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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think pupils at secondary should make their way to school on their own?

226 replies

emkana · 07/10/2011 21:47

be it walking, cycling, or bus - but not driven by their parents anymore. I guess liftsharing with other parents to save money is okay. But parents driving the little darlings every day because they couldn't possibly manage?

OP posts:
fluffythevampirestabber · 08/10/2011 18:45

Millicent - DD has a coat. And an umbrella. Have you tried to hold an umbrella or keep a hood up and carry a heavy rucksack full of books, a hockey bag, swimming bag, sports kit and violin?

popadop · 08/10/2011 18:46

yes he has waterproofs etc but still not pleasant to walk in the rain everyday................why walk in the rain when there is a car outside..............

And why is anyone bothered what everyone else does.

LittleMissWoodscommaElle · 08/10/2011 18:47

Well when I was at school 25 years ago there was a local secondary school in every community, there was far less homework, textbooks were rarely sent home and PE kit was much more simplified (shorts and t shirt in summer, jogging bottoms and t shirt in winter) there was more public transport available and far less extra curricular stuff.

fluffythevampirestabber · 08/10/2011 18:48

And if I have the ability to make it slightly easier for DD to get to school by giving her a lift which is taking me out of my way by not even 2 minutes, why the hell shouldn't I? I certainly couldn't carry all the stuff she has all the way to her school without seriously hurting my back.

MilicentBystander · 08/10/2011 18:49

What will he do when he gets to college? Starts a job? What if he has an outdoor job? How will he cope?Shock
Hope he doesn't play any outside sports!

Morebeta does your son have SN? 'cos we already covered that.

CroissantNeuf · 08/10/2011 18:52

DDs school is a good 30-40min walk away and she does a combination of walking, bus or getting a lift part of the way (DP drops her at a friends on his way to work and they walk from there). It all depends on the weather, how much stuff she has to carry, whether she has after school clubs etc.

What really pisses me off though is a neighbour who drives her DD to this same school and back every day, never offering any of the other children around here a lift despite having 3 empty spaces in the car.

I'm not suggesting they give lifts every day or get into a regular lift share if they don't want to, but just occasionally stopping and asking would be nice. Mind you, even when I was in plaster and unable to drive she didn't offer, not even once.

MilicentBystander · 08/10/2011 18:52

Yes, you are right. Raise your kids as you see fit. I prefer to ensure mine are resiliant, independant and tough enough to withstand a bit of rain and a heavy bag.
They are very sporty, fit, healthy and strong children though.

Wonder why? Hmm

Rivenwithoutabingle · 08/10/2011 18:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

exoticfruits · 08/10/2011 18:54

Of course they should but unfortunately public transport isn't always available and bikes on some routes are a death trap.

fluffythevampirestabber · 08/10/2011 18:54

Millicent - My DD can and does walk to school if she's at my house. But when I'm driving virtually past her school why shouldn't I take her?

DD plays hockey. Does cross-country running. Plays netball. she's outside plenty.

How would you propose she gets the 8 miles from school to her dad's at 4.45/5pm in the winter when it's dark since there's no bus ??

Also, I have pointed out already, it's the nearest school. We live rurally. Should there be no farmers, no rural businesses then? People should sell up and move to the town?

fluffythevampirestabber · 08/10/2011 18:55

Milicent - can you answer some of my points please.

My DS's are strong and resilient, as are my DD's and I honestly don't see how getting a lift home after sport when there is no bus is such a negative?

What do you expect people like us to do?

MilicentBystander · 08/10/2011 18:56

Indeed. People are bothered because mollycoddled teens being driven about by mummsy wummsy are a bloody hazard to other road users, cyclists and pedestrians. Especially those who have to park as close to the school as possible regardless of the dangers they pose.

But you'll have to excuse me. I have an irrational loathing of overindulged, spoilt, smothered kids.

flicktheswitch · 08/10/2011 18:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MilicentBystander · 08/10/2011 18:58

Which will be never if mummy is ferrying her about.

