To think pupils at secondary should make their way to school on their own?

[emkana]

be it walking, cycling, or bus - but not driven by their parents anymore. I guess liftsharing with other parents to save money is okay. But parents driving the little darlings every day because they couldn't possibly manage?

I imagine their parents are worried about them being hit by cars. Or the kids are just too fat to cycle.

Or afford a bike?

I think it is a realistic worry when it comes to cars.

I started secondary in '83 ,2 children were killed on the road that year.

I try not to let that point worry me when my eldest is out and about ,but I would be lying if I said was relaxed about traffic.

In fact, it is my main concern.

Or maybe they are worried about the child trying to cycle with a huge book bag and an equally huge PE kitbag on their backs, which would render them very unstable on their bikes which, added to the many cars on the road (and the drivers who don't see cyclists) would be very dangerous indeed. That's why we didn't let ds1 ride his bike to school. He walked instead.

All three of them are capable of getting themselves to school either on foot or by bus - but sometimes, being organisationally challenged, one or more of them finds their paper round takes longer (papers late to the shop, bike puncture or other mechanical malfunction), gets behind time at home and needs a lift into school. Or the weather is appalling, so I drive them in. I'd rather do that than have them late to school, or arriving soaked to the skin to spend the day in wet clothes. There's nowhere at school for them to hang up a coat, btw.

Doesn'tfitin - I have not seen any post from you where you have expressed sympathy for maypole's dd's problem - if so, that is really nasty. Yes, you may well be able to defend yourself, but would you honestly think it was OK for a vulnerable young girl to have to travel daily with bullies threatening to kill her?

You know,thinking about it...why does it matter?

Maybe some parents are over protective? it comes from love though doesn't it?

I live where all the kids are driven to school , they all get driving at 16 and become capable adults in due course.

During the teen years so much changes ...17/18 year olds are able to cope with much so much more than 11 year olds!

Just because a young teen is driven , does not mean they will be useless at catching a bus a couple of years later.

The brain is developed more, and (obviously) so are their bodies...

I don't really understand the mad panic to get our kids in to the next phase so quickly?

They do it on their own... a bit like weeds

My Ds was bullied at school , I got the bullies excluded

Because it's always as easy as that isn't it! You would have thought if your own child was bullied you would have just an ounce of sympathy for others being subjected to the same.

And as for behaviour of children on buses. I have once been unlucky enough to get the bus at the same time as a local (supposedly very good) school finished for the day. The behaviour was so bad I got home and phoned the head teacher to complain about what I had witnessed.

Doesntfitin - well done for getting the bullies excluded.

That certainly wasn't my experience when DS2 was attacked on the bus with a steel ruler and had cuts to his face less than 0.5 of a cm from his eye. Or when he was getting the shit kicked out of him on the bus every day. And his books kicked all round the bus. And his lunch taken and stamped on and spat on and peed on.

The school told me it was the bus company's problem. The bus company told me they could do nothing, the driver had to drive the bus. Go to the school. The police said "We will speak to the boys involved and get them cautioned oh so sorry one of the boys is a policeman's son so we'll put false information in the file and you're on your own"

And the advice of the transport department at the Education Board was for me to take him in the car so he couldn't get bullied.

DD1 can get a bus if she's at her Dad's, or she can walk from here. She takes, on average, her own weight in books, PE/Hockey/Netball kit, Violin, assorted crap for Home Economics. I couldn't walk the distance to her school carrying what she has to carry - so I run her in conjunction with taking DD2 to school (which I have to do as there is no bus and her school is 7 miles from my house as I moved when me and ex-H separated and didn't want to move her school as well as all the other upset).

If DD1 stays after school for an activity, which happens most days, she stays until 4.45pm and there is no bus to take her out to her Dad's - there's only one bus and it's timed to coincide with normal finishing time. And if she's at mine, again, she has all the crap to bring home.

YABVU you have no idea of the circumstances of each individual case.

YANBU

I work in a University and my job is to arrange work placements for students. I have had parents of 19 year old students ringing me up to complain that Little Johnny can't possibly do the work placement I've found as it involves getiting a bus and it's not safe!!!

It makes me so cross.

I went to school 20 miles away in the next town. I used to get the bus to the train station, catch the train and then another bus. It was a right fucking drag and I hated it but it would have been stupid for my parents to take me too.

DD gets the bus, which costs me £800 per year. Her friend, with 2 siblings in the school is driven, because that's cheaper than 3 bus passes.

Special circumstances aside children should start walking to school at primary school age IMO! My son is year 5 and already walking to school by himself one day a week (I said he can do it every day if he wants but he still likes walking with me. Also I admit I am always only 5 minutes behind with other dc).

We live in London. It is only a five minute walk - but does involve crossing two busy roads. I think it is vital he gets used to crossing roads safely as nowadays children just don't seem to do so and that is so much more dangerous than not allowing them to!

I think statistics would show road deaths have declined steadily for the past few decades, yet the perception of roads being dangerous places for pedestrians and cyclists has probably increased, this has probably led to a significant percentage of children now being driven because of parents' perceived fears of what will happen if their children walked.

