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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to ask you if you are hairless down there??

327 replies

melzyR · 26/10/2011 01:44

a drunk conversation on a girls night sparked the conversation of shaving down there.... i was very surprised to hear that out of 11 females only 3 still had hair down there.... Its not something i ever thought about before, and in the conversation i was 1 of the 3 that wasn't completely bare down there lol i am now the center of several hairy jokes, which doesn't bother me as they are quite funny... But anyway, as none of us no each other on here my question is are most people bare down there?

OP posts:

catgirl1976 · 26/10/2011 13:44

My fanjo is a thing of great beauty :) All that hair hides it away and I like to show it off to best effect.

Also - like a lot of women who shave / wax I don't go totally hairless - I leave a strip at the front. And I have 36D breasts and a figure like Jessica Rabbit.

I think if you saw me naked, you would be hard pressed to think I looked like a little girl, even if I do shave my bits. :)

I don't think I am being negative about myself

worraliberty · 26/10/2011 13:45

Oh and if the OP is a perv, why are we assuming they're a male perv?

Could just as easily be a woman getting all wet and sticky at the replies.

AKissIsNotAContract · 26/10/2011 13:46

MrsStephenFry: If women have hairy bumcracks they can get clinkers, and heavy periods with a big bush can lead to lovely bloodclots in said bush. Those things can be considered yucky, so if they prefer to remove the hair so what? The only way around it would be to have those little hose things you get abroad so you can hose yourself down after a shit/sanitary towel change.

bibbitybobbitybloodyaxe · 26/10/2011 13:46

Well if op is a perv he is going to love catgirl's latest post!

MillyR · 26/10/2011 13:46

I think the issue is not that people who say that pubic hair is disgusting are offending others. I think the issue is that this refers to themselves, because they are seeing something that grows out of their own body as disgusting.

That is a rather different mentality to people who remove their hair because it is simply a mild preference.

MrsStephenFry · 26/10/2011 13:49

Prepared for what? Feminists everywhere sighing at the sheer scale of the persuasion?

You dont think there is something wrong with women who openly state that their own natural body hair makes them cringe or feel ill? Shame on you if so.

Bugsy2 · 26/10/2011 13:50

Am I the only weird freak who has stretch marks on her pubis? I must have had very low bumps, because although I don't have many stretch marks, they start from my pubic bone. I therefore retain a small triange shaped runway thing to cover them up. Bought a very funny book for a BF about Minge Topiary once. Tried a few different shapes, but always end up back at a triangle. I wax all the bits I can tolerate & shave the rest. I did once have a very, very bad experience with a pot of warm wax & trying to wax my butt crack ...... Need wincing, eye watering, teeth gritting emoticon!

ouryve · 26/10/2011 13:50

Hairy and proud! Hate the plucked chicken look.

MrsOzz · 26/10/2011 13:51

It's not a new thing though, and it's not just porn that has made it popular.

Paul Rubens painted in the 1600s and his ladies were always shaved (and definitely women as they have full on curves and breasts etc) so it has been seen as desirable for a long time, by both men and women.

catgirl1976 · 26/10/2011 13:54

I do hate this idea that if a woman makes a choice that doesn't agree with a certain type of "feminism" then the woman has ONLY made that choice because she has been influenced / persuaded by male culture/ preference or society.

The idea that a woman cannot possibly decide of her own free will and without persuasion that SHE likes to remove her pubic hair for her OWN reasons is one I find very patronising and disempowering.

What women chose to do with their own bodies is up to them, why are some people unable to accept that and feel they have the right to a) pass comment and b) judge that it isn't even their own free choice?

MrsOzz · 26/10/2011 13:56

Yes Catgirl!

AND what is so wrong about wanting to do something to please your much loved significant other. IF that is why the woman CHOSE to do it?

MrsStephenFry · 26/10/2011 13:58

Thats not the issue though. Its not about choice, its about disgust. Are you telling me these women have decided to be disgusted with their own bodies entirely of their own free will and its a valid feminist choice?
Come on!

MillyR · 26/10/2011 13:58

Catgirl, are you not the poster who mentioned a midwife being negative about women with pubic hair? That is rather an extreme thing to say on a forum which pregnant women read. So I think your last post about judginess is a bit hypocritical.

Of course part of our choices is about the society we grow up in. That is true of both people who remove and people who don't. Do you really think it is a massive coincidence that there is a generational difference over this choice?

catgirl1976 · 26/10/2011 14:00

I honestly don't care what other people do with thiers....they can grow a full bush, plait it into corn rows or dye it bright pink. I don't mind at all.