God help her when she has to get about under her own steam Shock

fluffythevampirestabber · 08/10/2011 18:59

Milicent - what about my DD and my specific situation?

BTW fwiw I put DS1 on a train in Coleraine aged 16 more than once and he managed a change in Dublin and on to Cork. So I am not a mollycoddling mother. And if you look on the map, that's the top of Northern Ireland, to the very bottom of the South of Ireland.

Mum2Luke · 08/10/2011 18:59

I agree with parents not taking their kids when they do live near enough (1-2 miles by bus or bike)) and if there is no bus. Not everyone has access to a decent bus service if they live in the middle of nowhere (and even if they don't).

My daughter who is now 18 was given a school which was not even on my list when we were allocated schools. I asked Tameside Council why they gave her this school and not the one she had chosen (as there are not many decent schools for girls in our area) and she had to more or less like it or lump it, it was 3 miles away, not even anywhere near a bus route, she would have had to walk to a bus stop a mile away to start with in the dark in winter. She went in the end to a school in Central Manchester which she was able to get 2 direct buses each way. This was fine but all her friends lived the other side of Manchester. She is now at college in Manchester, doing a Foundation Degree, gets herself about on buses all over the place, I do give her the odd lift if she needs it but she is very independant now.

fluffythevampirestabber · 08/10/2011 19:00

Milicent - how do you suggest my DD gets home from school at 4.45/5pm when there is no bus and she goes to the nearest school??

VoldemortsNipple · 08/10/2011 19:00

It used to cost 6p each way in bus fares when I went to school in the 80s. It costs almost 10 pound each per week now. That will be 30 pounds a week I will need to fork out when Ds2 starts secondary, if I could drive I would definitely be taking the dcs myself. It would have nothing at all to do with wrapping them up in cotton wool.

In my opinion, all kids should have free transport to school.

MilicentBystander · 08/10/2011 19:02

fluffy no one is talking abut when there is no alternative. We're talking about parents driving kids to school so they don't get wet or other such ridiculous nonsense!

MilicentBystander · 08/10/2011 19:04

I thought that if your school was more than three miles away transport was free?

fluffythevampirestabber · 08/10/2011 19:05

What about the fact that I take DD on a morning sometimes when I am already taking DD2?

And

"MilicentBystander Sat 08-Oct-11 14:15:10
Don't people plan where they live around schools anymore?
When did it become normal to choose a school 10, 15, 20 miles away?

Those of you with long journey's are obviously not using free transport to your catchment school but choosing. I wouldn't want to have years of that, I'd just move or plan my housing around children."

My daughter has to go to a school almost 10 miles away from her dad's. You would move or plan your housing around children????!!!!! Shock

Unfortunately, some people do not have that luxury

confusedpixie · 08/10/2011 19:06

I'd say it depends on distance and availability in the area.

A large group of those in my high school had to be driven in as there was no school bus to where I lived and we'd have to get two or three public buses (costing something near a tenner a day due to First Bus' extortionate prices!) to get to school. It made more sense to car share.

There were five of us in my car share, sometimes more if the other set of parents took their minibus.

Yet for schools over double the distance away there were regular busses, trains and school transport from my home town because it was a major town unlike where I went to high school (village with one road in on the coast and out of the way!)

flicktheswitch · 08/10/2011 19:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mum2Luke · 08/10/2011 19:14

I see it all the time Millicent, they park on our estate waiting for their kids because its not too far for them to walk to nearest safe place well away from the school.

I nearly came a cropper the other day turning onto the estate (sounds posh but really is not) when there was a car waiting and someone coming off the estate passing round this car with parent inside. I gave the person a very dirty look.

I think next time I see this car which comes everyday, I will be writing to the school to request that parents DO NOT double park on the main road so we cannot see other cars coming while we try to turn right or on the estate at all. They can pick their little darlings up somewhere else!

popadop · 08/10/2011 19:15

This thread is so funny all those big brave sporty kids walking to school on their own and all the weak feeble ones getting a lift.

Come on get a grip.

I will do what I want ...thanks for your concern though.