From this thread, I can see that lousy bus services are a serious problem in the UK, pity children are not offered as a matter of course a cheap bus service to get to school, even car mad US has yellow buses. As a family, we've never had that problem as we have deliberately chosen only to live in areas where the children can be independent and get themselves about without needing to rely on a (parent's) car. And cost of bus passes at £800 is terrible, I guess we are spoiled in Belgium - our eldest would be entitled to a metro/tram/bus pass for £80 a year and for the 2nd child we pay about £40 a year, 3rd and 4th children are free until they reach 12. Well our taxes are higher though, so perhaps costs end up being roughly comparable. But for those who think it is cheaper to drive, well is it really? People rarely calculate full costs, they only think about the fuel, yet car costs are a lot more than fuel, if you cost in insurance, road tax, car purchase, maintenance, you'd probably find fuel cost is a small amount of the real cost per mile.

Crossing several roads that are difficult for an adult to cross, and walking through dodgy areas alone are things that I am not happy about for my dd. The route to school isn't always a safe one. I walk half way with my dd.

It is up to parents how their children travel to school and one of the few freedoms we seem to have remaining. Am a bit surprised the Mnetters don't seem to appreciate this. Schools are responsible from the start to the end of the school day. Parents are responsible for the rest and are free to exercise their discretion as they think best.

I walked 50 miles to school and back with no shoes and that was after cycling to get the hovis!
Good grief.why does it matter.If you want to drive your kids to school do it,nobody knows a persons personal circumstances,i had one with big health probs and another prolific truant,it was easier to drive them there on my way to work so at leats i knew they got there.
Just modern life im afraid,like most of us drive to work.

Surely it depends on the child and the nature of the journey to school. My children's school has people coming in from rural areas 25 miles from school; they mostly get a lift with a parent who's going the same way. If they were to wait for a bus, they'd never get to school at all.

But if your child goes to a local secondary, doesn't have to walk through areas that I wouldn't walk through myself/encounter bullies, is reasonably well road-trained and has no SN, then there is probably no reason why they shouldn't walk.

That said, some children like their parents' company and enjoy the walk to school together. It's also a good opportunity to talk, or so I find. Other children would obviously prefer to feel independent or walk with their friends if they live nearby. I don't think there's one rule that applies to all.

YANBU

I wasn't sure how ds1 would find getting the bus - waiting patiently, having his money ready, dealing with any stupidity on the bus, what would happen if the bus was late, it was raining, etc etc!

In actual fact it went very smoothly from the very first trip. He's coped admirably with the occasional problems and issues and within a few weeks it was clear how much his confidence had been boosted by the independence this gave him.

It has loads of additional advantages too:

• If they have to/want to stay after school, they don't need to liaise with anyone to re-arrange lifts.
• Ditto if their planned after school club is cancelled.
• They get some cooling off/chilling/reflection time at the end of the day before they arrive home.
• The extra travel time means their working day fits more neatly with mine.

The bus fares cost £10 a week each - two sons there now, but to drive (running costs rather than just petrol), it would cost c.£5 per round trip; ie £50 per week, plus extra trips if one of them was doing extra-curric and one not. In addition to out time driving them and not being able to start work til later in the morning.

45 mins across the Downs by car for me. Each way. Good luck finding me a decent trip that didn't involve a car. When I changed schools there was no school bus bar the one for the local comp, I couldn't use it. The normal bus didn't run at times that worked, so my parents would take us the 10 miles in the car. That ok op?

natation - you're lucky that you can choose to live somewhere where children can get to school easily.

In rural Northern Ireland that's not an option.

It's easy to put on judgey pants if you live in a city/town with good transport links, but some rural areas genuinely have two buses a day - one to get the kids to school in the morning, one to bring them home at 3.30. And those buses drive incredibly circuitous routes to pick up all the kids on the route, which means to get to school 7 miles away for 8.45 (if she's at her dad's) my DD gets on a bus at 7.45.

Oh and whoever said further up the thread that they had to get off/stand/whatever for fare paying passengers - the local authority pays the bus company in advance for transporting kids. A few years ago when it was DS's and the bus was driving past them every fucking day I was to discover it was almost £400 a year iirc. And the bus company gets it a couple of weeks before the schools go back as a lump sum - so the kids have effectively paid in advance and the bus company has had the money to earn interest on for the full year. and the bus company didn't like me very much when I made that point

Depends doesn't it? DS2 is SEN and while he attends mainstream secondary school, he wouldn't go unless he was driven each morning to the gate. He walks home.
There's so many reasons why children are driven to school - but why get worried about it? As Feninine said, they all grow up - how many adults do you see being driven to workk by their parents?

Riven - that's a fair point. But he might be able to get another bus at 7.30 or 8pm (not that the congestion would miraculously disappear but you know what I mean - if DD misses her bus she's stuffed, ditto the way home - she couldn't do her hockey/netball/running/tennis/drama etc if someone wasn't prepared to pick her up)

And this is very rural Northern Ireland. Traffic jams are made by cows on the road or bastard tractors when I'm running late

Dd is 11 and ds is 8 and they walk to school together. Ds walked half the way to school when dd was at school camp.

I do wonder when things changed. Hardly anybody I knew was driven to school in the area I lived 20 years ago. If, on a few occasions you may have got a lift, you'd get dropped off well away from school to make sure nobody knew you actually had parents! Getting a lift to school just wasn't the done thing, even if it was the most sensible option.