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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to want DP to have a wedding ring?

127 replies

fallawaydaisy · 25/10/2011 19:42

me and DP are getting married in a few short weeks.
Except I have just found out that he doesn't want to wear a ring.
At all.

AIBU to feel a bit put out and upset that he doesn't want to wear one?

OP posts:
alarkaspree · 25/10/2011 19:44

Yes, a bit. My dh doesn't wear any jewellery, not even a watch, so he didn't want to wear a wedding ring. My dad doesn't wear a wedding ring either. I don't think it's a reflection on their commitment.

IneedAbetterNickname · 25/10/2011 19:45

Have you asked him why he doesn't want to wear one?

NatashaBee · 25/10/2011 19:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ZuleikaJambiere · 25/10/2011 19:48

My Dad doesn't have a wedding ring, and I didn't even realise men could have one until I was about 20 Confused

DH doesn't have one, mainly because he loses everything and I would have been more upset had he got one and lost it than not having one at all. Instead I bought him a watch, as a wedding gift, which he wears on special occasions

ReindeerBollocks · 25/10/2011 19:48

DH wanted to wear a ring. He lost it within three weeks of the wedding and now takes off the replacement on a regular basis due to not wearing rings regularly.

I would have a conversation with him about why he doesn't want to wear it, but it doesn't make his commitment to you lesser in any way.

ReindeerBollocks · 25/10/2011 19:49

Zuleika - is my DH related to yours? Grin

QuietNinjaZombie · 25/10/2011 19:51

Yanbu. Dh never wore jewellery but he wears amwedding ring. He's just got used to it. I don't understand why he wouldn't want one, surely it's a sign of your commitment? Oh I dunno I'd have been upset if dh hadn't wanted to wear one. But I suppose it is a choice at the end of the day.

usualsuspect · 25/10/2011 19:53

YABU

NinkyNonker · 25/10/2011 19:57

Don't know really. DH wears no jewellery just a watch, so I expected that he wouldn't want one. He was horrified and insisted he did, so he went for a very plain titanium one to match his watch, he never takes it off.

I don't know if I'd have been disappointed if he didn't want one, I might have been a little but I think I'd have got over it pretty quickly.

afishcalledmummy · 25/10/2011 19:58

YABU (from my perspective) - the ring isn't really that important, the vows are.

That said, if it's important to you, tell him! If your DP knew how important it was to you he might reconsider. My DSis threatened to go double barrelled if her DH didn't wear a ring - she now has his surname and he wears a ring. I wasn't that bothered, but DH wanted to wear one. I think that the ring isn't that important but to some people it is more so.

bagelmonkey · 25/10/2011 19:58

I've heard that some women are more attracted to a man wearing a wedding ring than not wearing one. Maybe because it proves he's worth having? So as a symbol of him being 'taken' it could work against you.

I insisted DH get a wedding ring so he would have to get rid of the awful, ugly 'family ring' his parents had given him.

squeakyfreakytoy · 25/10/2011 19:59

My husband only wears his ring when we go out somewhere dressed up.. he doesnt really like jewellery, and his job means wearing a ring is not possible due to health and safety.

itspeanutbutterjellytime · 25/10/2011 19:59

YANBU I'd have been really upset if DH hadn't have wanted to wear a wedding ring; it's a visual, outward symbol of our commitment together.

TadlowDogIncident · 25/10/2011 19:59

YABU if he doesn't mind whether you wear one or not. YANBU if he expects you to wear one but won't have one himself.

DH and I both wear them - I wouldn't have done if he hadn't. Sauce for the gander and all that.

LordOfTheFlies · 25/10/2011 20:00

My DH didn't want a wedding ring as he was scared I'd get a fancy girly one and we were having matching ones. He was ok when I chose a 5mm court band and he got a 7mm one.

His choice was to wear it on his finger or through his nose [hgrin]

itspeanutbutterjellytime · 25/10/2011 20:02

lordoftheflies [hgrin]

ladyintheradiator · 25/10/2011 20:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NinkyNonker · 25/10/2011 20:04

DH does take his off when he goes sailing, he normally remembers to put it back on though!

TheOriginalFAB · 25/10/2011 20:07

Of course YANBU to want him to wear a ring but I find it odd that you only know that now when you are due to marry him in a week.

My dh only ever wore a watch but wanted a wedding ring and wears it all the time. He lost it once when it fell off in the freezer due to being too big. All sorted now and I love seeing it on his finger.

allibaba · 25/10/2011 20:07

Surely you would have discussed this before now? Or is this a "Don't tell the bride" sceanrio??

My DF doesn't wear a wedding ring but thats becuase he's a farmer and if it got cuaght in machinery could rip off his finger. My DH wears one but always wanted to. I have a distant friend whose husband doesn't wear one, refused to, and his wife accepted it. However he cheats on her behind her back and a ring would get in the way. However she also accepted that she would happen and turns a blind eye as he's well paid and they live in a big house.

It takes all sorts!!

TheOriginalFAB · 25/10/2011 20:08

in a few weeks....

blueshoes · 25/10/2011 20:09

I have often wondered why some men who I know are married do not wear their wedding rings. I have always assumed it is because they want to be available for flings.

kelly2000 · 25/10/2011 20:10

Does he expect you to wear a wedding ring. If he assumed you would wear a ring, but thinks he should not wear one he is an arse.

exoticfruits · 25/10/2011 20:27

I agree with kelly. Does he want you to wear a ring or is he not bothered?

Original poster
fallawaydaisy · 25/10/2011 20:28

Well he asked me what metal 'I' was getting for my ring so I going to assume that is assuming that I would wear one

and not really alli we are being kind of being a bit chaotic about this whole wedding thing, wearing a ring has never come up in all honesty.

OP posts: