AIBU to tell them to piss off?!

[BabyMama212]

I've got a beautiful 3-month-old son, he was 9lb 4 at birth and is now a rather hefty 14lb 1lb. Today I gave him his first taste of baby rice and he loved it.

The reasons why I gave him baby rice today are as follows:

• He started sleeping through the night at seven weeks, but now he wakes for a feed again.
• Halfway through his feed he tries to physically push his bottle away, then complains because he is still hungry
• He chews his hands before and after each feed
• He is absolutely fascinated with our food and drink
• He tries to pick up our food
• God help us if we sit down to a meal and he isn't there. He'll even wake up from a nap if he realizes we're eating without him.
• He refuses to nap during the daytime when before he would sleep for two hours at a time and then be awake for 4-5. And if he DOES nap, he'll sleep for maybe half-an-hour, then get grumpy because he is very tired.

The trouble is that obviously, this incited the wrath of several mums I know who went ballistic on me for weaning before the 17-week mark. I've said that it's my decision, all of the signs are there and they've been there long enough for me to know that this isn't just a growth-spurt but a real thing, but of course they won't listen. One even borderline-accused me of child abuse.

I've told them to butt out and stop being so judgeypants, as I didn't judge them on deciding to start their child on pureéd food at the age of eight months, but they've really upset me.

I realize that the guidelines are there for a reason... but guidelines and just that - GUIDELINES! Aren't they? I'm prepared for abuse from other people on here, but I just want to know.... AIBU?!

What's the problem with introducing stuff at 13 weeks?

When DS was a baby (nearly 11 years ago) it was fairly standard advice. I introduced baby rice fruit and veg at 13 weeks and now at nearly 11 is he a allergy filled stomach damaged obese growth stunted child? errr no he is 5'3" very sporty, getting level 5/6's, a Wii bmi of 16, no allergies and eats whatever he is given etc

It's a crazy world......

Sorry for not reading the whole thread. I don't think YABU about the other mums. I think 3-4months is difficult regarding babies naps and sleeping in general, my 4month old is quite grizzly at the moment. Guidlines, yes they are just a guide, you should trust your instinct as a mother.

I weaned my DD, 1st child, at 5.5 months... she was born 6wks prem so maybe some people would have waited longer but she seemed ready, was quite sturdy and could sit well. However, never bothered much with baby rice, to me its a bit of a non-food, have you tasted it? Its bland, boring and most of the nutrition will still come from the milk you mix with it so again pointless.

If you're heading down the weaning route, why not try pureed veg and meat, flavour and nutrients.

Oh and the chewing hands and pushing his bottle away... babies start teething months before any teeth actually appear. Just a thought, good luck.

Jesus I'm off to A&E right now I've obviously damaged him irrepairably ffs BabyMama YA SO NBU

cinamon ihave a 12yr old the advice then was 4-6mths NOT 13wks. he was weaned at 6mths.

and fabby a farelys rusk in a bottle really? i think you are just posting rubbish in order to get a response. putting anything other than milk ina bottle isnt recomended because of choking and farleys rusks are full of sugar and crap food for babies.

Sorry I havent read all 11 pages, so apologies if most of it has already been said, but I just wanted to add my tuppence worth.

Its totally irelevant whether or not some of the posters on here weaned early and their children are now fine, anecdotal evidence is worthless and doubtlessly there will also be plenty of people who weaned early and now have coeliacs!

BatsUpMeNightie" I can absolutely guarantee you that nothing bad will come of feeding baby a little baby rice. My strapping intelligent healthy 21 year old is proof of that!" No, your 21 year old is not proof of that, he is proof that in your particular circumstance no complications have arisen yet. And you cannot possibly guarantee that nothing bad will happen. See numerous studies on negative side effects of early weaning for evidence.

All you can do is to look at the information and studies out there and make an informed decision based on those resources.
In my opinion you are mad to wean that early. At that age babies still have a stomach that leaks directly into their bloodstream, they are completely incapable of digesting solids.
Nothing you write suggests your DS is ready for weaning, even together, they are just normal developmental milestones.
He is fascinated with your food because he wants to understand what it is, and at this age they are begining to want to hold objects.

