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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that falling in your plate is not on at lunch?

487 replies

Hullygully · 10/10/2011 11:51

So, Sunday lunch at a friend's yesterday. A couple that we know slightly are also invited. The woman who is very bright and very pleasant for the first hour, drinks so much that she is literally unable to speak (but doesn't stop trying), and we all carry on with lunch pretending that everything is normal and not laughing where she can see.

Is this normal? In any way?

OP posts:
AgentZigzag · 10/10/2011 14:16

Please point to where I've been 'quite rude' Rhubarb0.

And I think you're getting me and Clarence mixed up, I didn't say I thought the woman was an alcoholic.

Do you only post about people you know?

The OP writes a thread, people post, that's how it works, no prior knowledge of the people involved is needed.

BupcakesandHaunting · 10/10/2011 14:16

I read the strikeout as "I giggled but I shouldn't have"

ShirleyKnot · 10/10/2011 14:18

Calling someone horrible is a bit rude actually.

Hungrydragon · 10/10/2011 14:18

I don't understand your statement ZigZag?

AgentZigzag · 10/10/2011 14:19

But I thought the way the OP behaved was horrible Shirl.

AgentZigzag · 10/10/2011 14:19

Or is saying something is horrible considered rude along with calling them a cunt or a twat?

bibbitybobbityhat · 10/10/2011 14:20

If they hadn't laughed about it at Hully's lunch then I'm sure it would have been incredibly awkward.

Btw, the rest of us were pissed as farts at my dinner party. When we went again a couple of weeks ago I had a cocktail too many and DEMANDED that our hosts google my dh on You Tube to see him in a children's show he was in years ago. Then I bellowed at them to google various of his exes who have been in soaps and Harvester adverts Blush. So embarrassed the next day but hosts reassured me that they bloody loved. There's pissed and there's comatose.

Hungrydragon · 10/10/2011 14:21

horrible for pretending everything was fine? Or the laughing?

If the partner wasn't there and it was a friend of mine than the wine would've have been removed and sofa/bed/ coffee suggested.

GetOrfMo1Land · 10/10/2011 14:21

Grin at harvester adverts.

GetOrfMo1Land · 10/10/2011 14:23

What can you really do though if the partner is there and acting like everything is hunky dory? I suppose you can have a word and ask them to leave but I suppose most people would find that difficult to do.

Snorbs · 10/10/2011 14:23

Bupcakes, if you got literally incoherently drunk in the middle of the day so often that you became "famed for it" I'd hope someone would have a quiet word with your DH. Particularly if you'd necked the best part of three bottles of wine during lunch on top of whatever it was you'd had in the pub beforehand. But I doubt you drink anything like that much.

Nevertheless, as I said it's a matter of perspective. I'm not claiming that my opinions are based on any kind of Universal Truth, it's simply that Hully's acquaintance sounds like a lush rings a number of warning bells for me and I know that if she does have a big drink problem then her DP could probably do with some support.

SuePurblybilt · 10/10/2011 14:24

Bibbity, is one of his exes the waitress who can't say Piri Piri chicken but does?

TheRhubarb · 10/10/2011 14:25

Agent, you have implied that getting shitfaced at lunch is somehow wrong.
You have implied that Hully and the rest of us posting are horrible for even contemplating laughing at the situation.
You've stated that the only reason Hully posted was to laugh at her friend's expense with us all when she clearly ended her OP with the question - "is this normal?"

To presume so much about a poster and indeed the rest of us, is rude.

Hully actually wanted to know if her behaviour was normal, now why do you think she wanted to do that? To get some advice perhaps?

You are being rude to be so judgemental and to think you know exactly what Hully is thinking. Unless you are psychic of course?

Original poster
Hullygully · 10/10/2011 14:29

I'm back!

For clarification

I know this couple slightly. I have met them at one other dinner, where the woman was pissed, but in control, and at one large party where she went over sideways and smashed a plant pot. And I'm sorry, but that too was funny because my friend was so upset about her pot.

We had discussed before the lunch what might happen, as she is well known for her activities, and my friend asked me to make sure and turn up in case help was needed. Despite us refilling her watr glass like she was in the Sahara, and tryng not to offer wine regularly, she got shitfaced and was unable to speak. What was funny was all of us pretending everything was normal. Both my friend and I feel very sorry for this woman, neither of us know her well enough to feel we can speak to her about it.

Her husband is very sweet, but a bit odd too (hair transplants), and he very gallantly and sweetly held her hand and kept her upright, perhaps he didn't take her home as if he did he'd never have a life. I don't know.

I think life is full of odd people of all different flavours, all of whom often have to be accommodated and tolerated. the end.

OP posts:
AgentZigzag · 10/10/2011 14:30

I disagree giving my opinion is rude Rhub, yes I'm judgemental about what the OP wrote, but answering on what the OP decides to include in their thread is what forums are all about.

I don't know anyone on MN, but that doesn't stop me giving my opinion.

The OP said she was laughing about the situation, I said that's horrible thing to do.

If you think I've attacked her personally, report my post.

Bugsy2 · 10/10/2011 14:30

For anyone looking for a lighter but slightly more disgusting thread (if, of course, you find snot-sucking disgusting), VWBW has very thoughtfully started a snot sucking thread.

Hungrydragon · 10/10/2011 14:31

So he leaves her places in this state, for others to sort out?

BupcakesandHaunting · 10/10/2011 14:31

"hair transplants"

Hair transplants now? IS THERE NO END TO YOUR HATRED??????????

GetOrfMo1Land · 10/10/2011 14:32

laughing at (hair transplants) as a sign of a man's oddity Grin

GetOrfMo1Land · 10/10/2011 14:32

YOU JUDGY BARSTARD

Original poster
Hullygully · 10/10/2011 14:32

I do have another pair of friends, one of whom gets utterly utterly sloshed and tells long incoherent stories, and because I know them very well, I have spoken to her partner and asked what it's about, and health etc, and the partner has told me very clearly that they feel in no way responsible for the sloshed one's choices, it's their life and up to them.

Go figure.

OP posts:
ShirleyKnot · 10/10/2011 14:34

Hair.

Transplants.

YOU ARE A MONSTER

Original poster
Hullygully · 10/10/2011 14:34

Don't you think that if you go and have hair transplants that speaks volumes about all sorts of ishoos you've got? Particularly if you don't mention them, but just turn up one day with a lot more hair (cut in a straight across fringe) than you had last time?

Try not bloody laughing at that one.

OP posts:
limitedperiodonly · 10/10/2011 14:34

If I was this woman - what am I saying? I have been this woman - I would accept the fact that people laughed at me.

What I would never forgive is someone earnestly taking me or DH aside for a TALK about my PROBLEM.

GetOrfMo1Land · 10/10/2011 14:35

Cut in a straight across fringe Grin

I remember when Elton John turned up on Top of the Pops with a full thatched cottage ginger hairdo after years of being as bald as a coot. We all pointed and laughed then.