Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

my 14 year old daughter shouldnt be shown 'The human Centipede' on sleepover

233 replies

tropicalfish · 23/10/2011 20:24

My dd went for sleepover at 13 year olds friends house and as a film to watch was shown the human centipede. Apparently downloaded.
What would you do?
Would you let your own dd for go for sleepover at their house again?
I am very annoyed about this.

OP posts:
monstermissy · 23/10/2011 20:43

YADNBU

My son is 14 and lots of his friends have seen it, i also accept that yes, they will watch horror films on sleepovers etc but this sort of film is beyond a horror film imo. I have seen clips of it and have no desire to watch it. I wouldnt let them sleep there again as there is obviously very little parental supervision and if there is its not the sort of guidence i would want around my son.

I have barred my son from sleeping at a friends house whose mother let them have free rein over the drinks cupboard. My son spent most of the night holding hair whilst the girls where sick. I hope its put him off for a while.

TheBestWitch · 23/10/2011 20:45

I think you need to speak to the parents. If it is lack of supervision they need to be aware so they are more vigilant in future. If they really did think it was appropriate then I wouldn't send your dd there again.

TeamDamon · 23/10/2011 20:48

The very thought of this film makes me feel sick - I have never seen it and having read a brief summary of what it is about would never want to. It makes me sad that we live in such a disturbed world that some people are relaxed about a teenager having those kind of sick images in their head. I would be furious and no - would not let my DC go there again for a sleepover.

YANBU. In any way.

Original poster
tropicalfish · 23/10/2011 20:50

I am told it had been previously downloaded.
I am guessing either their dd must have their pin number or parents downloaded it.

I called up the mum the night before as dd was going there straight from school. Just as a courtesy, I appreciate they are not at primary anymore. The mum told me she would be there the whole time.

My dds impression of the film well ..' not very believable.."
Shes not upset.

My fear is, ok, this time not very believable horror film but what happens on the next sleepover?

OP posts:
MarthasHarbour · 23/10/2011 20:50

i have just read the wikipedia explanation of it, even the description is disturbing. i am 38 and i wouldnt watch it.

YADNBU - i would be having serious words with the parents.

mrsshears · 23/10/2011 20:50

I'm a bit Hmm that lots of posters think this is a lack of supervision issue whilst i would be far from happy with my own dd watching this as i posted earlier it only takes 1 child to smuggle in something unsuitable to watch when the parents are asleep.
Of course if the parents were aware that put a whole different spin on it.

Original poster
tropicalfish · 23/10/2011 20:55

perhaps warning bells should have rung when dd went round on fri evening and mum announced she was going out boozing with her mates and told kids not to wait up.
(Am I being unnecessarily judgemental?)

OP posts:
ScarahStratton · 23/10/2011 20:57

But it is lack of supervision imo. I would know if DD and her friends were watching a DVD.

mrsshears · 23/10/2011 21:01

scarahstratton what about in the middle of the night when your asleep?
when dd has sleepovers they stay awake talking until the early hours which if they are quiet i dont mind,its part of the fun for them,they could easily watch dvds too,i just have to trust them to be responsible.

Cheeptrickortreat · 23/10/2011 21:03

I would not let my child go for a sleepover there again smiply as i could not trust the other mother to look after my child responsibily.

In fact i would be calling her up and shouting at her lack of judgement and her lack of supporvison of the children in her care.

Its not acceptable - i would be really angry about it.

ScarahStratton · 23/10/2011 21:06

I don't go to sleep until I know they are. A bit older and I have to trust them, but at 14 DD still has friends who are pretty immature. It's those friends, combined with peer pressure, that I don't trust. Therefore, I stay awake. In bed reading, but awake until all the yapping and giggling has stopped.

Cheeptrickortreat · 23/10/2011 21:06

OP - after your last post, if it was me i would be going round to the house and picking the kids up and bringing them all to my house for the sleepover as i could then garentee adult supervision at all times.

YouHaveToCallMeNighthawk · 23/10/2011 21:06

It is shocking and I certainly wouldn't want my child to watch it BUT it won't do her any real harm to watch it.

I saw a untold number of 18 certificate films before the age of 16 and it didn't have any lasting impact. I even saw The Exorcist at 12. Teenagers are pretty resilient to gross things though. It's only as I've got older and become a parent that I've become squeamish and upset by horror films. In fact, I hate them and I never choose to watch them.

