Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be disgusted at my shitting husband

119 replies

Gloribe · 17/10/2011 16:34

Shit appears to be a theme today.

My DH is normally quite well mannered and comes equipped with all the required social skills. However he has recently started coming into the bathroom to have a shit while I am in the bath or shower. He says he can't wait until I'm done. I think what's the point in having £15 lavender scented bubbles from L'Occitane when he's firing out a smelly dump a metre from my head. I shout at him, but he says I'm being precious and it's what all married people do. Now, I don't want to ask my friends if this sort of thing is normal, so I'm throwing it out here.

And it fucking stinks.

Yesterday I was on the loo when he came in and pissed in the sink.
I'm not sure what the hell has happened to him.

AIBU to think this is vile?
[hconfused]

OP posts:
MumblingAndBloodyRagDoll · 17/10/2011 16:43

BUt what's the man to do? On the thread about the builder who pooed in the OPs toilet and she wasn''t pleased....everyone (except me) said "Oh when you have to go you have to go!"

I mean...it's a poo...when need a poo I need a poo within 5 minutes....or I;ll be in trouble!

HecateGoddessOfTheNight · 17/10/2011 16:44

wedge a chair up against the door?

Tell him that you are going for a bath in half an hour so he had better go to the loo now or he's not getting in until you're done.

Change the time of your bath. If he still comes in then you know he is doing this on purpose.

BigBoobiedBertha · 17/10/2011 16:44

YANBU - all married couples do not do that at all. We don't - using the toilet in front of each of other is a step too far.

Tell he you are finding it very difficult to fancy him after witnessing his behaviour. Particularly pissing in the sink - that is just gross.

nickelbabe · 17/10/2011 16:44

RAgDoll - it sounds like he's made a habit out of it, though, so it needs nipping in the bud.

nickelbabe · 17/10/2011 16:45

ha! Hec agrees with meeeee Grin

Ormirian · 17/10/2011 16:45

Tell him you are having a bath at least an hour before you do to give him a chance to use the loo and clear the air! He does need to be able to do so. And then put a pile of towels against the inside of the door so he can't get in! Assuming a lock is not possible.

Otherwise divorce is the answer. Sorry but it just is! No-one pollutes the bathroom when I am soaking. NO-ONE!

Lotkinsgonecurly · 17/10/2011 16:46

Lock at a high level? Refuse to do anything for him until he changes

Sausagesarenottheonlyfruit · 17/10/2011 16:46

No, it's completely disrespectful.
Is he trying to express contempt towards you? How is your relationship in general?

SheCutOffTheirTails · 17/10/2011 16:46

I don't think you should demand he hold in a poo while you have a really long soak.

But if you ask beforehand, that should avoid all but the odd instapoo.

Pissing in the sink is really not on. How long were you going to be?

Has he only recently been toilet trained? Even my 3yo can wait a minute until someone else has finished.

DontGoCurly · 17/10/2011 16:47

Second bathroom?

MumblingAndBloodyRagDoll · 17/10/2011 16:47

nicekl how can you nip it in the bud? His bowels are his bowels! One toilet must be a mare....OP you could wait till he's had his poo and then run a bath?

Peachy · 17/10/2011 16:48

Lock on top of door or barrel bolt you can take the barrel out of when not in use (we have similar problem wrt to locking in with the boys)

loveglove · 17/10/2011 16:51

I have to say I don't get the "instapoo" thing (unless you are ill with diarrhoea). You KNOW you are going to need/brewing a poo before it's hanging out the back.

susiedaisy · 17/10/2011 16:54

methe GrinGrinGrin

mercibucket · 17/10/2011 16:54

that is utterly utterly utterly grim

whackamole · 17/10/2011 16:55

Vile YANBU.

This is why I tell people when I about to embark on a bath, because I don't want the room to be stunk out!

I don't believe he can't wait till you finish your wee before he comes in an pees in the sink. That is disgusting. I bet he doesn't piss his pants when he is stuck in a traffic jam coming home from work.

thereisalightanditnevergoesout · 17/10/2011 16:55

You're not being precious - I won't let DH do this. I don't do poo in front of him and I don't want to be pooed in front of. And really peeing in the sink? He's either an animal or he need to get his prostate checked if her can't hold it.

YANBU - It's unacceptable and quite possibly grounds for divorce (I'm not entirely serious about that last bit, though if you were considering divorce for other reasons, I'm sure you could probably use it :) )

ouryve · 17/10/2011 16:55

I get the instapoo thing. I still manage to avoid adversely scenting DH's bath 99.9% of the time, though, though I might pop in for a wee. In the toilet.

dreamingbohemian · 17/10/2011 16:56

I don't really agree with 'if you have to go, you have to go' -- what would he do if he were in a business meeting? on the tube? at the supermarket? Sometimes you have to wait 15 minutes, it shouldn't be the end of the world.

Once in a while, sure, stomach problems, emergencies, I guess I can see needing to do this. But if it's happening regularly then I think there is something seriously wrong with him.

Are you having some kind of disagreement at the moment that maybe he's being passive-aggressive about?

HecateGoddessOfTheNight · 17/10/2011 16:57

Grin I do, nick

I agree with Nickelbabe

dreamingbohemian · 17/10/2011 16:58

I don't think a lock will sort this. He sounds vile enough to piss in the kitchen sink.

BehindLockNumberNine · 17/10/2011 16:58

I don't understand why he peed in the sink? Unless yet another member of the family was on the toilet? Did you ask him what on earth he was doing??

MumblingAndBloodyRagDoll · 17/10/2011 16:59

The OP was on the toilet.

IwoulddoPachacuti · 17/10/2011 16:59

This is a wind up surely?

ChippingInToThePumpkinLantern · 17/10/2011 16:59

This is another wind up thread isn't it :/

If not, then you need to talk to him properly. It is not normal, it is not acceptable.