AIBU to tell them to piss off?!

[BabyMama212]

I've got a beautiful 3-month-old son, he was 9lb 4 at birth and is now a rather hefty 14lb 1lb. Today I gave him his first taste of baby rice and he loved it.

The reasons why I gave him baby rice today are as follows:

• He started sleeping through the night at seven weeks, but now he wakes for a feed again.
• Halfway through his feed he tries to physically push his bottle away, then complains because he is still hungry
• He chews his hands before and after each feed
• He is absolutely fascinated with our food and drink
• He tries to pick up our food
• God help us if we sit down to a meal and he isn't there. He'll even wake up from a nap if he realizes we're eating without him.
• He refuses to nap during the daytime when before he would sleep for two hours at a time and then be awake for 4-5. And if he DOES nap, he'll sleep for maybe half-an-hour, then get grumpy because he is very tired.

The trouble is that obviously, this incited the wrath of several mums I know who went ballistic on me for weaning before the 17-week mark. I've said that it's my decision, all of the signs are there and they've been there long enough for me to know that this isn't just a growth-spurt but a real thing, but of course they won't listen. One even borderline-accused me of child abuse.

I've told them to butt out and stop being so judgeypants, as I didn't judge them on deciding to start their child on pureéd food at the age of eight months, but they've really upset me.

I realize that the guidelines are there for a reason... but guidelines and just that - GUIDELINES! Aren't they? I'm prepared for abuse from other people on here, but I just want to know.... AIBU?!

Do whatever you think is best.

Will you come back and tell us if your baby starts napping and sleeping through again?

Ah I see buttonmoon. And no worries I didn't read it as short.

I think the advice is pretty ambiguous really. The things the op describes can be signs. But it should be made more clear that showing a few signs don't definitely mean a young baby is ready.
HV's ime also seem keen to push weaning from 17 weeks onwards despite the advice. Particularly if the baby is big for their age (and in the case of my babies it was definitely more fat than early maturation). Maybe it is because they themselves weaned their children early and, as we can see on here, people are reluctant to believe research unless they have seen first-hand evidence of the damage that can be caused.
Also a lot of people wean early because they trust advice from their parents over their doctor. I definitely think if the guidelines were more clear a lot of babies would be weaned later.

Baby 1 (7lb 2oz) = No Solids at all till 6 months then 1 month of baby rice followed by introducing things one at a time and small amounts till about 10 months - very carefully. Now eats anything put in front of him

Baby 2 (9lb) = Eating three meals a day at 12 weeks (baby rice from 10 weeks) and at 2.5 years, still eating loads now - although skinny as a rake - eats anything put in front of him

Baby 3 (9lb) = at 7 months eats porridge, fruit and veg purees and fromage frais, bread, baby crisps things, banana etc - hated baby rice.

All my babies are fine and healthy - take from that what you will

To those saying babies sleep patterns change and they dont need solids - i think bollocks! they are hungry! That is all

All this talk of allergies is making me crave peanuts.

Jesus fucking christ on a bike.

What is it with allergies always dominating these threads. There is no evidence re allergies being linked to early weaning, late weaning, cravings in pregnancy etc etc.

For those of us with allergic DC's, who have to carry emergency kits with epi-pens etc, can tell you we all did differently and still all have allergic DC's. Yes research is ongoing but there is no hard evidence.

FWIW some of the mums on the allergy have found out their DC's are allergic when they are BF due to allergens passing through milk, or simply by kissing or even touching their child.

Also FWIW my DS wasn't born or raised in this country until he was 22 months, I had completely different advice from the UK.

blueberties, it was early weaning. The paed said of course there was always a chance dn would have reacted unfavourably to weaning at any age but she had a very immature gut, unsealed and badly damaged in a way that couldn't heal like it would in an older baby had it happened later. Rare though and she was developmentally young for 11 weeks too. No motor control, poor head control. And the rationale for weaning was she wanted a 3am feed. SIL made a poor decision based on something unrelated to readiness for solids. I don't want people to treat babies like robots, to blindly follow what seem like arbitrary rules to them. I want them supported to get through the hard bits of having a baby and empowered to understand what a baby is and how they behave instead of feeling they must get their baby sleeping through and on three meals a day asap when it's not what they need developmentally.

