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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be disgusted at my shitting husband

119 replies

Gloribe · 17/10/2011 16:34

Shit appears to be a theme today.

My DH is normally quite well mannered and comes equipped with all the required social skills. However he has recently started coming into the bathroom to have a shit while I am in the bath or shower. He says he can't wait until I'm done. I think what's the point in having £15 lavender scented bubbles from L'Occitane when he's firing out a smelly dump a metre from my head. I shout at him, but he says I'm being precious and it's what all married people do. Now, I don't want to ask my friends if this sort of thing is normal, so I'm throwing it out here.

And it fucking stinks.

Yesterday I was on the loo when he came in and pissed in the sink.
I'm not sure what the hell has happened to him.

AIBU to think this is vile?
[hconfused]

OP posts:

RIZZ0 · 17/10/2011 21:06

Are you the woman in the WKD advert?

RoxyRobin · 17/10/2011 21:08

I've always been prejudiced against bathrooms with toilets in them - didn't like the idea of even having to look at one when I'm relaxing in the bath. This thread has made me realise my fastidiousness has spared me a lot!

lunaticow · 17/10/2011 21:10

Why did he pee in the sink? If he is truly desperate and it is a one off then fair enough but this is a bad habit.

thereisalightanditnevergoesout · 17/10/2011 21:17

I've never been prejudiced against a room...

Rikalaily · 17/10/2011 21:26

Tell him to go before you get in the bath, then he's got no excuse to put you through his stink. I'm so thankful to have a seperate loo/bathroom.

eurochick · 17/10/2011 21:27

What the buggery fuck??? People actually behave like this behind closed doors? It's absolutely vile. It didn't happen in the house I grew up in and it does not happen in my house.

And wtf is an instapoo? How can an adult not have any warning or ability to hold it (episodes of dodgy stomachs excepted)? It's just practice. You learn to hold it until a suitable moment. Usually around the age of 3-4 years. Some of you have very delayed development. You should see someone about that.

I hope I never end up on a plane with any of the instapooers when the toilets are busy. Presumably you just shit in the aisles when an instapoo hits.

RoxyRobin · 17/10/2011 21:31

Better a room than a person.

thereisalightanditnevergoesout · 17/10/2011 21:32

Yes, very true.

SolidGoldVampireBat · 17/10/2011 21:34

If he's only recently started doing this, what else has changed? Have the two of you either gone vegetarian or resumed meat-eating after a period of vegetarianism? Is he taking any new medications or vitamin supplements?
Is he shitting a lot more than before generally (not just when you are in the bath)? FWIW a sudden but persistent change in shitting habits can be an indication of something wrong with your innards so if it can't be accounted for, send him and his erupting ringpiece to the doctor.

thereisalightanditnevergoesout · 17/10/2011 21:40

@Roxy (Though, I suppose I'm not all that keen on my utility room, but I think that more because of my aversion to my washing machine.)

thisisyesterday · 17/10/2011 21:42

i also do not believe that any adult without some kind of butt-issues cannot hold a poo in

seriously? so if you were stuck in a traffic jam for an houir or more you'd actually shit your pants?

Hullygully · 17/10/2011 21:44

POO TROLL POO TROLL POO TROLL

thisisyesterday · 17/10/2011 21:45

and yes agree that if he does it the same time each day then just change your bathtime

needanewname · 17/10/2011 21:47

Absolutely disgusting. Can you take a chair into the bathroom with you and wedge it under the handle.

Also stop doing anything for him. Let him know that you will nto tolerate it

VivaLeBeaver · 17/10/2011 21:48

My hubby's problem is running. Not the runs but actual running. The times he's come barging in the bathroom when I'm in the bath or shower for a poo is immediately after he's been out for a run. He'll often come through the door and straight up to the loo. He reckons that running gets his bowels moving.

He's not made it home before now and had to poo on the footpath halfway on his run. When I say footpath i mean in the fields rather than in the middle of a town.

frutilla · 17/10/2011 21:50

Put a dead bolt on the door, too high up for DD. YA def NBU!!!!

