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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think school have said no for my child absence for a family holiday

335 replies

HidingInTheBathroom · 06/10/2011 17:05

We are going on holiday next month. My DS (8) school have refused the leave.

I handed the form in yesterday and got a reply today. I wouldn't mind but he never has time off school. He has not had 1 day off this year and last year he had 1 and half days off because he was sick at school and was still poorly the day after.

We have never been on holiday in school time and out of all his school life I think he has had a total of 4-5 days off ill.

They say if I take him I could get find. Going next month so my DS will be off school for a total of 10 days. We have been waiting for this holiday for 4 years.

AIBU to think they should off not refused this absence.

OP posts:
ChitChattingWithKids · 06/10/2011 17:23

"Also if you go Florida in the summer the weather is far to hot for the younger ones."

No sympathy OP. My family are all in Australia and the reality for me is that if I want to see my parents and siblings I have to go in our summer which is the depth of their winter, so we end up spending a miserably cold month and paying peak prices for the privilege.

So pay the fine and deal with it. YABU!!!!!!!!!

Bunbaker · 06/10/2011 17:23

"so the only time my husband could get off work for 2 weeks is next month."

Do the school know all the circumstances? When DD was at primary school we took her out of school three times (5 days each time) because OH is self employed and we couldn't book holidays far enough in advance to get school holidays. Each time the school authorised it. I must add that DD is bright and didn't fall behind with her school work, and we only took her out in years 2,3 and 4. I wouldn't do it now.

aldiwhore · 06/10/2011 17:23

So now the OP is a criminal as well as selfish and unconcerned about her child's education?

Get a grip.

Go op have a wonderful time, keep reading, writing, check out the curriculum markers and make sure your DS achieves them.

It is NOT that big a deal, not as big a deal as going on the holiday of a lifetime. Enjoy yourself.

Hulababy · 06/10/2011 17:25

TBF missing 10 days isn't the end of the world and isn't going to seriously affect your child's education, as a one off.

It's not ideal in term time no, but not the end of the world either.

And I say this as an ex teacher and now a TA.

But when I was younger I missed two weeks of school EVEY year during most of my childhood, as did my brother and my sister. My dad's factory had shut down weeks in June and they were not in school holidays and they were the only week's he could take off. He couldn't have time off in school holidays, so it was then or not at all. So we missed school. But we still all did really well. All three of us passed our exams, we all went to univeristy, all got degrees, all got decent jobs.

And it really doesn't affect the rest of the class, and for the most part - especially at this age - it doesn't really affect the teacher either.

poppyknot · 06/10/2011 17:26

I would have thought that attendance 'racked up' through not being ill does not entitle you to extra concession for taking holidays in term time. Our end of year attendance record has about 15 (haven't counted them....) codes for the variety of absences through the year, with unauthorised absence having only one (so no disctinctions of type).

JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar · 06/10/2011 17:28

Confused YANBU to think they've said no, because clearly they have.

I'm on the fence completely as to whether or not you should take him out of school for two weeks, but YABU to expect school to give you their blessing.

soandsosmummy · 06/10/2011 17:29

Sorry YABU. Education is a right in this country but in some others its a major privilege. School is not there to be missed.

By all means go it won't ruin your child's chances in life but take the fine in your stride and live with it.

I do agree though the way the prices get hiked up in the holidays is horrendous

ScaredTEECat · 06/10/2011 17:30

"Also if you go Florida in the summer the weather is far to hot for the younger ones."

And yet millions of children live in Florida...

LIZS · 06/10/2011 17:32

sorry yabu - surely you could have staggered it over half term to at least minimise the impact.

NigellaTufnel · 06/10/2011 17:33

YABU

Why do you have to go to Florida? Why can't you just go to Cornwall, or Greece, or Austria, or Scotland etc etc etc like anyone else.

fourkids · 06/10/2011 17:34

Just go and enjoy it.

Would anyone be getting their knockers in a twist if your DC had chicken px and missed two weeks' of school at that age? I think not.