The growth spurt at this age is really easy to confuse with early weaning signs, but it really is just a growth spurt. Increase milk and be patient, it will end, but please don't give him solids.

Your reasoning seems a bit feeble, tbh. DS3 was a whopper of a baby, 10lb4oz at birth (2 weeks overdue), and has continued to be huge ever since (was over 20lb by 6mo) - so he's always had a big appetite (he is bf). He slept like a dream until 4 months, sleeping through from 6 weeks old. Then he started waking a lot more, chewing fists etc - most of the 'signs' you mention.

Yes, it was not great, but still totally normal. And definitely not enough for me to arrogantly assume I knew better than the current guidelines, which have been in place for several years. I just offered him milk more often, we got through it. I started weaning him at 23 weeks.

I don't get the whole 'Hey, they're just guidelines' thing - of course they are just guidelines, they can't be rules because even the most nannyish of nanny state governments wouldn't proscribe people's conduct to the extent of making it illegal to wean a baby before 17 weeks. That doesn't mean you're not a numpty for ignoring what are 'just guidelines'.

Oh god I have read the rest of the thread.

Clearly you are going to ignore my advice if you're willing to ignore every sensible piece of research out there.

Oh and can we please stop with all this "do what you think is best for your child" shite? We shouldn't just do what we think is best unless we have fully researched the idea! For example, if I woke up one morning and thought it might be the best thing for dd to feed her nothing but hot cross buns for 4 weeks would you all be saying "oh never you mind all these people telling you how damaging that would be and all the research behind it, you just do what you think is best you moron"

I weaned my DD a bit early. She was a bit over five months. But I didn't do it because she was looking at food or waking up or chewing her hands, because all those things can be signs of something else (like, er, being a very young baby). I did it because at five months she had the coordination to remove a biscuit from a packet at a picnic, put it in her mouth, take a bite and chew and swallow it. She had speedily eaten half a biscuit extremely neatly before I'd even noticed what she was up to. At that point I thought perhaps some fruit or veg would be a better option than a Jaffa Cake. I think she was ready, although I had planned to wait until six months. Unfortunately she didn't get to a banana first!

Your baby is just doing normal baby things, OP. They put everything in their mouths. They look at anything you are interested in. They chew their hands all the time and lick and suck anything they can get to their mouths.

FWIW, I think the actual signs that a baby is ready to eat solid food are

• being able to sit up unaided
• being able to convey food to their mouths and take a bite
• being able to chew and swallow and not just push the food back out with their tongues

If none of those are present, particularly the last, I would not offer solid food personally.

Most children who are weaned early won't be harmed but some will. Why would you take that chance? Most children who sit unrestrained in the back of a car will be fine. Some will not. It's not really that different.

Baby rice in a bottle. Right-oh

I've met some lovely and some batshit-crazy HVs in my time but I would very much like to report meet yours, OP.

My mates think I shouldn't give my newborn gin. My great great great great grandmother swore by it and the advice changes all the time but I know my bubs and he is enormous so his liver obviously needs more. And he cries, and wakes me up sometimes, especially if DH and I are drinking gin. He sucks his fingers when he sees it and sometimes grasps for our glasses. AIBU?

Spot on WIC. You know your baby and we should always trust a mother's instincts, right? You will be dipping his dummy in whiskey or honey too, won't you?

Twattery abounds.

I genuinely know somebody who gave brandy to her baby on his dummy (recent ish, the child is 3yo). She also velcro'd him to the bed to stop him rolling. So make sure you do both Winter. It's a school of parenting.

I'm sick of one-handed typing while bfing. AIBU to wean 6wo ds?

Actually, just realised I haven't sewn DD in for the winter

AIBU to wean 6wo ds?

You are worse than ten thousand Hitlers. Or alternatively you know your baybee best and you shouldn't listen to the haterz, hun.

