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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think pupils at secondary should make their way to school on their own?

226 replies

emkana · 07/10/2011 21:47

be it walking, cycling, or bus - but not driven by their parents anymore. I guess liftsharing with other parents to save money is okay. But parents driving the little darlings every day because they couldn't possibly manage?

OP posts:
tyler80 · 08/10/2011 10:53

That was in a rural area btw.

valiumredhead · 08/10/2011 12:01

My ds walks and has done since he was 9. The school is 15 -20 min walk. I don't really care how anyone else chooses to run their lives, I just concern myself with what works for us.

Oakmaiden · 08/10/2011 12:06

I think it depends on the child.

There was a bus to my son's school, but I still drove him because he has ASD and gets bullied a lot, and I really didn't want to expose him to the behaviour of some of the children on the school bus. I think he would have been miserable.

He has now changed campus, to just over a mile away, and walks himself. I am anxious about that too, as my friend has seen him and told me that he is not terribly sensible when he is walking - but I do feel at nearly 14 I have to encourage a bit of independence....

Oakmaiden · 08/10/2011 12:07

And cycling - OMG! I would not let him cycle on the roads. He is just so heedless of everything around him, he would get himself killed.

I wish I could let him cycle though.

valiumredhead · 08/10/2011 12:10

A lot of parents drive their kids to school here due to the number of bags they have to take in ever day. PE kit 3 or 4 times a week which consists of football boots and trainers, rugby kit, towel AND gym kit. Then ALL their books as there are no lockers at school plus packed lunches and then if the kids play in instrument that as well! Some of them are such little 9 year olds they can't physically carry all that for a 20 min walk.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 08/10/2011 12:20

Natation - one of the points I made earlier was that it's not just pure road safety that's an issue when it comes to letting your child cycle to school - you also need to take into account how they are going to carry all their books/kit etc. We did consider this when ds1 wanted to cycle to school rather than walking, but he couldn't have fitted all his books/kit into panniers, and if he'd taken it all in a rucksack, he would have been so top-heavy that he wouldn't have been safe - and that was dh's opinion as a very keen cyclist.

lesley33 · 08/10/2011 12:26

I totally agree!

Rivenwithoutabingle · 08/10/2011 12:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

VivaLeBeaver · 08/10/2011 13:02

I live in a rural area. There is a bus to the local comp which is where dd will be going next year. Other parents in the village, some of the anyway, get their kids in at the comp other side of town which is in the top 100 schools in the uk. There's no school bus provided there so parents do drive kids there.

Dd can't go as I work shifts and can't get her there. Otherwise maybe I'd have considered it. Other option is that she gets a bus into city centre which is fine but then she would need to walk over a mile through a very seedy, rundown part of the city and I wouldn't be happy about her doing that especially when it's dark in the winter.

natation · 08/10/2011 13:10

Yes I agree, cycling some days is not always possible, so some days our eldest cycles, some days it is easier to go by tram, depends on the weather and how much he is carrying - but it is most of the time to fit everything into 2 panniers, rucksack half empty in one, rest in other pannier, well it's a bit too much pfaffing about so instead he takes the tram. Occasionally it goes cock-eyed, the tram breaks down, eldest has occasionally had to walk the 6.5km route home (that's 4 miles).

AngryBeaver · 08/10/2011 13:12

Why don't you just cook your own fish?!

EssentialFattyAcid · 08/10/2011 13:21

my 12 year old has back ache from walking 1.5 miles carrying a heavy bag

Maryz · 08/10/2011 13:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Rivenwithoutabingle · 08/10/2011 13:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

woahthere · 08/10/2011 14:00

If someone was threatneing to kill my child and chop them into pieces there is no way on gods earth my child would go to that school anymore and i would report them to the police. I do think OP has a point, although it is little sweeping. I think its good for them to learn to get public transport and I do see an awful lot of children who are still beiing ferried to school when there is a perfectly good bus, and it is because their parents dont trust them to get themselves there. Its a control thing I would say. Obviously if the parent were driving straight past then you would take them for the cost alone, I mean if we could do that it would save us 50 quid a month.

MilicentBystander · 08/10/2011 14:15

Don't people plan where they live around schools anymore?
When did it become normal to choose a school 10, 15, 20 miles away?

Those of you with long journey's are obviously not using free transport to your catchment school but choosing. I wouldn't want to have years of that, I'd just move or plan my housing around children.

VivaLeBeaver · 08/10/2011 14:27

A lot of people can't afford to move to the areas where the good schools are. Or can't afford to move full stop. We could afford a house in teh area where this fantastic school is as its inner city and in a terrible area. But I don't really fancy living in a terrible area and I don't want to waste money on stamp duty, legal costs, estate agents fees, etc.

Not that DD is going to the fantastic school as I can't get her there but I imagine my reasons for not wanting to move are the same as other peoples' reasons who choose to remain in this village but drive their kids to this school. If I was a SAHM I'd probably be desperate to get DD in this school.

Georgimama · 08/10/2011 17:18

Our nearest state secondary school is 10 miles away. The private school is closer.

fluffythevampirestabber · 08/10/2011 17:24

Millicent - I live in deepest rural Northern Ireland.

The nearest school (from the now e-H house) is 8 miles away.

I have already explained that free bus doesn't work for DD1 with after school clubs and the like.

What would you suggest? No-one in Northern Ireland does any kind of business in a rural area, like farming for example?

MrsDaffodill · 08/10/2011 18:26

I walked, took train, walked, carried all my books, etc. Did permanent damage to my neck and back, too.

fluffythevampirestabber · 08/10/2011 18:27

Exactly MrsD plus as I keep saying, there's no bus home for DD if she is at her dad's so it's not always just simple as "oh they should go under their own steam"

popadop · 08/10/2011 18:39

My parents in law said they should walk to school, my oh said I did it and when it was raining got soaked to the skin and had to sit it wet clothes all day and he does not want that for out son.

That shut them up.

MilicentBystander · 08/10/2011 18:42

Has he not got waterproof clothing, an umbrella? Hmm
Gosh, how do people manage.
That is a perfect example of molly coddling. He won't melt. Honest.

fluffythevampirestabber · 08/10/2011 18:44

Plus. A million billion years ago when I was a child and going to school, families only had one car and mother's didn't work - I am 41 my Mum was a teacher and had the car to get to work, my Dad had a motorbike. Most of my friend's mum's didn't work and the dad took the car to work.

Which meant the kids had to walk to school, carry bags and whatever all else, in the rain and the snow and so on.

But like all things, times change. There's tons of stuff has changed since I was a child - I was routinely put in the boot of a hatchback stuffed to the gills with my mum, dad, aunt, uncle and 5 kids (so 9 of us in a normal car) and we went to the beach or wherever. We don't do that now. Times have moved on.

Same with the kids going to school. I take DD1 when it suits me because I am taking DD2 and it is only slightly out of my way. If she's not got too much stuff, she walks. She can't get a bus home from her Dad's because she stays late every day except a Friday and there is no bus for her to get.

MoreBeta · 08/10/2011 18:45

Erm....DS1 (age 11) goes to secondary school in a taxi every day because he can't be trusted to cross roads on his own and he has a very very heavy bag and there are no buses and there is no cycle path on the main road.

I'll let him go with his younger brother (who goes to the Junior School) in the taxi after half term. Until then, I'll go with him and meet him every day.

He cried because he lost his locker key the other day.