To think school have said no for my child absence for a family holiday

[HidingInTheBathroom]

We are going on holiday next month. My DS (8) school have refused the leave.

I handed the form in yesterday and got a reply today. I wouldn't mind but he never has time off school. He has not had 1 day off this year and last year he had 1 and half days off because he was sick at school and was still poorly the day after.

We have never been on holiday in school time and out of all his school life I think he has had a total of 4-5 days off ill.

They say if I take him I could get find. Going next month so my DS will be off school for a total of 10 days. We have been waiting for this holiday for 4 years.

AIBU to think they should off not refused this absence.

But, what's so amazingly virtuous about taking 5 days instead of 10? Everyone seems very set on playing by the rules, but these rules are a) made-up and b) change. Plenty of private schools allow time-off for sensible absences e.g. big trip once every few years, parents only available at certain time, vising family who live abroad (plenty of families are dual heritage and have to go abroad just to see their grandparents etc).

Secondly, what really irritates me more than the inflexibility of the system is the fact that this obsession with attendance figures is NOT about reasonably well-off families taking their children out for a nice educational trip for a week once a year. It was designed to target the chaotic families, with difficult lives, whose children are late every day, or don't come in every Friday, or disappear for weeks on end, or persistent truants. And that stuff isn't changing whilst the welfare officer is running round after children who are doing well and whose parents care enough about them to ask permission in the first place: the real offenders just don't ask and don't turn up!

Hidinginthebathroom You're going to either have to laugh at or leave this thread, there's something in the water her these last few days and it tastes bitter.

You've already been attacked with buzzwords (You feel 'entitled' didn't you know?) a criminal and not caring for your child.

YOU know that you are not an evil neglectful un grateful mother who's stifling her child's chance of ever being successful in life for the sake of a holiday (how vulgar), other people freeze their knackers off and are miserable JUST so their children can go to school, which is not only their right and privilegde its crucial because attendance records and targets mean SO MUCH to your child. Worst of all, you're actually goign somewhere other people don't LIKE!!!!! (insert more !!!!! at your leisure).

You're not only a bad mother but you have poor taste to boot... didn't you know???

Have a fantastic holiday!

i have always thought the whole if they miss x amount of days of school they will miss valuable school that they will not catch up on was pretty rubbish. our children go to school for 14 yrs give or take i think their schooling will survive a 10 day trip.

I think it's bonkers and wrong.

This rule is relatively new.When I was at school there was no such rule and I went to France every year in June which my parents couldn't afford to do any other time.Those holidays are forever etched on my brain and gave me a lot in terms of experience,aspirations etc.

There was no chaos in the 70s and 80s because the vast majority of parents like now can't afford either or just didn't want to take their kids out.

It didn't do my dsis and I any harm(in fact I'd say it furthered our education)both degree educated.

This rule is to compensate for those parents who can't be arsed to get their kids into school on a daily basis.Like the ridiculous fruit rule(brought in because a few refuse to feed their kids decent food) it stinks.

As an ex teacher myself I have to say it has no impact on a class as you continuously assess and classes are made up of 30 kids at various levels.

YANBU

go and enjoy your holiday im away to CP in november ds3 and dd out for 5 days and i did get permission but i have gone anyway .

God........enjoy your holiday. The school is tied to whatever rules it is tied to although it seems some use discretion and common sense more than others. Pay the fine and have a great holiday.

You are entitled to do whatever you wish with your children (as long as you can pay the fine). I personally don't find "enititled" an insult so don't let that get to you. As for rules - well you know what they say - they are for the obedience of fools and the guidance of wise men. The school needs to do what it thinks right but you don't need to go along with that as long as you are prepared to deal with whatever consequences there are.

I hope you have a lovely holiday and take no notice of what other people think. It's nothing to do with anyone else but you and your DCs.

oh and to add I do it every year to and will till dd and ds3 reach senior school age .

I don't approve of taking children out of school, but you have explained why you have chosen to and it doesn't sound as if it is something you would do again. I'm sure your DS will have a lovely time and his schooling will not suffer as a result.

I do think though that you have to understand the school's point of view too. Of course they have to say no. I suggest you pay the fine and get on with planning your lovely hliday.

Thank you aldiwhore if I was to listen to every comment I've had left my bastard husband, called the police for some one saying hello to my DC at the park, and may be even killed my self for being a disorganised mother

I will be going on holiday but I am still not happy with the school not authorising this.

Even the school was embarrassed when I spoke to them recently about this. They are at the mercy of the rules themselves, and are judged on them, but secretly most of them think they are bonkers (and that we need to spend more time worrying about the persistent truants, neglected kids who are late everyday etc).