From the British Dietetic Position Statement

"3.6 Developmental signs of readiness to feed
There is a five-week gestational age range of term babies (born between 37 and 42 weeks gestation) and babies grow and develop at different rates. This means some infants will be ready to begin weaning at an earlier postnatal age than others rather than all being ready on one postnatal day (Platt 2009). Mothers usually begin weaning large infants and male infants earlier than others (Wright et al 2004).
In practice the developmental signs that suggest that an infant is ready to accept solid foods are:
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Putting toys and other objects in the mouth
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Chewing fists
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Watching others with interest when they are eating
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Seeming hungry between milk feeds or demanding feeds more often even though larger milk feeds have been offered
These developmental signs are generally seen between 4 and 6 months and this seems to be the best time to start solids because from this age infants learn to accept new tastes and textures relatively quickly (Harris 2000).
Waking at night: Around 4 to 6 months infants may be sleeping less, and may begin to wake again during the night. However night-time waking and crying are not necessarily signs of hunger at this age. Unfortunately many parents hope that weaning onto solid food will help their infant sleep through the night. "

"What's the problem with introducing stuff at 13 weeks"

The increase in bowel cancer (in the child at 50's), has been connected to early weaning, many parents are not probably still around or will not make the connection, themselves.

The research and it's findings are there, you can judge for yourself.

Any 'food' which is put into a bottle can enter the lungs, rather than the stomach, as a worst case senario, this can build up and cause chest infections or pheumonia.

Alot of people go over the top on here. When people say you tend to know best when it is your own. It is down to the point that all babies,children and adults are different and are ready for new things at different times.
E.g Some babies learn to walk at 10 months some do not till later.
Development differs so much and this is also true when it comes to internel development. Some are early some are late and then there are a wide number in the middle (right time) area.
By saying you know best is not knocking every doctor or health advisor. It is just saying you know the guidlines, you know the "signs" and you know your child.
Its not saying "i felt like giving, so i did ,my baby my rules".. Its about what you see best and no parent is going to feed a child on hot cross buns all day every day. Thats a very thin point to put across. That is having your view and deeming everyone else who thinks different as stupid!

Tierdmummy: I'm assuming that was aimed at me. Yes all children are ready for things at different times - point accepted. But within that there is a small range of time within which the child is actually ready for it because of differences in development.
For example whilst a child might walk at 10 months or 15 months, they won't walk at 5 months.

Your point about walking doesn't apply here- that is something the child does only when it is developmentally ready, and you cannot force it any earlier.
You can with weaning. By, for example, putting baby rice in a bottle. And a lot of the "signs" of readiness can be misread or open to personal interpretation, hence the guidelines that we have in place. As in my opinion they have been here. The signs the OP quotes are nothing to do with readiness for weaning, and are normal developmental stages that all children go through. However well the OP knows her child a large part of being ready is being digestively mature enough to handle anything other than milk. Which comes with age, at 6 months, and would be entirely impossible to know.

www.nhs.uk/start4life/pages/no-rush-to-mush.aspx

See here for NHS weaning guidelines, the OP does not mention any of these.

Of course you shouldn't blindly accept the guidelines but doing what you think is best relies on knowing what is actually best which means doing some research.
By saying you know best is by definition saying you know better than the research that is out there. In some cases its probably true, for example the recent guidelines on women drinking during pregnancy has been changed to complete abstention - I intend to have the occasional glass of wine because having researched it it appears that the guidelines have been changed to prevent misinterpretation and confusion and not based on any new evidence. They also say that it is binge drinking that is harmful.

However, the research on which the guidelines for which weaning are formed has not been changed. And the research behind them is solid and well documented.

You say "its about what you see best and no parent is going to feed a child on hot cross buns all day every day." Well why the fuck not? If we're ignoring the guidlines and I know my child and think that would be best (however moronic that view may be) then what exactly is the difference?
And to be honest, I do think that weaning at 13 weeks is pretty stupid yeah. But at least I've based my opinion on the facts and not what I think is best.

Read the whole post...gah so annoying.

Rusk/Baby Rice in a bottle? Give over.

feelmywarth and boooooooyooo are talking sense.