I parent by instinct. DD was weaned at the time I could clearly see she was ready. She was sitting up, physiologically ready and I ended up doing blw before I even knew it existed as a concept because my instincts told me to look at the child I had and support her physiological capabilities.

The cries of 'you know your baby' and 'follow your instincts' are falsely justifying the op's choices. She doesn't mention instinct, she lists her reasons for weaning clearly. And they're all nothing to do with weaning readiness. It's right that people address her reasoning and logic while it's badly flawed.

OP could you try giving a teething powder when your son is chewing his hands? Plus cloth/teether/giraffe to chew on. My DC was teething before 12 weeks, was still a bit colicky and pushing away from feeds because of wind at times. At that age, there was a big change in sleep patterns, particularly naps. Naturally developing more ability to move around and teething can make a 3 month old quite unsettled compared to a younger baby.

If the problem/part of the problem is teething, then you need to address that, and observe how your baby's behaviour changes. We found the Nelson's Teetha powders worked wonders on our DC, changing from a hand-chewing grumper, back to smiling baby. Some other babies get a better result with the Ashtons & Parsons powders.

My big concern with baby rice is that rice naturally absorbs arsenic from the soil, so you need to check where in the world the rice was grown - even baby rices have been found to contain arsenic -article here

I can't even remember talking to friends about when/if/how we weaned our babies, when we got together we were far too busy having adult chats and enjoying our wine coffee and cakes - no wonder (some) mothers get a bad name for droning on about such boring subjects - ie: boring to anyone apart from the actual parent and baby.

"- He is absolutely fascinated with our food and drink and probably the cat aswell but wouldn't digest it very well if you pureed it"

Boooooyhoo as a once-only father of an adult DS I wouldn't presume to get stuck into this thread except to thank you for giving me something to make me ROFL on an otherwise dull day with a deadly dull meeting due in half an hour :o

Lots of women around the world do what they think is best for their babies. Some are informed, some are not, some get it right, some dont. They all have one thing in common. They think they know best.

I know it cant be compared at all, but some perspective, bbc today reports that 400 children in Uttar Pradesh have died so far this monsoon due to drinking unsafe water. I bet those mothers too think they know what is best for their children when giving them water to drink.

My point is just that "you know your baby and you know what is best" is usually utter bollocks.

Oh BB trust you to be calm and diplomatic.

I just barged on in ^ and let it all out.

What clinches it for me with the put-to-sleep-on-their-back advice is that it has had a demonstrable result: the number of SIDS deaths decreased when the new advice was introduced.

So what about the new weaning advice that has now been around for some 8-10 years? Has there been a similar decrease in the number of young children diagnosed with autism and early onset diabetes?

What makes me suspicious is the fact that the increase in autism and (more noticeably) in early onset diabetes seemed to come at a time when the recommended weaning age had already been raised- it used to be 3 months, and then became 4. So you wonder why there was an increase between our childhood (when babies were regularly weaned at 12 weeks) and dcs' childhood (when the recommended time was 16 weeks)- you'd expect to see the opposite.

its only since 1950's tho that babies began to be weaned earlier, previous to that it was often as late as 9mths! so from the 1950's it was earlier, but for the last 30yrs the recomendation has been 4-6mths, with 6mths from 2002, i think its probably too soon to see a huge difference particularly as LOTS of parents actually IGNORE the guildlines anyway!

there is a growing body of evidence that the increase in crohns, ibs etc may be linked to early weaning, certainly not something that i would risk, particularly as i have a friend who has it and suffers a lot, incidentally his mum weaned him at 6wks! (he is 34)

6 wks sounds horrible, 4mad- and you could well understand how something like Crohn's or IBs could be related to early weaning.

