boys with long hair

[violet79]

My children have recently started a new school. When picking the school we met with the headteacher and looked around the school and talked about my childs special needs and the appeared very welcoming.
The whole time we were in the process of meeting with the schools and choosing, the school we eventually chose said nothing about my sons long hair. In fact we read the schools uniform policy and the only mention of hair was no extreme styles or braids.
But now they have been there a couple of months the head teacher held an assembly to tell all pupils with long hair must wear a pony tail. I already was sending in hair bobbles for PE and swimming. But considering he is already being called by a girl by one kid in his class i thought this was a little off.
My son is the only one being chased up on the matter with lots of girls stuill coming to school with thier long hair down.
In a meeting with the head she said that another parent is complaing that they cant put tracks in their sons hair but my son can have long hair so she had to do something about it. Although i cannot see why as it wasnt in thier policy and tracks is...and tbh i feel its sexual discrimination. I pointed out that its not fair that some other parent should dictate how long my sons hair can be. The school have admitted they have a year 6 pupil whose had his hair long the whole time hes been there...when i asked if he had to wear a pony tail they said no but now he will have too...so this is a new rule just for my son. I have refused to put bobbles in his hair and the school say i am being unresonable. My son has special needs and has had enough stress changing schools without adding to it. Any support for my cause will give me the strength to stand up for my son.
p.s...he is adament he does not want it cut saying that it would not feel like he was himself anymore.

posie, the medication is for my younger son..it makes no difference what it is...as i said i wont post any specific details...the fact of the matter is that the GP gave specific timelapses between doses...and unless i get him up twice in the night that means one at midday at school.

oakmaiden...just for your info...it isnt an antibiotic...it is long term medication

Change schools. Surely nothing is worth having such fearful conniptions over?

Are you saying you think the school are discriminating against your lad and harassing him?

And do you believe this to be because he has special needs?

thankyou for your comment caz46...its nice to get a positive comment now that the positive comments have fizzled out ...it is clear that the people who have good comments to say say what they feel, but some seem to just want to insult to try and break down integrity which seems unnessasary...i have gave enough info now to of eliminated these comments...so as of now i wont be repeating...i will just refer the commenter to actually read what i have wrote.

posie...my son has long ringlets just like most of the girls with long hair at his school who wear it down.

pandemonia...what a terrible assumption to make...i am perfectly calm...the only thing peeing me off right now is the people who come here making assumptions despite the effort i have made to provide enough information to dispel such assumptions with complete disregard...and even so...its nothing but laughable...and i have only been correcting so that others dont read these comments that twist what i have wrote and then not be able to comment apropiatly...not because i am sat here blowing a fuse...for goodness sake.

agentzigzag...no i am saying that the school is very financial and regimented which they do not promote when visiting the school in order to decide on a place...they made promises when i asked very specific questions on the level of care and acceptance...and they have broke all those promises now that they have the funds of another place filled...i am saying that they are discriminating against his long hair and that is one problem in many with the way they deal with things...as i have already said they are breaking so many government legislations with certain issues...and i am trying to find the right direction on how to take on a school with so much disregard for the law and so little willingness to help families and so much disregard for pastoral care on a matter that they promised me would not arise and is only affecting my family as they have already admitted the rule was made up for my son and noone else has as of yet been chased up on the matter.

violet. Is his hair brushed and clean?

I am struggling to understand what you think is happening. Why do you think you're being singled out? Are you New Age? Traveller? Unconventional? Or are you the same as everyone else? (not saying that any of this would make it right) But your posts come across as blaming external forces for things which you can change.....ie the change must come from you.

Why do you think the other boys aren't being told to tie their hair back?

posie ...his hair is washed , blow dried and brushed every morning.

There is only one other boy with long hair...his hair isnt as long is the only answer i can assume...but its still past shoulders. I cannot answer why brandon is being singled out...the only thing i can think is that his younger brother had long hair when they started too...but i managed to get him to cut it because i was worried about bullying as they came from a school where all the boys had long hair to none...
when my younger one came in with it cut short the head made such a fuss it was getting silly...i think she thinks that one cut it so she can try and get both cut...onme theory ...but i honestly dont know.

Then what is it?

And is the medication conventional?

This is weird, all round weird.

Just ask her outright, why?

yep the medication is bog standard medication and better still no side effects...
i think maybe asking her would be a good idea...but ill have to book the afternoon off...last time she got on the subject she wouldnt let me out the office until i agreed to think about ganging up on my son with her and i missed a hospital appointment...but yes i think being direct might help.