So YANBU but I'm sure your daughter is fine.

Original poster
tropicalfish · 23/10/2011 21:07

actually I dont know if she downloaded it onto laptop in bedroom.
Its quite true you can only be sure not having computer in bedroom.
Then theres always mobile phones.

OP posts:
ravenAK · 23/10/2011 21:07

I read a synopsis of it a few months ago & was actually quite Shock & haunted by the premise (& I'm quite keen on scary movies). I'm told it's absolute pants & suspect actually watching it would be less disturbing than the initial impact of the sheer nastiness of the central idea

Many of my year 9 students have seen it - & regard it much as your dd did - gross, more to be laughed at than anything else.

However, 'dodgy' films are there with alcohol as far as I'm concerned, when it comes to other people's children - not my choice to make. If I'm OK with allowing my own child to have a drink/watch an 18 certificate video nasty, then that's my decision. If I condone another child in my care doing likewise without checking with the parents, then, that's totally Not On.

I would probably ring the other parent & make them aware, initially as letting them know that 'someone' had downloaded this film, tsssk, kids eh - & if the response I got was 'Yes we know, we allowed them to watch it' then I'd be a bit wary of encouraging further sleepovers.

yellowraincoat · 23/10/2011 21:08

I remember at about 13 my friend's Mum putting The Shining on for us.

Bloody terrified me.

And she used to work with kids!

Human Centipede is bogging.

mrsshears · 23/10/2011 21:09

Exactly tropicalfish

Whatmeworry · 23/10/2011 21:11

It's a sleepover, and teen kids love to be horrified by horror movies, and there is always a "film too horrible to watch" - that's the whole spin. If DD is not bothered I wouldn't take it any farther, she sounds pretty rational to me.
But I'd keep a wary eye on sleepovers at that place again.

ChippingInToThePumpkinLantern · 23/10/2011 21:12

Well, given that DD wasn't upset by it then I wouldn't be bothered that she has seen it. When I was her age I watched some films my parents wouldn't have approved of - it's a bit of a right of passage isn't it? IMO she is plenty old enough to say 'I'm not watching that' & to call you if she's uncomfortable. At some stage they have to start taking responsibility for themselves, IMO 14 is old enough.

They are also, at 14, old enough to be left at home on their own when their parents go out (I was babysitting by that age), so no, the fact her Mum went out the night before wouldn't worry me.

I think a parent should be home if they have friends over unless the other childs parent has been told there wont be an adult there.

notlettingthefearshow · 23/10/2011 21:12

You should talk to the parents, but make sure you hear their side of the story before you make assumptions. You can base your future decisions about sleepovers on how satisfied you are with their response.

14 is generally too young to watch an 18 film, although I was certainly watching them at that age and enjoyed them. It depends on the individual and the film itself. I don't know about this film though - from what others have said, it sounds disturbing.

Was your daughter disturbed by it?

Putrifyno · 23/10/2011 21:12

I watched ALL SORTS of horrible films at that age. If your dd is not traumatised, I really wouldn't worry too much. Equally, I was going in the pub and buying 10 Rothmans of a weekend. Now I have a dd, I know what behaviour would worry me more. And I was a "nice" grammar school girl.

MrBloomsNursery · 23/10/2011 21:13

OH!!! I watched that movie last year, and I thought I was too young to watch it at the grand old age of 27....Absolutely disgusting movie with really bad acting.

ChippingInToThePumpkinLantern · 23/10/2011 21:14

We are talking about 14 year olds here, not 7 year olds. TBH you are somewhat deluded if you think you know what they are doing, watching, downloading etc 24/7 - technology being what it is.

Cheeptrickortreat · 23/10/2011 21:14

For all those adults on here saying its not going to harm the teenagers - your wrong it does.

My sisters are 16 and 18 years older than me, my perants were negletful of me and from a young age i watch allsorts of films 18+. And yes it does affect a teenager, with nightmears, feeling bad, scared and normalising the behaviour of adults that really is not normal at all.

Why can we not just treat 14 yo's as the teenages they are and not adults?

IMO its not acceptable.

Putrifyno · 23/10/2011 21:15

Yet I did this at 14.......