Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be disgusted at my shitting husband

119 replies

Gloribe · 17/10/2011 16:34

Shit appears to be a theme today.

My DH is normally quite well mannered and comes equipped with all the required social skills. However he has recently started coming into the bathroom to have a shit while I am in the bath or shower. He says he can't wait until I'm done. I think what's the point in having £15 lavender scented bubbles from L'Occitane when he's firing out a smelly dump a metre from my head. I shout at him, but he says I'm being precious and it's what all married people do. Now, I don't want to ask my friends if this sort of thing is normal, so I'm throwing it out here.

And it fucking stinks.

Yesterday I was on the loo when he came in and pissed in the sink.
I'm not sure what the hell has happened to him.

AIBU to think this is vile?
[hconfused]

OP posts:
MumblingAndBloodyRagDoll · 17/10/2011 17:01

My poos are ALL instapoos....they just shout "I'm HERE!" and have t come out immedately. I get no "brewing" warni signs like Love says....maybe this is all born of poo-misunderstanding...a lack of poo empathy.

Some peopl just don't get a warning.

Whatmeworry · 17/10/2011 17:01

Put in an outside toilet for him and the workmen :D

MrsChemist · 17/10/2011 17:02

Build a privy in your garden. Then he can poo outside and it won't stinky up your bathroom.

Poodleplops · 17/10/2011 17:02

Ds whom im toilet training shat on the couch and peed all over the floor think urself lucky not to be dealing with that!

Original poster
Gloribe · 17/10/2011 17:02

I only wish it was a wind up.
Sadly this is my reality. In fairness to him, I do take ages in there and I'm not sure he's being passive agressive but what I do think is that he no longer feels the need to impress me on any level. And that makes me very sad.

OP posts:
SheCutOffTheirTails · 17/10/2011 17:04

After I had DD2 I had frequent instapoos, but I don't suppose pregnancy is the cause of what's going on here.

:o ouryve @ "in the toilet"

This thread reminds of Father Stone

"Sorry Father, I'm in the bath".

"I don't mind."

MumblingAndBloodyRagDoll · 17/10/2011 17:04

Well when you need to poo you're not thinking of impressing anyone...what could he have done? Pooed in a bag? As I suggested maybe you need to bathe after he's pooed and the effects of said poo have faded.

HecateGoddessOfTheNight · 17/10/2011 17:05

Do you take your bath at the same time every day?

If you have it at a totally different time and he still comes in to shit, then you will know if he is actually holding it in for you!

If he's not, then it's a clash of bath time and poo time and since you have more control over running a bath than he does over opening his bowels - change the time of your bath and you won't have this clash any more.

If, otoh, he changes his pooptime so he is still offloading while you're in the bath, you are allowed to leap out of the bath, grab hold of him and shove his head down the loo.

ChaosTrulyReigns · 17/10/2011 17:07

Erm, isn't this the premise of an advertisement?

Does your DH drink bright blue bottled drinks?

IwoulddoPachacuti · 17/10/2011 17:09

My DD has the most regular bowels of anyone I know. Everyday at 3.10 when she comes in from school she goes for a shit. I think she, like me, has a fear of poling in public!

It is very rude to poo in company though. I would never let DH do it when I'm in the bathroom. It's vile! I'd have a stern talking to him and make sure he knows you are not joking

dreamingbohemian · 17/10/2011 17:11

I can't imagine being sexually attracted to someone who poos and pees in front of me.

If you feel the same, perhaps you should tell him. That might give him pause.

UpsyDozy · 17/10/2011 17:13

I actually have a friend whose DH does this, she kind of moaned about it but wasn't hugely bothered, she was laughing about it when she told me.

I have never been able to look at her DH the same way again! Obviously if you've only got one loo then you are going to have to get up close and personal with each others' functions and smells on occasion but I totally agree with what the OP said:

"what I do think is that he no longer feels the need to impress me on any level. And that makes me very sad"

I totally sympathise OP, I'd be sad too.

ButternutSquish · 17/10/2011 17:23

I have instapoos too....but I thought it was due to endometriosis. I HAVE to go but to be fair, I'm very regular. Sorry, tmi Blush

molepom · 17/10/2011 17:31

I was quite lucky that he would USUALLY go and use the downstairs loo if I was in the bath but I can still understand how you are feeling on the times he didnt. It used to piss me off BIG TIME.

EricNorthmansMistress · 17/10/2011 17:32

I would kill him
I mean kill him.
Very occasionally he has asked me to get out of the bath to take a shit and I grumble and moan but I'll do that (occasionally). If he let himself in and sat down - ugh. He wouldn't dare.

LaurieFairyCake · 17/10/2011 17:37

We only have one loo and no one pisses or shits in front of each other.

I have a bath, it takes 45 minutes - people are offered pissing and shitting opportunities before hand.

Then they can fucking wait.

If they're desperate they can waddle asses clenched to Tesco.

picnicbasketcase · 17/10/2011 17:39

A bolt on the door really high up.
No, it's not normal.
My DP wouldn't even pee in front of me, let alone come in and take a dump.

nickelbabe · 17/10/2011 17:40

oh, good, I'm glad I'm not the only one to have instapoos - although, I do have to wait about 2 days for my poos.
bloody daft - 2 days and then it can't give me longer than 5minutes' warning? Confused

I do poo when DH is in the bathroom, but he does take ages when he knows I need a poo.
I do not make a habit of it - I have probably done it 3 times since the beginning of this pregnancy, and I'd never done it before that.
(I'm blaming being pg, you see)

VivaLeBeaver · 17/10/2011 17:48

My DH does this, really annoys me.

He reckons he can't wait.

Bunbaker · 17/10/2011 20:36

"I have to say I don't get the "instapoo" thing"

That's not very understading of you. I have a friend with ulcerative colitis, another with Crohn's disease, and I have IBS. I totally "get" this instapoo thing.

OP Why don't you a) Put a bolt high up on the bathroom door and b) Tell everyone the bathroom will be occupied for the next half hour or so and to use it now. BTW I hate going to the loo in friends' houses where they don't have locks on the door.

When we stay at MIL's she only has one loo, which is in the bathroom. whenever anyone takes a bath or shower we always ask if anyone needs the loo.

bigTillyMint · 17/10/2011 20:39

YANBU. DH sometimes comes in for a pee while I'm in the bath and that is bad enough.

We have one of those hook things on the inside - put it high up so your DD can't reach it!

GalaxyWeaver · 17/10/2011 20:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ImperialBlether · 17/10/2011 20:55

Doesn't anyone else get the feeling the OP is getting a thrill out of all this?

spottypancake · 17/10/2011 21:03

I think it depends. "Normal" varies, so really you both have to be happy with what's going on.

I don't mind my DH taking a shit in front of me BUT it does stink a lot so I would be cross if he did it right next to me when I was in the bath. On the other hand, DH would be perfectly happy for me to shit whilst he was in the bath. Mine doesn't smell as much and DH doesn't care about smells anyway. I don't usually do this because I think it's relatively gross, but you can see how things people are happy with vary a lot.

All you need to do is say "DH, I want to get in the bath now. Do you need to shit before I get in the bath because I don't want you to shit whilst I am in the bath". No locks needed - just put the facts to him. If he disrespects that, then he has more problems than those related to shit.

thereisalightanditnevergoesout · 17/10/2011 21:03

Er... no. What makes you say that ImperialBlether?

Swipe left for the next trending thread