I don't blame you, but like hardgoing and others have said, no point venting at them, their hands are tied also.

Just to play devil's advocate here, and sorry if I missed it, but why couldn't you book the holiday much much later (ie in a year's time) so that you could fit it in a holiday time and your husband could get time off? I don't get the urgency in needing to do it now. The weather is not an excuse that can't be negated by the above.

I think YABU to go as it stands.

Move to Australia! A friend of mine is over here at the moment and has taken her 3 dcs out of school for two weeks. When I asked her how the school viewed it she said they couldn't care less. She said towards the end of the Christmas term when they break up for the summer holidays the head always gives his farewell speech a few weeks early in the knowledge that lots of parents take their kids out early.

I'm a teacher, & actually, I think it should be up to the OP, given that she doesn't make a habit of it.

So long as she understands that it isn't the school's job to provide work or help her dc catch up afterwards.

I wouldn't do it myself, but that's easy for me to say when my holidays are rigidly set! Can quite see the temptation.

I have a year 11 lad currently AWOL for two weeks who will almost certainly fail his January entry English GCSE as a result - he missed two weeks last year, missed a vital controlled assessment, & now he's away exactly when we could park him with year 10 for a couple of weeks to do it. He's not a kid who can afford to drop a single mark tbh.

This is a monumentally stupid decision by his parents but 10 days hols at primary is really not the same thing - OP sounds as if she has thought it through.

(Btw teacher training days very definitely come out of our holidays! They don't affect the days kids spend in school).

i am surprised you asked tbh i wouldnt have or i would have lied. and said a relative had died or was sick or something its all bureaucratic rubbish and little to do with our dc education...and oh yes this might be against the consensus but as his mother i do think you are entitled to decided when he should go oh holiday

Not offended at all OP - just wanted to set the record straight :o

The thing is, if you don't tell them, it's actually worse for the school (so they told me) as it gets marked as unauthorized absence, rather than unauthorized holiday. But that's the risk they take by being all anal about it, that people will just disappear, and it will look worse than if they had asked, been refused, and been put down as unauthorized absence.

Plus (can you tell I've had an issue with this lately?), there's a trigger point for the involvement of the welfare office, and it's not 10 days absence (ours is about 16 days or a certain % of time off). In other words, you will be in trouble, but only very minorly for this action and you have done them a favour by telling them in advance. If you took them out for a month, it would trigger a visit from the welfare officer (I know people who have done this, they just ask you why you did it and tell you not to do it again).

I'm a bit torn with this one - he's only 8 and I let my DD go on holiday for 2 weeks when she was 5 because my parents were going on holiday and said they would take her with them, and because of my financial position then I knew she wouldn't get another foreign holiday (and she didn't, not several years - and in fact didn't go on another 2 week holiday abroad until she was 14)

OTOH, though, not being 'able' to afford holidays in school holiday time starts to sound pretty hollow when you are talking about a holiday to Florida - for the same price you could have got a cheaper holiday in the holidays?

I think YANBU to take him out of school for the holiday. He's 8, it won't matter too much if he misses a bit, especially if you make arrangements to catch up somehow without creating extra work for the teachers (eg borrow a school mate's lesson books and photocopy and teach him at home??)

However YABU to expect the school to be ok with it. They can't condone it or everyone would do it and then there would be chaos.

So I understand your decision, but I think you had to expect that there would be disapproval/a fine from school.

To put it in perspective, so far this term to have attendance of 81% you only need to have had 4 days off. Once you are this low you are classed as a persistent absentee and EWO (education welfare officer) has no choice but to chase you regarding attendance. If you take 10 days off you are going to fall way down and even if you don't have another day off all the year, you will only rise out the schools danger zone of Persistent absenteeism after Easter. The government has introduced stringent targets for schools regarding PA, you will be fined its £50 per child per responsible adult, so 2 kids 2 parents £200.

If you are so concerned about your child's learning that you pay for a private tutor why are you not concerned that he will miss 2 weeks of school which you say you don't expect the teachers to make up for him?

I may have missed it but surely the original holiday over Christmas was going to cost way more than this one in term time - why is cost now an issue?

Is the holiday of a lifetime for you rather than your child, I'd think it was a shame if an 8 year old's lifetime highlight was a trip to theme parks.

As others have said YABtotallyU to expect the school to sanction this.

Just go on holiday and enjoy it.

Be prepared though to pay the fine of £200.00.

auntpetunia, ah so the secret is to go away at the end of the academic year? say early July?

Fourkids yes the later you go on holiday, as long as you haven't had too much time off for illness you would be fine.

Fourkids yes the later you go on holiday, as long as you haven't had too much time off for illness you would be fine.