"Girls and boys still have different norms in dress and hair and this is not going to disappear any time soon. Should it really be OK for a boy to come to school in a skirt, for instance?"

Well, yes. My uniform was strictly enforced, meaning from age 12-16 I had to wear men's shoes to school, because we lived in a town where it was difficult to get suitably compliant shoes in my shoe size. I longed for trousers too.

OP, 'bloody' is very much seen as a swearword here. It might not be in the US, but then neither would you say 'spaz' over here which I believe is acceptable with a different meaning in America. I am a TV regulator and I can assure you that 'bloody' is on our list of words that viewers find offensive.

Back to the topic - it migth be useful if you're more explicit about the SN of your child. There are many many parents on here with SN children and I would be exceedingly surprised if there wasn't someone with experience of the exact same condition.

I have two friends in America..one in Wisconsin and one in New York.

I have asked them both and they said 'Bloody' is very much a swearword where they are and their Kids would definitely be told off both by them and the School if they were to say it.

I guess this is the thing - the OP posts saying that allowances should be made for her son being who he is, and he shouldn't be expected to change, as he has SN. But not what the special needs are.

That the school should give him his medication, but not what the medication is, or what it is for.

That the school should allow him to say the word bloody, as it is acceptable where they are "from" - and refuses to accept the opinion of pretty much everyone else that bloody is not in fact acceptable from a school child. We are all wrong, and she is right.

It is such a "half story" that I really don't see how any of us can judge whether the OP is begin reasonable or not. For most people the complaints she has made are fairly unreasonable - if there are extenuating circumstances which make them acceptable in her son's case I have yet to hear them.

Although ignoring all the distractions since the beginning of the thread - the OP does need to check whether the hair thing is universal in the school, and if it is not write a letter to the head and governors asking why it is being unfairly applied.

mippy , if thats the case why is the word allowed on the tweenies?

mippy, in my experience , acceptance levels vary from area to area and opinions of whether it is a swear word vary from area to area...down south it was not an issue...where i have moved up north it is. but im not about trying to change the view of a whole area...im about a lil bit more understanding that we have come from a different area....and where we live now is like another world, so i only think its a teeny bit unfair to punnish children so severly instead of trying to help them stop something they developed over years because the last school never qualmed over it.

btw...the whole bloody thing...not at all part of my issues with the school as ive mentioned before...thats a different thread...i might copy and paste that thread so that the 2 issues dont get confused

I don't believe it was said on the Tweenies violet.

I've been watching the bloody Tweenies for nearly 8 bloody years (do I sound bitter? ) and judging by the type of program I know it to be, they would never get away with Max saying that.

Also, if you type 'max said the word bloody on the tweenies' into google, it comes up with nothing.

You're never telling me that if he had said it, there wasn't one outraged parent out there who also heard it and shared their outraged on some parenting forum somewhere.

If he said it, someone would have spouted about it, and nobody has.

mippy,
it really makes no odds if anyone knows the exact nature of my sons SN all children are different, and i have worked with SEN to establish his needs ...i dont need to talk over what he requires regarding his SN i already know. The only relevence it has on this thread is that the school were in competition with another local school for the filled place and funding those filled places would bring and in the process they pretended to be very accepting of who my son was, his SN AND appearances, now they have the funding their true nature is aparent and i am more annoyed by this for the fact that due to the nature of my sons SN he could end up withdrawing and losing the plot regarding the whole school and his education altogether...(please note i said due to the NATURE of his SN not due to me calmly behind the scenes trying to question the school on thier unfair treatment).

oakmaiden ...i can only assume yuo havent read the full information given on the complaints i have with the school...i dont think its unreasonable to expect the school to volunteer to give my son medication that has been prescribed by the GP for a condition that could have very serious consquences on his whole future if its not taken in accordance with the GP's instructions....and i also dont think its unreasonable to expect that the school does not lie to me about what i have to pay for when i have not recieved any pay yet and also to not send me red letters for school trips with no explaination that i dont have to pay and then threaten to exclude my children from school trips if i dont pay...all of which is ILLEAGAL! ...and i dont think its unreasonable that i should expect that the school does not single out my son and only my son to have his hair tied back...and i also dont think its unreasonable for me to expect the school to sign a declaration that they are providing my children with before school care when they are so that i may get childcare funding ...im sorry ...just where exactly am i being unreasonable????

worral...
my entire family came from america and those that wernt in my parents line are still there and despite the fact that they are not offensive people, bloody has never been an issue...i never went to school there but ive understood that its not been a problem in pleasant conversation, wheras lots of other mild swear words have...on looking into it further i have found that what i have seen on the web seems to agree with what i have been brought up to believe.