ButterP · 17/10/2011 21:51

I grew up in a house where weeing just happens no matter who is hanging around/in the bath, but once we got to puberty it got restricted to generally only my mum when she was bursting as everyone got a warning beforehand (we used to wee when she was in the bath too - some of our best chatting happened like that). In shared houses there was no toilet use while someone was bathing, and now we have a bathroom and a downstairs loo, so there is very little need for witnessing other people weeing (except when the DC are involved, as they are both under 5 and so like a chat and a singsong). DH and I only see each other wee now if we are in the middle of a good conversation and also drunk, and so we just carry it on as we wee, or in our last house we had an ensuite with no door (rented house, I don't know why they thought this a good idea). I worked for years as a care assistant and so saw more people on the loo than most people see in a lifetime and so am fairly relaxed about the whole thing.

But my point is, as somebody fairly relaxed about toilets, NO TO POO!

smallwhitecat · 17/10/2011 21:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

HomeEcoGnomist · 17/10/2011 22:04

Whether this is a wind up or not, it has made me LMFAO!

I especially like smallwhitecat's suggestion.

And [hgrin] at "passive aggressive" pooing. I have a friend who talks about P-A behaviour a lot, I am going to hear those words in a very different way now...

biscuitmad · 17/10/2011 22:36

Seriously thats discusting.

Ten minutes before you go for your bath go and find him and say go and use the toilet because I want to have a bath in peace. If you attempt to come in for a crap when Im having some me time in the bath then your in big trouble.

If he does get out of the bath call him a dirty fucker go and get something that he loves like a video game and throw it down the toilet.

Seriously its horrible. Peeing in the sink is even worse, is he doing it because he doesnt want to be in charge of the kids?

Blondeshavemorefun · 17/10/2011 22:43

dh did this occasionally - but if he needed to go, he needed to go - but would knock on the door and say he really needs to go so either a) i got out of bath if been wallowing for hours (and i love a wallow) or b) he came in

if b he always made me pull the shower curtain over - fuck knows why, as certainly didnt stop any smell or noise

but pissing in the sink is disgusting - hes a grown man and can wait 2 minutes

agree with a high lock

or he can poo in a carrier bag - like a porta porrt

BullyBeefBadgers · 17/10/2011 22:53

Im sure you'll all think Im vile now but we only have one loo so often have to put up with each other in the bathroom - esp before DD when we were both working. We used to just have to take it in turns to be in the shower while the other one did their business. Love is all about sharing

Also when pregnant DP had to hold a bowl for me while I had prelabour vomitting and other end clear out - and he still finds me attractive.(the bowl was for the vomit btw!!!)

On the other hand I would question anyone who claims their DP hasn't pissed infront of them - surely at some point??? We used to go hiking so saw many people pissing behind various plant life

SaffronCake · 17/10/2011 23:02

My OH has IBS and so he sometimes does need to go with honestly no notice. He leaps up and legs it, or as close to legs it as a man can who is afraid his trousers are about to resemble the Thames estuary.

On the rare occasions he has HAD TO use the toilet when I have been in the bath he has been appropriately apologetic, visibly embarrassed and made a lot of self depreciating jokes to make it less awful. He will then open a window, put the extractor fan on, use an air freshener or whatever else.

I think if the OP's OH really couldn't help it he'd probably behave the same way. Sadly I think he probably can help it.

eurochick · 17/10/2011 23:16

Viva runners' trots is a well-known issue. (Just ask Paula Radcliffe...) I would avoid bathing when he is due back from a run!

SolidGoldVampireBat · 17/10/2011 23:39

I have lively bowels too (not so much irritable as criminally insane). Immodium is helpful when I know I am going to be without access to a crapper.
But I am slightly concerned that this man seems to be dismissing the OP's objections when surely a loving, respectful relationship includes not doing things that make your partner feel sick and then gloating about it, even if you think your partner is being a bit wussy.

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