I think the school is forced to refuse authorisation if you can't give a good reason why they should authorise it, but unless they actually fine you (never heard of anyone this happened to) it isn't really too much of a problem for you - more of a problem for the school I think, that they have so many unauthorised abscenses to explain.

Well brought up, bright, achieving kids who attend all the rest of the time aren't really who the zero tolerance is aimed at is it? Just impossible to not have a blanket rule.

So, no, I think probably YANBU (but not worth getting worked up over either)...unless you DC is struggling at school, in which case, taking him out for a fortnight would probably be a bad idae and you woud therefore be BU.

booyhoo · 06/10/2011 17:34

your title does not make sense

YABU aswell BTW.

ClarenceDarrow · 06/10/2011 17:34

I'd tell them to bite me. A fine, no less! Bonkers.

Pandemoniaa · 06/10/2011 17:34

Not quite sure what makes the OP unique in being "a young family not able to afford the extreme cost for school holiday holidays" and thus expecting some sort of dispensation to gallivant off to Florida with the school's blessing.

I think it may be time to get a better grasp on reality here and understand that while you have school age children, you may have to compromise on the sort of holidays you take if your budget is limited. It comes with the territory, I'm afraid.

Original poster
HidingInTheBathroom · 06/10/2011 17:35

Ok so in your eyes you think it is out of order going on a 2 week holiday in term time. I help my DS with his school work and he is not behind. I also pay for extra tuition.

OP posts:
fourkids · 06/10/2011 17:35

'knickers' of course

CupOfBrownJoy · 06/10/2011 17:37

Actually I don't necessarily thinks its "out of order" to go on a 2 week holiday in term time, OP.

It is unreasonable to expect the school to condone it.

fourkids · 06/10/2011 17:38

in a nutshell, what CupOfBrownJoy said :)

NigellaTufnel · 06/10/2011 17:38

It's just the 'we've waited four years for this' comment, that is getting people's backs up. Why has it taken four years?

You are obviously a bit peeved with the school, but why do you feel that going to Florida means that you have to take ds out of school?

Pandemoniaa · 06/10/2011 17:39

You seem to be rather confused, OP. On the one hand you pay for private tuition yet on the other you seem quite unbothered about your child missing 10 days of school.

Now I don't actually think 10 days off will necessarily blight his educational prospects but equally, I don't see why you feel so entitled to a trip to Florida when surely, as a parent who is normally so involved with your son's education, you must understand the importance of attendance in term time?

Blu · 06/10/2011 17:41

" We are going to Florida. Was men't to go last year at Christmas but the flights got cancelled due to snow. so the only time my husband could get off work for 2 weeks is next month. "

OP: explain that you originally planned the holiday during the school holidays as you intended not to take your children out of school, but due to cancellation and lack of flexibility you have been unable to re-arrange for any other time, and due to your DH's work you are unable to take a family hol at any other time.

They probably will not authorise it, but it is the truth and ought to get you out of being fined.

I am not generally in favour of taking term-time hols, have resorted to camping and short breaks in the UK, but I don't think people should be FINED for doing things differntly to me!

TheSecondComing · 06/10/2011 17:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

aldiwhore · 06/10/2011 17:41

Not in my eyes op, but you were daft to ask on here lol!!

I actually salute anyone who's not stupid enough to pay the outrageous school holiday prices and knows a holiday of a LIFETIME needs to be done at the best time for them as a family. And actually Florida in the summer is too hot for many people, me included, I wouldn't put my kids through that just to help the government look better. AND I am a massive supporter of my school, I don't take it lightly, it is a right, one I am glad we have, but seriously MN has been taken over by hysterical wailing and smug judgey pants of late, or is it always that way?

ChitChattingWithKids · 06/10/2011 17:42

I think you're out of order to think you have a sufficiently good reason that the school should let you go. You're reasoning is no different to 90% of every other family with children at school.

The school CANNOT give 10 days absence to every child at the school. Therefore they have to look at the reasons.

GypsyMoth · 06/10/2011 17:43

If he's not 'behind' why is he having extra tuition?

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