porn and are shocked to see hair. But women are very quick to take this vision of themselves on, and judge themselves and other women. MN is full of threads of auto-revulsion, whether it be about menstration or worries about the effects of childbirth (the 'wizards sleeve' phenomenum is another myth - in normal healing the muscles of the vagina regain thier original firmness very quickly.

That programme about vaginas and surgery was very interesting - she talked to some men at the end and they all said that amongst a variety of vulvas and vaginas they encountered they enjoyed them all.

"it's porn you all know it."

You're brainwashed by a misogynistic culture!

Of course. Because women are weak-minded and stupid and men have great power over our poor tiny, malleable minds. Which is what you are essentially saying....

I don't think so.

If you are happy and completely comfortable with letting the hair grow back and keeping it that way for a while and letting your partner see it like that - then I think you are exercising a personal choice.

Anything that makes you completely uncomfortable with something natural about your body is a societally induced feeling - we are all susceptible to societal brainwashing - it's the norms, values and expectations we get given over time - they're not all positive and sometimes need to be challenged.

I hate having unshaven legs but I know that's because I've taken on board some of the cultural dos and do nots of western society rather than it's a purely 'personal choice' and that it feels nicer. (Although it does feel nicer my DH doesn't seem to care either way).

So neeerrrrrrrrrr

OP? OoooooooooooooPeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee......?!! Where are yooooooooo?

Well, individual women might not pin their decision to go hairless on porn culture, but you cannot deny the influence.

Otherwise I assume you're wearing a whale-bone corset and hoop-skirt instead of skinny jeans?

We're influenced by fashion and trends in every walk of life - to deny that is madness. Fashion in turn is influenced by a myriad different quarters - porn, which has gone into orbit since the arrival of the Internet, is one of them.

And as for pubic hair not being political - [hgrin] Ha! Every long and tedious thread on here just proves it is.