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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think pupils at secondary should make their way to school on their own?

226 replies

emkana · 07/10/2011 21:47

be it walking, cycling, or bus - but not driven by their parents anymore. I guess liftsharing with other parents to save money is okay. But parents driving the little darlings every day because they couldn't possibly manage?

OP posts:
Maryz · 07/10/2011 22:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

doesntfitin · 07/10/2011 22:09

Shock horror at MN children going to the local comp Shock

naturalbaby · 07/10/2011 22:09

i grew up in walking distance to both schools i went to and was driven pretty much every day with my siblings. so what? my mum was happy to do it, we were happy to go together and chat for a bit - in fact it was probably one of the only/main times of the day that we really talked to eachother!

bubbles4 · 07/10/2011 22:09

Rural kids get a school bus to the nearest school,thats great if it is a good school but if it isnt and you decide its not the school for your child then your on your own.

BatsUpMeNightie · 07/10/2011 22:10

I fail to see what it's got to do with you OP - perhaps you could expand? I drove my son to school every day and would do it again and again to save him having to get on the 'school' bus and witness that level of savagery! My child, my choice and I'm bloody glad I did it!

fedupofnamechanging · 07/10/2011 22:11

Why do you care? If you cba to take your kids to school, that's your own business, but if someone else is happy to drive theirs and make the start of their day easier, then that is up to them.

natation · 07/10/2011 22:11

Yes in many cases there are children being taken to school in cars who could make it their on their own. It is good for children to be given their independence little by little, allowing an 11 year old to take a bus unaccompanied is part of the process of letting go and letting the child become and adult with the ability to make their own decisions, assess the risks.

Eldest has taken himself to school from the age of 11, first school on foot 3kms or bus ride, current school 6.5km cycle or tram ride with a change. He now makes it around the city without an adult, knows the public transport and the geography better than me. Our 13 year old is terrible at directions but I insist he take himself to school, he has to learn I will not always be there, got lost a few times, but managed to put find the way (just moved house recently). Our 9 year old has also been allowed to travel a few times on her own by tram and knows the 1.5km route home on foot - I must say I probably wouldn't let her do this where we used to live in the UK, but here where we live it is still normal for 8 year olds even to take themselves home after school.

I don't find life any more risky now than when I was a child, except that there are more cars around because people drive more and walk less, but I want our children to grow up able to make their own decisions, taking themselves to secondary school is a step towards adulthood.

tallulah · 07/10/2011 22:11

How do you know why the child gets a lift?

DC1 went to school 17 miles away and it was cheaper to drive her than pay for train and 2 buses.
DC2 walked to school with friends.
DC3 and DC4 came with me in the car to my work, then walked to school from there. DC3 has ADHD and couldn't have coped on a bus at 11. I wasn't going to shell out £100s a term to pay for the bus for DC4 when the rest of us were going the same way.

I expect anybody seeing us on the journey would have assumed I was driving them to school. I wasn't. I was driving myself to work.

YABU. And very nosey.

Dawndonna · 07/10/2011 22:11

Rural school. Nine miles away. 200m out of catchment for the school bus, so they don't qualify. We live on the borders of two counties, no choice but to drive.

skybluepearl · 07/10/2011 22:11

I had to commute one hour on two buses each way as a child. I was bullied by a vile older girl from a different school on one of the buses. I dreaded each school day. It would have taken my parents about 15 or 20 mins to drive us kids directly there.

doesntfitin · 07/10/2011 22:12

Well if you decide to send your children to a school 50 miles away ,so they don't have to mix with the local riff raff ,be prepared to drive them

ilovesooty · 07/10/2011 22:12

I think you can offer an opinion without being personally affected by the issue.

If a child lives three miles or less away on decent roads, why can't they walk?

WelliesinJune · 07/10/2011 22:12

Erm yes YABU. 11 year olds are not versed in the ways of the world and that's half the problem with today's society - expecting that they should be.

Maryz · 07/10/2011 22:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

themildmanneredjanitor · 07/10/2011 22:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BatsUpMeNightie · 07/10/2011 22:15

There are some professional nosey parker misery guts on here Janitor - they need to get their stickbeaks the fuck out of it!

ilovesooty · 07/10/2011 22:16

How is it "being a bitch" to discuss whether children's skills wrt getting themselves about are less than they used to be?

Andrewofgg · 07/10/2011 22:16

I walked or later cycled from seven. And from nine was taking a neighbour's younger spoilt brat boy with me. Long time ago!

When DS started going alone at eleven he had the choice of bus or underground from the same place. He quickly worked out that if he took the underground to school he would have a downhill walk from station to school; if he then took the bus home he would have a downhill walk from school to bus-stop. No prizes for guessing what the idle bugger did.

troisgarcons · 07/10/2011 22:16

Im bizarre I know - my now Y11 was taking himself and his mates up London, Covent Garden, by train, in Y7 summer hols to watch street entertainers. They are past that now and just go to Lords to watch cricket.

My now Y12 has always trundled all over London and Kent on buses (not actually sure why, but thats the benefit of an Oyster)

)))bubble wrappers(((

maypole1 · 07/10/2011 22:17

Sevenfold totally agree my dd had been getting home since year five until the bullies stared

He was told if he told any one he was being bullied he would be chopped up and killed.

The school did nothing, the parents did nothing so we started picking him up from school for his own safety

But your right op I should of let him get the bus regardless

Sirzy · 07/10/2011 22:17

As long as the children are at school on time does it really matter?

doesntfitin · 07/10/2011 22:18

Come on .why can't they make their own way to school?

will you be taking them to college/uni/work?

Talk about wrapping in cotton wool

ChippingIn · 07/10/2011 22:18

Yes YABU

Sevenfold · 07/10/2011 22:20

maypole1 horrid isn't it. ds had to make his own way there, but i picked him up. he had all day with the bullies weird but I thought that was enough.

maypole1 · 07/10/2011 22:20

doesntfitin unless you can see the whites of the head masters eyes from your home that is the only way you and make sure you get into your local school

My mates kids got in a school I hour a way just of a major junction