OK Boarding School - this will make me Mrs Unpopular

[MsTownmouse]

AIBU for having sent my DS to boarding school. I have thought it through & I do love him & think it is the right thing

Just interested as a lot of people think that Boarding School and loving your child are mutually exclusive

pip pip

I have friends in the military whose children went when they were 11. They knew they would be moving around, and wanted them settled in one place. Both of them thrived, mainly because said parents spent every weekend they were allowed to with them, even if said children were already busy that weekend, just seeing them when the children wanted to see them.

I know of other children who were sent at 7. One child cried down the phone every single night he was allowed to speak to his parents for eight weeks till half term. If it had been my son I would have picked him up after the first week. They persevered and apparently he was fine. I couldn't have done it.

I really don't know that it makes their results better. Speaking personally, my children have all gone to state school and are academically the same as those I know who've gone to boarding school.

If you have nothing new to add why start yet another boarding thread? There are plenty of old ones.

I think this post is a wind-up but on the off chance I'm wrong..........
My DH boarded from 8 and loved it.
My DS boarded from 13 and loved it.
Of course they're both emotional husks but I like my men that way.

The other consideration is the childs temperament i.e. outgoing/ shy, robust/ sensitive. DD1 would not be ready at 10/11 because she is a real home bird and very sensitive, whereas dd2 is very robust, doesn't get phased by change and is much more social. I would worry that dd1 would find it difficult making new friends more than dd2, even though both are friendly and have plenty of friends now

Never did Boris Johnson any harm did it?

My sister is desperate to board! She is 11, don't you know it is all midnight feasts and other fun things.

YANBU if said boarding school is called Hogwarts.

'My sisters 3 kids are in boarding school...never my choice but it is hers as her husband is military and she would rather her husband to be home nightly than her kids! My interpretation but .....'

Sorry to be thick saw this on a tv show once , I still dont understand why a dad being in the military would be a reason to send your kids to boarding school, I'm genuinely wondering what the reasoning is??

PMSL @ grovel

(I am terribly vulgar)

How can you keep up a good relationship if you don't see your DH! Do children benefit from having parents who divorce? Its great if your DH is in a job where they are at home every weekend and can travel like that to a home elsewhere, unfortunately it isn't a reality in all cases.

Military kids change schools every two years and higher ranking soliders airmen sailors can. if they cn afford it, pay towards boarding fees so there is more continuity of education. One of my sister`s kids had 4 schools in 2 yrs due to movement. I still think she should have put down roots and hey had the stable bit instead of followiing her husband but that is just me. She would obviously disagree.

Rollon - because a) you're sent all over the world (I had 5 primary schools) and b) the forces pay the lion's share of the fees. Or they did anyway (not sure what the situation is now)

I went. Wish I hadn't.

Sorry to be thick saw this on a tv show once , I still dont understand why a dad being in the military would be a reason to send your kids to boarding school, I'm genuinely wondering what the reasoning is??

For continuity of education.

For example. My DS has weekly boarded (home weekends) since he was 12 as there were no decent secondary schools within a sensible distance and he wanted to attend the school he does. He's now 15 and this year we have been posted to Scotland, where they don't routinely do GCSE's, plus, even if they did, we would have to choose a school with the same exam board as my DS is half way through his GCSE's. So, we made the decision for him to then board full time for his last GCSE year. I hate it, but DS doesn't mind it (he loves school, but obviously misses us all as we miss him) and it was the best decision for our family as a whole.

t0lk13n

Not all children who have a parent in the military move schools every two years and continuity of education allowance is not rank dependant.

i doubt op really gives a shite what people think

Not only that, if you have a property elsewhere be it rented or on a mortgage the cost of paying the rent/ mortgage increases because the DH then has to pay for his accomodation on camp and food in pay as you dine/ takeaways if it isn't open, petrol to get to home and back so no cheaper than fees. Also my DH is currently in the south of England but could be posted to the very North of England which would be almost impossible to get home every weekend, getting back knackered for 1.5 days. At least if they board in a central place then visiting is possible.

Didn`t mean all and it may not be rank dependant but not many in the lower ranks would be able to afford the contribution.

Midori I know that as my DH is military NCO but looking to commission. We have been static for 6 years but if he commissions then we are very likely to be moving every 2 years due to the job he hopes to go into.

tOLK that simply isn't true, because with childcare vouchers, child benefit, tax credits for single mother it is achievable, infact my friend was a LCpl when her dd went at 12 yo.

FWIW it doesn't work out any more for one child to board than it does to have childcare for a child under 5.

Whatever! I disagree with it and you disagree with my view.

They also have fantastic opportunities to join so many activities and learn instruments not offered in state schools, in the teenage years they give structure and discipline instead of hanging out with friends unsupervised who knows where after school.

Have you actually been in a state school at any point this century Anxious? Believe it or not its not all glue sniffing and playing the tambourine. And hanging out with friends unsupervised - well, that's up to the parents isn't it? I imagine there's plenty of opportunity to get up to unsupervised mischief in a boarding school as well...

poor kids

Wilson yes I have and the ones in my area I would prefer dds don't attend. There are some outstanding schools where I originate from but unfortunately as a military family you get what you are given, where there is space, there is no choice as you often move house with 6 weeks notice.

why are you asking online strangers?expect a kicking
frankly,no one knows you or him -if you have doubts ask a pal in rl.is your job so incompatible that boarding is only option?

i have worked with and know some v balanced boarders,contrary to popular opinion they aren't necessarily emotionally starved fuckups