Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to say that if you are a single parent..

124 replies

chickentikkatellmethetruth · 14/10/2011 20:18

....I take my hat off to you. I really do.

I've been sick for the last two weeks and miserable because DH has been away for half of it and it's been a struggle.

I can't imagine how it must feel to do it alone all, or most of the time.

I really hope this doesn't sound patronising, I just wanted to say, you know, well done you guys.

Cheers Wine

OP posts:
cjbartlett · 14/10/2011 20:20

it's not the same though because you get to ring dh up all the time and know he's coming back

but I see what you're saying

Original poster
chickentikkatellmethetruth · 14/10/2011 20:20

Eh? I know it's not the same, that's the whole purpose of my post!

OP posts:
stubbornstains · 14/10/2011 20:21

Thanks.

cjbartlett · 14/10/2011 20:22

oops Grin

I see... bit tipsy on pinot Blush

scuzy · 14/10/2011 20:23

as much as i agree with OP and i have the utmost respect for single parents (be it mum or dad) sometimes having a partner especially in these times with financial worries it can be just as lonely and tough.

we all do a good job!

GypsyMoth · 14/10/2011 20:24

Thing is, we cope because we know we have to

And I plan in advance. A full medicine cupboard always. Petrol in the car, spare everything!

Be prepared is my motto

( lone parent to 5)

Theyremybiscuits · 14/10/2011 20:26

I thank you OP (takes small bow)

I have just arranged to have an afternoon xmas shopping in Dec with small wine breaks!

I am hoping my Dad will be able to watch the DCs as I haven't been out without them in over a year. They don't see their Dad much. He's very busy indeed.
he's got a new girlfriend

crazynannawitchbitch · 14/10/2011 20:27

Agree with ILT...it's all in the planning [hsmile] (LP to 3)

cjbartlett · 14/10/2011 20:28

yes it's like me saying to full time working mothers 'I don't know how you cope'
because I honestly don't know how they do but I'm sure they'd say a) because they have to and b) it's all in the planning Smile

aldiwhore · 14/10/2011 20:29

To be honest, nothing compares to lonliness, and when DH is away I really do revel in being queen bee apart from the cuddles on demand. I know some exeptionally happy single mums, and some exceptionally lonely (un)single mums.

But I do understand where you're coming from OP... for myself, I wouldn't cope well being utterly single. But for my mate who's single, the idea of being in a relationship gives her the heebies.

In the manner it was intended I get you. Though I suspect there's many a single mum and not single mum who would argue, rightly, that you've assumed a lot in your OP!! Smile No harm meant.

DogsBeastFiend · 14/10/2011 20:29

Or all in the muddling through! :o (LP to 2).

LifeIsButtercream · 14/10/2011 20:29

All I can say is thanks! [hsmile]

AngieWatts · 14/10/2011 20:29

I have long thought than rather than bashing single parents, we should be taking our bloody hats off to the majority, who do a tough job alone. I'm not a single parent,but my mum was, and now I am a mother myself I see how hard she worked to keep the whole show on the road.

Single parents - I salute you!

Original poster
chickentikkatellmethetruth · 14/10/2011 20:29

How is "I can't imagine how it must feel" the same as saying "I don't know how you cope" then? Confused

OP posts:
gordyslovesheep · 14/10/2011 20:31

No I get the sentiment - thanks - although I find it easier than having to cope with a fourth stroppy moody child aka my ex Grin

ToothbrushThief · 14/10/2011 20:33

Thank you.
Smile
Working LP to 3

ToothbrushThief · 14/10/2011 20:34

Someone's going to get arsey over the 'working' bit

Grin

It's tongue in cheek in response to cj

I'm with dogs about muddling through!

FagAshLill · 14/10/2011 20:36

Awww, thank you x

stubbornstains · 14/10/2011 20:36

This thread is making me feel all warm and fluffy. Nice wine too.

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow · 14/10/2011 20:37

YABU

I was a shit-hot mother when I was married and I'm a shit-hot mother now I'm a single parent.

The fact that I had a partner at some point is irrelevant. Didn't make the slightest bit of difference to my parenting. Why would it?

adamschic · 14/10/2011 20:37

I had the worst of both worlds, single and working full time, not in a 'I employ a nanny' situation either. Worked just to pay the mortgage and got very little in benefits. I only had one and she is 18 soon so reckon I've done it!

PeterSpanswick · 14/10/2011 20:39

When I'm counting down the minutes til DH gets home and I can have five minutes of Fricking peace time to myself, I often think this. Single parents are saints!

CurrySpice · 14/10/2011 20:41

I'll take all the plaudits going. I'm a plaudit whore Wink

I think most mothers do an amazing job tbh!

Signed
Full time working LP to 2 (but with a pretty supportive ex and a BF on the side) :o

scuzy · 14/10/2011 20:43

i think support networks be in extended family or friends or neighbours make a difference also. hats off to all mums!

meltedchocolate · 14/10/2011 20:44

scuzy it is not the same at all (sorry to be blunt). like when financial things are stressful for a singleton you have no one to moan at/ cry at/ yell at/ hug etc The loneliness is not the same either. I would love just to see someone else in the house on occasion. Even if I didn't talk to them much or at all. I have done both and in no way could it ever be described as 'just as'.

Anywho... being a mum is lovely. You just get on with it all. You get used to the physical side of it all. I don't remember what it is like to share parenting with anyone now so :) In a way physically it was harder when DH left and I was expecting him back. Now I know he will never be around I will never get a lie in I just get on with it and try not to think of that fact :o

Swipe left for the next trending thread