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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to tell them to piss off?!

325 replies

BabyMama212 · 10/10/2011 21:14

I've got a beautiful 3-month-old son, he was 9lb 4 at birth and is now a rather hefty 14lb 1lb. Today I gave him his first taste of baby rice and he loved it.

The reasons why I gave him baby rice today are as follows:

  • He started sleeping through the night at seven weeks, but now he wakes for a feed again.
  • Halfway through his feed he tries to physically push his bottle away, then complains because he is still hungry
  • He chews his hands before and after each feed
  • He is absolutely fascinated with our food and drink
  • He tries to pick up our food
  • God help us if we sit down to a meal and he isn't there. He'll even wake up from a nap if he realizes we're eating without him.
  • He refuses to nap during the daytime when before he would sleep for two hours at a time and then be awake for 4-5. And if he DOES nap, he'll sleep for maybe half-an-hour, then get grumpy because he is very tired.

The trouble is that obviously, this incited the wrath of several mums I know who went ballistic on me for weaning before the 17-week mark. I've said that it's my decision, all of the signs are there and they've been there long enough for me to know that this isn't just a growth-spurt but a real thing, but of course they won't listen. One even borderline-accused me of child abuse.

I've told them to butt out and stop being so judgeypants, as I didn't judge them on deciding to start their child on pureéd food at the age of eight months, but they've really upset me.

I realize that the guidelines are there for a reason... but guidelines and just that - GUIDELINES! Aren't they? I'm prepared for abuse from other people on here, but I just want to know.... AIBU?!

OP posts:
NinkyNonker · 10/10/2011 21:28

Yes, but the op specifically asked for opinions. So, she has received them.

BatsUpMeNightie · 10/10/2011 21:29

Bit rich to accuse the OP of 'recklessness' duvetday - who exactly are you to do that?

Kayano · 10/10/2011 21:29

This was probs not the place for a balanced response...

While I don't know what I'll do once little one arrives, the reaction you have got is as though thou have just confessed to feeding your baby toxins and washing them in bleach Hmm

It is a very emotive topic

hands extra armour

Blueberties · 10/10/2011 21:29

I think the six month rule is important for breast feeding because if they're hungrier, they stimulate more milk and so on. But there's no reason not to give a few carrots and beans, I think the least atopic foods are pear, erm, can't remember. You can look it up. Don't beat yourself up. Babies used to be weaned at ten pounds. It's true there are more allergic kids around but that's probably more to do with other environmental factors. I would just avoid wheat that's all and the obvious like, whatever, strawbs and tomatoes and stuff like that. Eggs are banned too aren't they until god knows what age.

BatsUpMeNightie · 10/10/2011 21:30

It is an emotive subject and the best possible advice for the OP is to do what she feels is right for her and her baby.

Calling her names and issuing warnings of certain doom in later years is really extremely unhelpful.

overthehillmum · 10/10/2011 21:31

21 years ago my daughter was still on milk at 5 months old, she was a month early, my son born 14 months later was on baby rice at 3 months old, he was huge and really seemed to need it, moved him onto fruit and veg shortly after, he is a big strapping 6ft 2 inches lad, I would hate to be bring kids up now with all the guidelines that around now. Yanbu, follow your common sense.

workshy · 10/10/2011 21:32

my DD is only 8 and the advice was 12 weeks or 12lbs, whichever came sooner!

it's your baby and as long as you aren't blitzing up a happy meal, I don't see the harm

troisgarcons · 10/10/2011 21:32

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet.

duvetdayplease · 10/10/2011 21:32

For those who say 'I did this years ago and none of mine got fat/allergies/whatever' that is like saying 'I smoked twenty a day and didn't get lung cancer' - doesn't mean everyone who smokes 20 a day will be fine. Probability says each individual baby fed before the guidelines is unlikely to get the problems, but you increase their risk of having the problems by feeding early.

But we all take different risks with our own and our children's health, it just seems sensible to me to be honest about what the actual medical risks are.

isthisweird · 10/10/2011 21:32

I wouldn't do it but I wouldn't criticise you to your face for it.

I have friends like this who were obsessed that every little change indicated a need for solids. My babies changed loads between newborn and 6 months but bumped along just fine on milk in that period. And one of them was 10 pounds at birth so ner.

