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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

my 14 year old daughter shouldnt be shown 'The human Centipede' on sleepover

233 replies

tropicalfish · 23/10/2011 20:24

My dd went for sleepover at 13 year olds friends house and as a film to watch was shown the human centipede. Apparently downloaded.
What would you do?
Would you let your own dd for go for sleepover at their house again?
I am very annoyed about this.

OP posts:

TotemPole · 24/10/2011 14:57

13/14 years old would be in 3rd year secondary school. When I was that age some of the banned 'video nasties' were being passed around.

I don't think you can censor or control everything children that age watch.

HeidiKat · 24/10/2011 15:05

I wouldn't worry too much if your DD wasn't bothered by the film, I did similar at a friend's house at a similar, if not slightly younger, age with the film A Nightmare on Elm Street which my own parents would never have allowed, it's just one of those things teenagers do.

BluddyMoFo · 24/10/2011 15:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ruddynorah · 24/10/2011 16:02

As I recall my dad let us watch silence of the lambs and nightmare on elm street at ridiculously young ages. We were not bothered by them. However watching the witches by roald dahl which I think is a PG gave us nightmares for years!

A bunch of people sewed together isn't as frightening as old ladies in masks snatching kids then turning them into mice.

MakesCakesWhenStressed · 24/10/2011 16:07

I was at a sleepover aged 11 ish and the other girls put Terminator on. I had always had quite carefully supervised viewing and I was horrified and very upset. So bad I actually went and told the host's parents. It didn;t make me very popular with the others, but I was very shaken by it.

Mind you, I don;t like violence or graphic horror stuff. I've had nightmares about the human centipede and all I did was read the wiki page ages ago - the very idea repulses me and whilst these other parents might not know, I really would be fuming if one of my DC had been exposed to something if it upset them.

BeyondLimitsOfTheLivingDead · 24/10/2011 16:15

Thats a good point ruddy , I can watch any gore or horror and dont even blink.
But I'm still scared of ET and thats a bloody "U" certificate! [hgrin]

Perriwinkle · 24/10/2011 16:34

Your average 14 year old (Yr 9/10) these days is exposed to all sorts. I certainly was at the same age in the 1980s and things have certainly moved on nowadays.

I really think that most 14 year olds would take this film well in their stride and I can't really see what all the moral panic is about.

I think the principal issue in this thread is less to do with the content/plot of the silly film itself (which, as a lot of people have already pointed out, most 14 year olds would see for the utter nonsense it is and not be affected by) and more to do with making decisons about other people's children while they are under your care.

If it were me, I wouldn't dream of putting on a film like that for a group of kids staying at my house to watch for fear of a provoking a backlash just like the one described here.

I don't like sleepovers anyway. Children outside of my immediate and extended faily are a total unknown quantity to me and I don't like that. Let them come round and hang out by all means but pack them off home before bedtime. They can vomit, wet the bed or wake up in the middle of the night fussing in the comfort of their own homes where their own parents are there to look after them!

Perriwinkle · 24/10/2011 16:37

Makescakeswhenstressed if you had nightmares after reading the Wiki pages about the Human Centipede then you must be of a peculiarly sensitive disposition which I don't believe is reprepsentative of the vast majority of people.

MorelliOrRanger · 24/10/2011 17:03

I'm very sensitive Perri, I can't watch stuff like that without having nightmares (even now) and I'm on the slide to 40.

I went to a sleepover when I was about 12 and we watch Omen. Hated it, scared me senseless.

I've not seen this film but just watch the trailer and it looks crap, but not suitable for a young teen.

I'd be calling the mother just to see if she knew that they watched it. If so my DD would not be going back there again for a sleepover.

maypole1 · 24/10/2011 18:05

The moral panic is a you put it that other people can do what the fridge they like with their kids if they want them watching porn, violence or whatever good luck but you shouldn't make the choice for other peoples children

Same with drink if you want your kids drinking White lighting at a family do vodka shot whatever fine but you shouldn't be making the choice for other peoples children end of

hiss42 · 24/10/2011 18:10

Haven'tr ead the rest of this thread but Human Centipede isn't just an 18 horror film it is horrific, about human mutilation and torture. Would never allow my child to their house again unless the parents came up with a damn good explanation of why it was allowed to happen. 13/14 year olds still need some form of supervision and even if it was without their knowledge she should appologise to you!

TidyDancer · 24/10/2011 18:43

I would bet anything the parents didn't know the girls had this film on, and though going out when they were in the house is terrible and lax and certainly something to call them on, them getting access to a 'horror' film is probably a genuine mistake that with any luck they will learn from.

I wouldn't restrict your DD from going to this house for sleepovers again. I would, however, want assurances that there would be some parental supervision if said sleepover took place in the next couple of years, and I would make sure the parents made it impossible for the DCs to access this kind of film. I might feel differently about letting a DC of mine go at all if she was younger though.