I was wondering more about early onset diabetes, because my understanding was that this wasn't such a major problem in the 60s-90s, which is when the early weaning was rife (and which is a long enough time period for any effects to become apparent).

well with regards to diabetes my first thought would be that it is related to the KIND of foods that are more prevelant in childrens diets, processed, high in fats, sugars etc? there has been a huge rise in the market for this type of 'childrens food' in the last 15yrs? fizzy drinks, lots of sweets and high fat, processed foods are more likely to be the culprit for the rise in childhood diabetes? NOT saying that all diabetes in children is caused by this, some have genetic tendencies or other issue that will contribute, but the type of late onset diabetes that we are now seeing more of in children maybe diet is a factor in that?

and yes 6wks! because she didnt like the faff of bottles both of her children were weaned at this age (even her second who was premature!) and both now have issues with digestive problems etc :(

My Mum weaned my sister and I early and started with baby rice in bottles from about 6-8 weeks. She would say we are perfectly healthy and on the whole we are, but my sister has IBS and although I don't, I wouldn't say my digestive system is totally normal by a long way.

I weaned my boys early, the first two as they were 'big babies', and on HV advice, the third on medical advice as he has Downs Syndrome and a heart condition and was FTT. At 6 months old he only weighed 5.5KG, not much more than his brothers weighed at birth. Looking back, my older two boys certainly weren't ready and I don't think my youngest was either, he has bowel issues now and that could have been caused by the early weaning, no way to tell. I really hope it hasn't caused them any problems. I look at my 3 1/2 month old daughter now and there is no way on this earth she is ready for weaning.

Do what you want, but please make an informed decision based on the signs your baby is giving you. Others above have mentioned what these are and they don't include chewing hands, looking at your food, waking in the night or even wanting to pick up your food. They should be able to sit unaided (who wants to eat solids doubled-up!), pass food between their hands, put it in their mouth and chew it. Does your baby do these things?

Its been 3 months, 6 months, 9 months at one stage 3 weeks It is always changing......
Every baby is totally different mine was 3 months on baby rice...no probs great eater now, healthy weight and no health probs.
Friends have been mixed from 3months 5 months 9months and even had a close friend who did not wean till 11 months (although this was baby not mummys choice) All which have become healthy children.
You as the mum are the best judge and health advisor of your own baby. Trust what you think it is in your nature to know what to do go with it :)

"If guidelines are all shite then I assume all those who know better put their babies to sleep on their fronts and and the top of the cot etc? After all, we were put to sleep on our fronts as babies and we're ok."

I put both my babies to sleep on their fronts. Sure, I know all about the research that it causes SIDS, but no baby in my family or DH's has ever suffered from SIDS.
I did, however, have a cousin who choked to death on his own vomit after being put down to sleep on his back as a young baby. Both my babies were quite sicky. I decided they were more at risk on their backs than on their fronts.

The experts maintained that a baby who is sick will always turn his head to prevent choking. I knew better.

haven't read the whole thread so forgive me if I'm repeating what's already been said (it's late and I need to sleep...). My SIL is a GP, mother of 3 & has lived/worked as a Dr in a very poor country for 15 years. She says the UK weaning guidelines are derived from WHO (World Health Organisation) guidelines and that they suggest children are exclusively breastfed till 6 mths because there are countries where children won't get adequate nutrition if they are weaned sooner. My SIL says that babies in the UK don't fall into that category and suggested I ignore the guidelines. I weaned ds1 at 4 months (which is what the advice was in 2003) and ds2 at 4 months too (even though the advice was 6m by then). No subsequent problems. Hope it goes well whatever you decide.

When my sons were born (in their 20s now) we were told to start weaning at age four months or 14 lbs in weight - whichever comes first - and that's what I did. They were both also breastfed for a year. Neither have any food allergies and neither do any of their friends - including those who were bottle fed.

You will know if your baby is ready.

I think we should get rid of all paediatricians. And health visitors. Also GPs could stop advising on children's health issues. And all the government bodies that do research into baby and child health. And stop publishing studies on anything to do with small children.

Over 50% of the responses on this thread are along the lines of 'you know your baby best, you should follow your instinct, guidelines are useless'. So, obviously, there's no need for those resources.

I imagine the NHS will be thrilled to hear about this. I will write them a memo.