BatsUpMeNightie · 10/10/2011 21:33

Also one really does have to wonder how on earth previous generations managed to raise children without the assistance of all these fucking stupid guidelines and nanny-state imposed recommendations. Have we all lost the ability to think? To ask the mothers, aunts, female relatives in our lives? Or do we just blindly and unthinkingly do what a load of know-nothing non parents tell us because they're paid to say something, anything........Ridiculous!

MrsPresley · 10/10/2011 21:34

Guidelines are just that guidelines!

I had my first baby 28 years ago and the last one 10 years ago, I couldnt believe the difference in "guidelines", but I used my own common sense/experience and instinct.

My first 2 (twins) starting weaning around 3/4 months

3rd was 11 months

4th was 3 months

5th was 5 months

Babies are all different!

Originalviperspit · 10/10/2011 21:34

Please read this

Especially the First section on why wait till six months.

If you still decide that you want to keep filling him with what is essentially horrible gloop that has no real nutritional benefit to him, then do as you please. Just don't look for sympathy in a few years time should he develop health/eating problems.

The fact that your friends are telling you that 12/13 weeks is WAY too early to even start weaning should show they care about you and your baby. 17 weeks is set as a minimum for a reason. It's not to make life difficult for you.

BatsUpMeNightie · 10/10/2011 21:34

Christ on a bike - the smoking brigade is here! OP - don't let your baby smoke just yet - apparently it might not be good for him!

pictish · 10/10/2011 21:35

"weaning is one of those that everyone has an opinion on"

I'm not being argumentative (honestly) but I don't. I couldn't give a toss about it. When other people choose to wean their babies doesn't interest me at all.

I have three kids and every one of them was weaned at a different stage for different reasons. Two I weaned early on the advice of the HV, as that was what was best for them.

Why does anyone else care?

BatsUpMeNightie · 10/10/2011 21:36

Well said Pictish

ballstoit · 10/10/2011 21:36

When you feed him his baby rice, does he swallow it straight away, or do you have to do the scoop and put it back in several times? IMO that's the surest sign of readiness to wean...if his gag reflex is still doing it's stuff then he's not ready for weaning.

None of what you've described is very convincing...more of a sign that he's having a growth spurt.

YABU to moan about others judgeypants and then have a dig about how they feed their own DC. You seem to have told people in the hope you would get a debate. By the time I got to no.3, I had no interest in the competition, and still don't. They're not going to be adding the age they were weaned and potty trained to their CV in 20 years time are they?

NinkyNonker · 10/10/2011 21:37

Hiding now. I have been very polite, yet dismissed as ridiculous etc which is not the basis of a reasonable, adult discussion. The op asked for opinions, she has received them. Amazingly, more agree with her. Whilst I follow nothing blindly (how patronising) it is amazingly arrogant to assume you know all. I wonder how many of these posters were ridiculing those who chose not to vaccinate for the same reasons espoused on here?

Has it ever crossed anyone's mind that guidelines change over time as new information comes to light?

duvetdayplease · 10/10/2011 21:38

Often the advice changes because there is more investigation done. 50 years ago there were no studies and practice was very different. No-one had even investigated the links between early feeding and asthma/eczema then, so how could there be advice?

Doctors used to recommend cigarettes. Now they tell us they cause lung cancer.

Kids used to ride in the back without seatbelts. Now we put babies in rear facing seats.

Things change, times move on, doctors do new research. The 17 week advice is pretty unambiguous.

SHRIIIEEEKPoolingBearBlood · 10/10/2011 21:39

Wow this thread is a walking cliche
I will add "happy mama = happy bubs" and shout BINGO

purplehonesty · 10/10/2011 21:40

I bf my lo til 14 months, didn't wean him til 7 months cos he wasn't interested, then fed him organic fruit/veg/the purest most loveliest things you could spend three hours making.
He is allergic to bread, bananas, porridge
Go figure

ScaredBear · 10/10/2011 21:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Kick2down · 10/10/2011 21:41

Yanbu. It's amazing how worked up people can get over the feeding of other people's babies. Tell them to fuck off and get a life.

AchtungBaby · 10/10/2011 21:41

Grin at Stealth's BINGO-ing.

pictish · 10/10/2011 21:42

Kick2down - I concur.

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