To think my sister should not have her dress unzipped by another man in the pub?

[KouklaWhooooo]

My sis has just met a new man. He's lovely by all accounts. Yesterday, she went to her friends wedding, and afterwards went on to meet new man plus friends in a pub. She wasn't drunk (muslim wedding) but a couple of the friends were hammered apparently.

So she's having a drink with new man plus 3 of his friends in a pub, and they're (drunkenly) giving her quite a hard time - for being the the only girl there - lots of innuendo about her & new man (their friend). She laughed it all off - as banter.

But then new man went to the bar and one of the friends went to give my sis a 'hug' while chatting to her in a friendly way, but undid her dress - ie. unzipped a smart (suitable for wedding) strapless dress (she had worn a jacket over it for the wedding) - unzipped it from the top to her mid back, so the dress flopped forwards. He then immediately zipped it back up, but my sis took herself away to other side of the bar and cried her eyes out.

She composed herself, and went back and when new man asked her where the hell she had been, she explained, and promptly burst into tears again. She ids very upset - her new man was adorably apologetic.

She is still upset. Am I unreasonable to think this is totally our of order thing for a friend of a 'new man' to do to her in a London pub?

Fucker, he should have kept his hands to himself.

None of the other stuff matters. All he had to do was keep his hands to himself.

I think she should make an official complaint to the police about him. Might not go very far but perhaps he will learn to keep his fucking hands to himself.

How her boyfriend responds to her making an official complaint should tell her everything she needs to know about him.

Press charges against that assailant. Serves him right, even if he only gets a caution.

Ditch the new man. There's better fish out in the sea.

Just to clarify something, the 'where the hell have you been?' was said in a very nice way - kind of concerned as to why she had been gone so long - new man was wondering where on earth she was.

The friend is apparently not a best mate, just someone he sees sometimes. My sis is not the most self-confident person in the world - all she knew was that this felt like a violation to her. She was already minimising the experience to herself when she was telling us about it. It was us that said no, that's totally out of order. It's notable that he waited for new man to go to the bar before he did it as well. I think it is just so true that this man didn't see her as a person in her own right - just an adornment of his friend - someone to be be made fun of for sport.

Thanks for all the responses on this - they have mainly been hugely helpful. This was not something to just be just laughed off.

I agree with everyone who has already said this is all not good also wrt this new man. If it were my sister I would say very clearly that I feel she should keep away from him. In the end though, she will do what she wants and if she was talking the whole thing down, it sounds to me as if she has already made up her mind to continue the relationship

This has happened to me before - by Dh's boss.

I'd like to think that I'm usually quite fiesty and intolerant of things like this but I was literally left speechless, I was more surprised by my own gutless reaction than the actual event.

I eventually muttered something incoherent which was meant to be along the lines of - You wouldn't think this was acceptable behaviour in the supermarket and I doubt you would approve if someone did it to your mum or sister so don't dare think it's an acceptable thing to do in the pub to me.

Luckily DH who is chubby well built was far more coherant than me and the nob apologised and went home.

My concern with your sister's bf would be the fact that while he didn't join in the banter he didn't stop it either. Either he's easily led by bullies or he agreed with them but just wasn't saying it. Either way, it doesn't bode very well for his character. No one should have to put up with what essentially amounts to verbal and sexual assault by their partner's friends. His friends should have been nice and welcoming to her, and when they weren't the bf should either have given them a telling off or just left with her.