Of course you would not put rice in a bottle, No 1 drinks food why would you think a baby would? Again that is common sence. I was just pointing out that the best person to know when a baby is ready for weaning is the mum, as she is there day and night with baby. Of course some times it is not the case and you become aware of it by the way your baby reacts. Everyone knows the facts and advice GOD it is drilled into new mums all the way through their care, but you have to understand that it does differ. Slating everyone who does things different is just not right because in their shoes it might of been for the best.

Well, except, tierdmummy, that the OP is putting baby rice into a bottle. After having been told, on here, by a lot of people, that she knows best.

My babynstarted resisting the straps in her car seat at about 14 weeks. She used to cry and struggle and pushed at my hands when I tried to do them up. So I put her in the front seat propped up with a couple of cushions and she was so much happier. Obviously she was ready to movement from the baby seat. After all, guidelines are just guidelines, and rules about car seats keep changing- I never had a bay seat and neither did any of my generation- and none of us came to any harm......

seeker I read your post like this at the start then my brain started to get into gear and am now more like this

I hate the whole you know whats best for your baby- That statement only works when it is balanced with a good understanding of the guidelines, specialist medical advice (HV/MW/GP).

My DS was ready for chocolate at 11months, and he ate it really happily, so we kept giving it to him, because he liked it, ate it all up and isn't coco good for you? Blimey the rational that some apply here is mind boggling.

Lastly, all the "anecdotal" evidence is not born out as you do not know what health issues you have as a result of FF, passive smoking, early weaning, CC etc etc etc.

Alright, hang on for just one second.

I'm not "ignoring" the health regulations. I stated my reasons for wanting to try him on it because they are my reasons for trying him on it. I'm not putting my fingers in my ears and singing "lalala" merely so I can prove a point - I GENUINELY wanted to know if what I thought was right, and my HV agreed with me.

Secondly, the only thing I'd agree with some of you about is putting it in the bottle. He doesn't like that, so we're feeding him with a spoon. And he loves it.

And just because my HV agreed with me DOES NOT MEAN you get to call into question her entire medical career for gods sake! Some of you are so goddamn arrogant about it all! You're right, even when a health professional tells you otherwise? FGS. Just because she actually agreed with me isn't a reason to go all bloody petulant on the rest of us for crying out loud.

You don't need to throw buns around, so get down off your high horse, pull down your judgeypants and try being nice for once. Because at this rate I'm regretting ever mentioning anything. The ones who agree with me are being openly ridiculed, the ones who don't seem to believe that they have more authority over my baby than I do and the rest of you seem to think I just started this for absolutely no reason other than to watch it all go into chaos.

Oh, and as a final point?

He wakes for a feed again? - BEING A BABY
He rejects his bottle then complains he's still hungry - BEING A BABY
He chews his hands before and after each feed - BEING A BABY
He is absolutely fascinated with our food and drink - BEING A BABY
He tries to pick up our food - BEING A BABY
He refuses to nap during the daytime. - BEING A BABY

If they aren't the signs of weaning then what the bloody hell are? And why is it that every single book/leaflet/discussion on weaning I see list them as the signs of weaning if they aren't?! And don't say "able to sit up", because that isn't a sign of weaning at all. It would happen anyway, regardless of whether they were on solids or liquids, so it's just a sign of growing up.

I'm honestly surprised at some of the reactions on here. Are you all TWELVE? I get that I'm new here but it's hardly going to give me a good impression of you all if you just stoop to insulting me, calling me all kinds of names. I think I'll just leave. I wanted a genuine opinion and instead I get crucified. You should be ashamed.

She isn't putting baby rice in a bottle after being told she knows best by people on here, she's doing it because she says the hv told her to. Although why a hv would say that I don't know

My 1st ds was weened just before 4 months on the advice of the hv but at the time the guidelines were 4 months and ds1 was nearly four weeks late (so if hed been born on time hed have been nearly 5 months) and 11lb 2 oz at birth so was nearly 20 lb by this point

Yabu at 3 months he doesn't need food, most baby's go through phases of waking in the night weening my 3 didn't make the slightest bit of difference

Also he's not even that big apparently the average baby is around the 16 lb Mark at 5-6 months when they are usually weened so I'm sure you could have held off the baby rice for abit longer