If it's any comfort, this film is not actually that bad WRT what you physically see. It is more the concept of someone experimenting with surgery using human subjects that gained this film its reputation. It's quite shocking in that respect, and there are moments of suspense that have you on the edge of the seat, but it's really not a classic horror film.

It's still not okay that it was shown to a group of teenagers, but it's not really as bad as it has been made out to be.

hardboiledpossum · 24/10/2011 18:49

Do parents really stay up until 5 in the morning supervising sleepovers? At 14 I went to plenty of parties and sleepovers where parents were out for the evening.

mjlovesscareypants · 24/10/2011 18:53

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Message withdrawn

Original poster

tropicalfish · 24/10/2011 18:57

Apparently both parents knew they were watching the film and they watched the whole film. Apart from the fact my dd went to get a drink at the end and couldnt watch last bit.
I guess from my point of view it just calls into question whether I trust the other parents judgement. I wouldnt be keen on another sleepover but my dd really likes this girl. I will just try and keep sleepovers at my house.
I wouldnt say anything to the parent because they wouldnt see anything wrong with what they did.

OP posts:

mrsshears · 24/10/2011 19:09

If thats the case then tropicalfish i would be very cross too.
Its one thing teenagers watching this film in secret but with the parents being aware is something else entirely!
totally unacceptable!

TidyDancer · 24/10/2011 19:16

Yes, the fact that the parents knew does put it in a slightly different light....

I don't know what you'd do about it though. I still probably wouldn't stop my DD from going there again, but it's a judgement call, and you wouldn't be wrong either way IMO.

mjlovesscareypants · 24/10/2011 19:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

DoMeDon · 24/10/2011 21:09

I would be having a word - even if they don't see the harm in it. They should know it's not on to allow a child to watch whatever they want, and it is indefensible to allow someone else's child to watch an 18 rated film in their home.

ScarlettIsWalking · 24/10/2011 22:55

All teens are different. My DSD is a really, really sensitive girl and at this age a film like this would have truly disturbed her and in a bad way.

I am quite sad at the attitude that well it's just what happens what can you do. That film is misogynistic in the extreme and quite depraived. Really different to the " scream" type horror. It has a truly pornographic subtext.

DumSpiroScaro · 25/10/2011 00:54

If it was my DD she would certainly not be going there again.

I wouldn't go out of my way to say anything to the parents but if they called me on my not allowing my DD to go there again I'd tell them exactly what I thought and it would not be pretty.

DumSpiroScaro · 25/10/2011 01:00

I'd also add there's a lot to be said for empowering your own DD to say 'no' in a situation like this, even at the risk of her mates taking the mickey.

I saw Nightmare on Elm Street 3 at a friends house when I was 13 - she was used to watching that kind of thing with her brother and I convinced my mum I'd be fine (am sure she didn't have a clue what it actually involved).

It played on my mind horrendously afterwards and I was absolutely terrified going to bed - I slept with the light on until I was about 18 .

However, when I went to another friend's 15th birthday and they got another video from the series out, I just said, "Sorry, I can't watch that - don't want to spoil your fun but I'm going to get my mum to pick me up."

Even now (am 36) when I hear 'One two buckle my shoe...' I shudder!

Whatmeworry · 25/10/2011 08:13

^I guess from my point of view it just calls into question whether I trust the other parents judgement. I wouldnt be keen on another sleepover but my dd really likes this girl. I will just try and keep sleepovers at my house.
I wouldnt say anything to the parent because they wouldnt see anything wrong with what they did^

I think its best to treat this on a person by person basis. TBH your DD seems quite sensible so I wouldn't say anything as this girl is her friend and the parents will just think you are BU, so no gain. I'd encourage sleepovers at my house and I'd just let her know that you would fully support her if she was ever uncomfortable and wanted to come home.

missymarmite · 25/10/2011 11:32

I would be very annoyed. I googled the human centipede last night as I hate horror movies genre and thus had never heard of it.

Just from reading about it and watching some clips online I woke up several times in the night thinking about it, and it has left a really horrible, uneasy feeling this morning. Really, it is the most disgusting and horrifying idea for a film. What the hell kind of sick person even imagines this stuff?

I would be horrified and not let my son go there to stay.

unpa1dcar3r · 25/10/2011 12:08

That film is the most vile thing I have ever seen. I was nearly sick- and all I did was flick back and forth to see if it had improved any. It didn't. It got worse. Haunted me for a while actually.

I've heard the original story was that some people were sat around discussing what they'd like to do to paedophiles and this is what came up.
However the film wasn't based on them, but on travellers lost in the woods.
Either way it was disgusting and no way would i have let my girls watch it at that age.
I wouldn't even let them watch The Passion of the Christ as they were about that age then!

Very irresponsible on the part of the parents IMO.

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