I do mind people telling me I can't make a descion about such a simple thing on my own and have been "brain washed" because I am a woman. It gets right on my nerves and suggests a very low opinion of women IMO.

MrsVoltar · 26/10/2011 14:01

No, do tidy but only for 'bikini' or swimming reasons.

Would assume that those who do go hairless for reasons of hygiene expect the same from their partners?

Think the issue for me is excessive grooming for women seems to be a bit OTT at the moment, why for women & not for men?

Are we so naturally hideous?

catgirl1976 · 26/10/2011 14:03

MrsS - I am not disgusted with my body

and Milly - someone asked me why I thought a MW might make a judgement on my fanjo - I simply answered the question.

I don't think its an extreme thing to say - Health Care professionals make judgements all the time - some probably find women who wax / shave very odd. Everyone judges, doctors, nurses, midwives, chiropodists - its human nature.

They just (hopefully and thankfully) have the professionalism not to let on.

Bugsy2 · 26/10/2011 14:03

Left to my own devices, I wouldn't wax & shave. If no one cared if all women's minges frothed out of the sides of their swimsuits, would we all really be going to the lengths that we do to remove it? We are influenced by those around us, and whilst I wouldn't say I was brainwashed - I am certainly persuaded that not being au naturel is more acceptable than having hairy pits, legs & nether regions.

MrBloomsNursery · 26/10/2011 14:04

Something one of those beauticians mentioned on Gok's How to Look Good Naked: If you want to know how well a woman's nether regions are kept, then just look at her eyebrows. Untidy, unkempt eyebrows = hairy front bom bom.

I would just like to say that I get my eyebrows threaded every 2 months and pluck and maintain inbetween. .

worraliberty · 26/10/2011 14:04

Think the issue for me is excessive grooming for women seems to be a bit OTT at the moment, why for women & not for men?

A lot of younger men shave themselves down below....they also trim their armpit hairs and shave their chests much of the time.

I really don't think it's a male/female thing...I think it's just a personal choice and none of anyone else's business.

worraliberty · 26/10/2011 14:07

And for anyone who thinks women who shave are somehow disgusted with their own body hair....do you shave your legs/pluck your eyebrows/dye grey roots/pluck stray hairs from your chin?

If the answer to any of the above is 'yes', then you too would be 'disgusted' with your own body hair...no?

MrsOzz · 26/10/2011 14:07

I do expect my DH to keep himself tidy, especially if he would like me to 'head south.'

Personally, I can think of nothing worse than getting a faceful/mouthful of scratchy pubes whilst I am down there. And it can only be worse for men considering how in-their-face a woman's pubes are!

I also don't particularly enjoy snogging him when he hasn't shaved for a few days (it hurts my face), surely this is the same thing?!

I enjoy his face when it is nice and smooth and hair free. Is that wrong too? Are all men that shave their face digusted by it? Brainwashed by society into shaving too?

MillyR · 26/10/2011 14:07

Catgirl, yes, but the tone of the posts (not just yours) does start to take on a playground teasing tone of, "Oh, I think your new coat is really nice, but everyone else we know is laughing at you."

Of course people will mock each other privately about all manner of things, and health professionals are only human. But I don't think there is a need to single out one choice and make an example of it on MN.

hwjm1945 · 26/10/2011 14:08

I am 44 and I have just started waxing a bit higher than bikini, i must say, it does feel nice. But can't see ever going for full brazilian, aminly cos i personally feel it looks a bit odd, but that is prob because i have had pubes for 30 years now and am fully used to it, i also think it is a bit of an age thing, with women unde r35 being more likely to remove hair etc, mainly cos brazilians etc are now on offer, whereas I am sure they wer not when I was younger

aldiwhore · 26/10/2011 14:08

Hairy or bald has never been an issue with me, its just what it is, hairy or bald, its a preference. Just like knowing what hairstyle you like on your own head, you know what hairstyle you like on your pubic area.

A bald fanny on a 37 year old woman is NOT about trying to look like a young pre-pubescent girl I can assure you, speaking as a 37 year old woman who looks 37 and still looks 37 when bald down below.

A hairy fanny on a 37 year old woman is not digusting either, and doesn't contain winnets, blood clots or my husbands last meal, speaking as a 37 year old woman who goes hairy now and then.

Talk about storm in a tea cup! Both those for and against baldiness/hairiness have said some rather odd things on here today!

MrsOzz · 26/10/2011 14:09

And no one complains men are trying to make themselves 'look like little boys' when they shave their beard!

Not iffy at all. So why all the iffy, little girl, comments about women who choose to shave?

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