about SIL and DS1's Bris (circumcision) ?

[imlikeaironingboard]

I'm Jewish (Liberal) and DH counts himself as secular Jewish (as does all of his family).
His DBro (my BIL) married out - not a 'big' thing with them due to the whole non practicing/secular thing.

I'm due to give birth to DS1 (DC2) in a week.

They do not have children and it is only DH and BIL as siblings. our DC1 is a DD.

Both DH and BIL are circumcised.

She told us tonight that she would not be coming to DS1 Bris. The idea of doing that 'disgusts' her.

AIBU to be really upset and to think that she should have realised that marrying into a jewish family secular or not would mean that these sort of things would happen?

This has really really upset me - I have never got a hint of her feeling like this before.

Like I've said before, there is no blood/knives/pain. They put a ring under the foreskin and tie the foreskin with thread so it falls off within a week

Stop trying to make it out to be a blood bath

Simply not true - there was plenty of blood involved in my son's medical circumcision, it is not just putting a ring on the penis. I would suggest to anyone who is genuinely interested that they google the procedure. Although it was a 10 min op and only day surgery the 5 weeks post op after care where my son had 2 visits to A and E due to infection and we couldn't leave to house for FIVE WEEKS as it was too painful to pee unless he did it in the bath, was horrendous

Imagine someone slicing into your clitoris, making you wear a ring for up to 10 days and saying "oh but it's a simple operation!"

There seems to be a recurring theme in religion; to hurt children.

Circumcision in the name of religion is on par with the sexual abuse meted out by vast swathes of the Catholic church.

I agree with the majority on here regarding circumcision, especially comaring it to dog tail docking. Female genital mutilation is illegal here I believe, no different for males, unless it's for medical purposes. To entrust what is a medical proceedure in the hands of someone who is not a qualied doctor, with no anaesthetic in a non clinical environment . there is so much hysteria on here, I cannot believe some posters reactions to the op. Not wanting to breath the same air or be on the same planet as hose who hav circumsised their child, comparing it to child a abuse!

Take religion away piglet and what do you have?

If the thought of chopping bits unnecessarily off babies doesn't affect you then you must be made of stone.

But yes it is an unessary proceedure unless done on medical grounds, god made us in his perfect image, if he intended boys not to have a doeskin they would not be born with them.

I'm feeling rather affronted by "God made us all in his perfect image". What on earth does that even mean?

If this was the Church of Scientology doing this and noone else we'd all be getting it banned.Circumcision at puberty, as practised by many Muslim communities, would be the most immediately effective intervention for reducing HIV transmission since it would be done before young men are likely to become sexually active.

Well God must have an extremely tight foreskin then

I would decline to be a part of this as well, and I think your SIL is right to tell you it disgusts her. Why should you be exempt from disapproval because of your religion? If you were having a ceremony that did not mutilate your child then I'm sure she would attend regardless of her feelings about your religion. I have no objection to other people's beliefs as long as they do not hurt others. I believe that the circumcision is cruel and unnecessary and until Jewish women stand up and say that you will not do this to our sons any longer nothing will change.
My cousin had her son circumcised and while I never expressed myself quite as forcefully as your SIL, she knew that I would NEVER do that to my baby son, and why. It didn't change our relationship.

Sharrie - so now asking someone a question more than once and being a bit sarcastic is now nastier than calling someone a child abuser.

Do you know what? Report my post, I know you said you wouldnt, but if its as nasty as you say then maybe MNHQ should be alerted to it?

In the meantime I'll repost it incase OP comes back but without the sheer nastiness () that might have possibly warranted it being reported above any others on here :

OP, please can you answer my question yesterday (and that many many others have asked since but you seem to have dodged)why FGM digsust you yet you are going to allow the male equivalent happen to your newborn son?

Thanks in advance

Erm I am a woman I don't have one.

Oh dear God...still the hysteria and stupidity goes on.

valium How old was your son when he had the circumcision? How come, my FOUR nephews have had circumcisions, and didn't suffer any long term pain or cry or got infections when they were babies? Urine is a natural healer, and heals the skin quickly. How many men/boys are there in my family? Countless. Never have I heard that the circumcision left them with infections and pain. It's been done in a day, and the next day the baby is fine again.

Isn´t the point more that these males should be given the choice?

I´m sure many babies/young boys have no complications--but why does that make it acceptable?

You can therefore you should?

It's what Christians believe that he made us how we are. The atheists of course don't believe in god but as a Christian I do nothing wrong with that, we are all entitled to our personal beliefs.

MBN - granted he was older BUT the urologists (sp) at A and E said it is extremely common to get infections afterwards, in the same way it's common to have infections after being stitched if you are cut while giving birth.

Urine is acid , it may well be a healer but peeing through a cut is agony.

Posies did I misunderstand you btw

But I know loads of my baby cousins/nephews/sons of friends who have been circumcised and have had no problem healing.

I tore whilst giving birth, and got a mild infection 3 days later. My sister tore whilst giving birth and never got an infection.

Different people, different experiences, different thoughts and views.

Like I've said much earlier on - I abhor the fact that some women think its okay to drink alcohol whilst pregnant or breastfeeding, but that's their choice and they do it knowing the pros and cons.

Even if it doesn't cause infection or any pain after, which it does, a new born baby just can't tell you there in pain. Does it justify the pain they well feel when they have it done? Even if it's for just 10 seconds because of course it bloody hurts at the time.

My son had pain on and off for weeks not to mention how much it itches while it is healing

"but that's their choice"

Exactly-where is the choice for the baby?

MrBlooms, again anecdotal evidence does not proof that circumcision never has any complications in later life.

I think we can safely presume you're not familiar with all penises of people in your environment so you don't know if there are any current complications, many complications only appear in adult life due to erections.

That should read MrBlooms, again anecdotal evidence does not prove

MrBloomsNursery your sample size and group does not constitute data. My Grandpa smoked until he died peacefully at 90, so did a few of his cronies yet smoking is still a damaging thing to do.