Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

10 Tips to Prevent Rape

688 replies

coldwed · 19/10/2011 09:43

Should this leaflet be handed out to the public?

www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=439x2141096

OP posts:
blackoutthesun · 19/10/2011 18:53

because that puts the 'blame' onto the woman for not keeping herself safe

nothing about the man who decides he is going to rape someone

SolidGoldVampireBat · 19/10/2011 18:59

Someone posted on another rape-myth thread a while ago about how much she hates the equation of rape with having valuables stolen from your car. And she made the excellent point that while you can keep valuable items out of sight in your car by locking them in the boot or whatever, how is a woman supposed to hide the fact that she has a vagina? To a rapist, the fact that a woman has a vagina means he is entitled to fuck it.

Tianc · 19/10/2011 19:01

We do want to help prevent rape, sherole.

That's why we're keen for responsibility for rape to be squarely on the shoulders of the rapist.

Instead of nurturing what appears to be a Get Out Of Jail Free card in the minds of some jurors, that responsibility for rape somehow rests with the victim.

StewieGriffinsMom · 19/10/2011 19:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BeyondLimitsOfTheLivingDead · 19/10/2011 19:07

[hhmm]

Surely the first step to avoid being raped sherole is

  1. Do not be alone with any male ever. Not even your brother, dad or husband.
sherole4justice · 19/10/2011 19:09

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet.

blackoutthesun · 19/10/2011 19:10

yep 2 to tango

ONE man to rape

StewieGriffinsMom · 19/10/2011 19:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ElaineReese · 19/10/2011 19:12

Lovely rapey tango.

Arsehole.

StewieGriffinsMom · 19/10/2011 19:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BeyondLimitsOfTheLivingDead · 19/10/2011 19:14

reduce the chance of a man wanting to rape
How exactly?

DontCallMeFrothyDragon · 19/10/2011 19:15

No victim is ever active, sherole.

Two to tango doesn't apply to rape. Because the victim has no choice.

BeyondLimitsOfTheLivingDead · 19/10/2011 19:15

I missed "two to tango" [hshock]

DharmaLovesDraco · 19/10/2011 19:15

OMG sherole what a completely idiotic, brain dead thing to say Hmm

Whatmeworry · 19/10/2011 19:25

The only way to prevent rape is for men not to rape

That's like saying the only way to prevent murder is for people not to murder. It's true, but not very helpful IMO.

As another poster said, idealism is great - in an ideal world.

I do think there is a case for taking precautions yourself in a non ideal world though, like with any other thing you do. It's not taking any "blame" FFS!

DontCallMeFrothyDragon · 19/10/2011 19:27

Again.

Whatmeworry. Most rapes are "acquaintance rapes". How do you take precautions against that?

chibi · 19/10/2011 19:29

I am proud of all of you who have the strength to say over and over, with more grace than i could muster that it is not the victims fault, that no one chooses to be a victim, that all you need to be raped is a rapist

I am well beyond all that now, at peace with what happened to me, but i know that 20 years ago, if i had been lurking here, your patient words would have saved me a lot of the grief and recriminations that came after

thank you

and lurkers, it is never your fault, and whatever you had to do to live through it was the right thing xc

blackoutthesun · 19/10/2011 19:37

chibi your post has really moved me

i'm glad that you have found peace

AnyPhantomFucker · 19/10/2011 20:08

sherole read chibi's post and tell her it "takes two to tango"

fuckwit

StewieGriffinsMom · 19/10/2011 20:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Uppity · 19/10/2011 20:15

"telling women to "dont be a victim" is telling women that they have a choice in whether they are a victim or not when in actual fact the only person who has a choice in who is a victim is a rapist. saying 'dont be a victim' is like saying a woman would make the choice to be a victim!! in other words, if you chose to drink you are chosing to be a victim. and we all know that is bullshit." That bears repeating.

Telling rape victims that it takes two to tango, is telling them that they're equally responsible for their rape. Way to go, rape apologist. You're asking why wouldn't anyone want to stop rape. You don't sound like you want to.

DontCallMeFrothyDragon · 19/10/2011 20:19

Very well said, Chibi. :)

FearfulYank · 19/10/2011 20:22

Sherole I'm very offended by that.

Yes, when I was a teen I got drunk and went and lay on my "boyfriend's" bed and snogged him. So is it my fault that he didn't stop when I said to, my fault that I was too drunk to fight properly, my fault for not being in my own bed with a cup of tea and a book like a "good girl" , my fault I woke up on bloody sheets in pain and thinking, well, I guess that's the story of how I lost my virginity.

Really? Takes two to tango I suppose. Hmm

Uppity · 19/10/2011 20:22

And now some idiot's going to come along and bleat that all those awful militant feminists call people rape apologists when they're disagreed with, ignoring the fact that the person they're calling on their rape apologia, has in fact, just posted a rape apologia.

I mean really. How fucking you dare you tell rape victims here that it takes two to tango. How fucking dare you.

DontCallMeFrothyDragon · 19/10/2011 20:26
Swipe left for the next trending thread