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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think pupils at secondary should make their way to school on their own?

226 replies

emkana · 07/10/2011 21:47

be it walking, cycling, or bus - but not driven by their parents anymore. I guess liftsharing with other parents to save money is okay. But parents driving the little darlings every day because they couldn't possibly manage?

OP posts:
LoveInAColdClimate · 07/10/2011 22:35

Agree re children not being able to carry all the stuff they often need - our lift share for four used to include a double bass, trumpet, clarinet, cricket/hockey/tennis implements and kit depending on season, plus books. Not really bus material...

larks35 · 07/10/2011 22:36

YANBU, learning to deal with public transport is part of the education process surely! I know there will be some exceptions but the number of parents dropping off their darlings outside my school daily make me think that it goes beyond absolute necessity. My dad walked 4 miles to and from his grammar school - 8 miles daily (as he boringly told us at least twice a year for our entire childhood). I walked or bussed everywhere when I was a youngster, we had no car! To someone who mentioned heavy books and guitar. I had to deal with bags of books and a french horn, I suppose that not having a car meant I never had the easy option. It was up to me.

doesntfitin · 07/10/2011 22:38

I can look after myself maypole ,I don't need my dp to protect me

JLK2 · 07/10/2011 22:38

Is ferrying a child to school going to prevent him or her from being bullied while at school, or just going to make things worse? Like it or not, kids need to learn to stand up for themselves, otherwise how are they going to cope with the adult world?

TastyMuffins · 07/10/2011 22:39

Why don't kids ride bikes to school?

LaWeasel · 07/10/2011 22:40

I was quite keen on other parents sending their kids in to school with heavy instruments on the train. I carried them the mile from station to school for them for 20p a time and had ice cream on fridays!

JLK2 · 07/10/2011 22:40

I imagine their parents are worried about them being hit by cars. Or the kids are just too fat to cycle.

vinegarpuss · 07/10/2011 22:40

depends on distance, weather, safety etc

do agree some dcs are driven unnecessaily

but you'll feel differently when it's your dc

so yes you're being a bit unreasonable

LittleMissFlustered · 07/10/2011 22:41

Some people have valid reasons for taking kids to school. That's fair enough, and I wouldn't argue with that.

I do get a little Hmm when an acquaintance of mine insists on taking all four of her kids to school in a morning. Three separate schools (senior, primary and pre), the eldest in year 9 and more than capable and desperately wanting to go on her own. The reason why is not forthcoming, she actually cannot give one. None of us quite know why she insists on being such a martyr. Some of her kids have to go to breakfast club so she can take the unwilling teen to school too. It's a direct bus, and as much as she complains that the kid is naive, she is making that worse by curtailing the few freedoms your average 13 year old has! Mental:(

larks35 · 07/10/2011 22:45

I was bullied both on the way and at school. On the way was because of my uniform (convent school) and in earlier times my violin, at school it was because I didn't really fit in with the group I thought were my friends (and had been at primary). Hey ho. The taunts on the way to school meant nothing, the bullying at school was painful but taught me a lot about coping with being just "me, myself and I", lesson that many never get to learn!

doesntfitin · 07/10/2011 22:46

Exactly LittleMissFlustered I think some parents need to control every movement their teenage children make.

I used to love walking to school smoking a fag back in the day.

Maryz · 07/10/2011 22:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

maypole1 · 07/10/2011 22:51

JLK2 to be honest it sonly seemed to be on the bus as the bullies didn't have the courage to bully actually in school for fear or getting caught

doesntfitinas your attitude was the one the school took that it was a bit of Tom foolery and some how my dd should stand up to 6 people threatening to kill him.
exactly the reason why we had to pick him many people you and the school seemingly thing that bullying is some king of life lesson that make you stronger

Hopefully you never have people follow you home , torment you and make threats to kill

LordOfTheFlies · 07/10/2011 22:52

I work 3 days so when DD goes to Breakfast Club I drop by DS (Yr 7) near the main road -and it is a busy main road, he crosses the bridge and walks another 10 minutes. He gets himself home, no problems.But as I'm going that way, it seems mad not to drop him off.

On my non-work days DD and I walk to and from.He walks with us to the main road and we meet up on the way home.

I was using the bus to get to work for a couple of weeks when my car was off the road. I had my eyes rudely opened at some of the school children.They push in front, even if I'm waiting there first, hog the seats, screech, yell to each other, phone, music.

One group of boys at a bus stop kept opening the emergency door from outside, so the bus couldn't move.

Once I saw a group of girls trying to throw each other in front of the buses -for fun Confused

So mine will walk/get a lift.

maypole1 · 07/10/2011 22:52

I wish the parents of the bullies would of picked up their children form school

doesntfitin · 07/10/2011 22:53

I live in a city , my kids all walked to the local comp carrying guitars/games kits etc

so maybe I'm talking bollocks Grin

maypole1 · 07/10/2011 22:54

I know lord of the files usually the parents of then bullies and nightmare kids that bus drivers and keen to have off the buses who think its mandatory for all children to get the bus

doesntfitin · 07/10/2011 22:56

I catch the bus home from work with a lot of school kids.

yes they yell and play loud music, just like we did as teenagers.

maypole1 · 07/10/2011 22:58

doesntfitin Biscuit

valleyqueen · 07/10/2011 22:58

I work on the same road as DDs school would be a bit mean of me to jump in the car and leave her to get the bus :)

She does get the bus home though.

doesntfitin · 07/10/2011 23:00

Thanks maypole

maypole1 · 07/10/2011 23:01

I know people can be arses their are many reasons why children get driven home some teachers teach at the same school as their dds like my dad

Child might have sn

Might be being bullied

Might be going some ware straight after school

Might not be coming straight home from school

LordOfTheFlies · 07/10/2011 23:04

No doesn'tfitin when I was a teenager which was more years than I care to remember we would have been thrown off the bus.
The drivers would only let 10 or so schoolchildren on one bus. We had to stand if fare-paying passengers gone on.
I've had 3 schoolgirls trying to get on one seat next to me ,practically on my lap.

And I've never tried to throw someone in front of a bus for a laugh.

Maybe I'm outdated but I'd want my DCs to have manners and if that means not using buses, so be it.
DS has a perfectly servicable pair of little legs and can walk.

LittleMissWoodscommaElle · 07/10/2011 23:05

I was hoping the dc would be able to go to school on the bus when they reach secondary.

However I looked at the timetable and it would either mean a 6am start to arrive at school over half an hour early or arrive in town at 9.10am then a 5 minute walk to school.

It is ridiculous that you can not get a bus into town 7 miles away to arrive before 9am. No wonder the place is so congested.

Feminine · 07/10/2011 23:07

It all depends.

I didn't want my just turned 11 yr old to have to travel across London ,in the dark 3/4 miles to his school...so we moved :)

I wouldn't have worried so much about my eldest, as he had a better school birthday and was naturally that bit older.

If I have to,I will drive my DD.

None of them are lazy ...but they all have differing skills ,and I parent them as such.