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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to say that if you are a single parent..

124 replies

chickentikkatellmethetruth · 14/10/2011 20:18

....I take my hat off to you. I really do.

I've been sick for the last two weeks and miserable because DH has been away for half of it and it's been a struggle.

I can't imagine how it must feel to do it alone all, or most of the time.

I really hope this doesn't sound patronising, I just wanted to say, you know, well done you guys.

Cheers Wine

OP posts:
cjbartlett · 14/10/2011 20:20

it's not the same though because you get to ring dh up all the time and know he's coming back

but I see what you're saying

Original poster
chickentikkatellmethetruth · 14/10/2011 20:20

Eh? I know it's not the same, that's the whole purpose of my post!

OP posts:
stubbornstains · 14/10/2011 20:21

Thanks.

cjbartlett · 14/10/2011 20:22

oops Grin

I see... bit tipsy on pinot Blush

scuzy · 14/10/2011 20:23

as much as i agree with OP and i have the utmost respect for single parents (be it mum or dad) sometimes having a partner especially in these times with financial worries it can be just as lonely and tough.

we all do a good job!

GypsyMoth · 14/10/2011 20:24

Thing is, we cope because we know we have to

And I plan in advance. A full medicine cupboard always. Petrol in the car, spare everything!

Be prepared is my motto

( lone parent to 5)

Theyremybiscuits · 14/10/2011 20:26

I thank you OP (takes small bow)

I have just arranged to have an afternoon xmas shopping in Dec with small wine breaks!

I am hoping my Dad will be able to watch the DCs as I haven't been out without them in over a year. They don't see their Dad much. He's very busy indeed.
he's got a new girlfriend

crazynannawitchbitch · 14/10/2011 20:27

Agree with ILT...it's all in the planning [hsmile] (LP to 3)

cjbartlett · 14/10/2011 20:28

yes it's like me saying to full time working mothers 'I don't know how you cope'
because I honestly don't know how they do but I'm sure they'd say a) because they have to and b) it's all in the planning Smile

aldiwhore · 14/10/2011 20:29

To be honest, nothing compares to lonliness, and when DH is away I really do revel in being queen bee apart from the cuddles on demand. I know some exeptionally happy single mums, and some exceptionally lonely (un)single mums.

But I do understand where you're coming from OP... for myself, I wouldn't cope well being utterly single. But for my mate who's single, the idea of being in a relationship gives her the heebies.

In the manner it was intended I get you. Though I suspect there's many a single mum and not single mum who would argue, rightly, that you've assumed a lot in your OP!! Smile No harm meant.

DogsBeastFiend · 14/10/2011 20:29

Or all in the muddling through! :o (LP to 2).

LifeIsButtercream · 14/10/2011 20:29

All I can say is thanks! [hsmile]

AngieWatts · 14/10/2011 20:29

I have long thought than rather than bashing single parents, we should be taking our bloody hats off to the majority, who do a tough job alone. I'm not a single parent,but my mum was, and now I am a mother myself I see how hard she worked to keep the whole show on the road.

Single parents - I salute you!

Original poster
chickentikkatellmethetruth · 14/10/2011 20:29

How is "I can't imagine how it must feel" the same as saying "I don't know how you cope" then? Confused

OP posts:
gordyslovesheep · 14/10/2011 20:31

No I get the sentiment - thanks - although I find it easier than having to cope with a fourth stroppy moody child aka my ex Grin

ToothbrushThief · 14/10/2011 20:33

Thank you.
Smile
Working LP to 3

ToothbrushThief · 14/10/2011 20:34

Someone's going to get arsey over the 'working' bit

Grin

It's tongue in cheek in response to cj

I'm with dogs about muddling through!

FagAshLill · 14/10/2011 20:36

Awww, thank you x

stubbornstains · 14/10/2011 20:36

This thread is making me feel all warm and fluffy. Nice wine too.

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow · 14/10/2011 20:37

YABU

I was a shit-hot mother when I was married and I'm a shit-hot mother now I'm a single parent.

The fact that I had a partner at some point is irrelevant. Didn't make the slightest bit of difference to my parenting. Why would it?

adamschic · 14/10/2011 20:37

I had the worst of both worlds, single and working full time, not in a 'I employ a nanny' situation either. Worked just to pay the mortgage and got very little in benefits. I only had one and she is 18 soon so reckon I've done it!

PeterSpanswick · 14/10/2011 20:39

When I'm counting down the minutes til DH gets home and I can have five minutes of Fricking peace time to myself, I often think this. Single parents are saints!

CurrySpice · 14/10/2011 20:41

I'll take all the plaudits going. I'm a plaudit whore Wink

I think most mothers do an amazing job tbh!

Signed
Full time working LP to 2 (but with a pretty supportive ex and a BF on the side) :o

scuzy · 14/10/2011 20:43

i think support networks be in extended family or friends or neighbours make a difference also. hats off to all mums!

meltedchocolate · 14/10/2011 20:44

scuzy it is not the same at all (sorry to be blunt). like when financial things are stressful for a singleton you have no one to moan at/ cry at/ yell at/ hug etc The loneliness is not the same either. I would love just to see someone else in the house on occasion. Even if I didn't talk to them much or at all. I have done both and in no way could it ever be described as 'just as'.

Anywho... being a mum is lovely. You just get on with it all. You get used to the physical side of it all. I don't remember what it is like to share parenting with anyone now so :) In a way physically it was harder when DH left and I was expecting him back. Now I know he will never be around I will never get a lie in I just get on with it and try not to think of that fact :o

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