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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think school have said no for my child absence for a family holiday

335 replies

HidingInTheBathroom · 06/10/2011 17:05

We are going on holiday next month. My DS (8) school have refused the leave.

I handed the form in yesterday and got a reply today. I wouldn't mind but he never has time off school. He has not had 1 day off this year and last year he had 1 and half days off because he was sick at school and was still poorly the day after.

We have never been on holiday in school time and out of all his school life I think he has had a total of 4-5 days off ill.

They say if I take him I could get find. Going next month so my DS will be off school for a total of 10 days. We have been waiting for this holiday for 4 years.

AIBU to think they should off not refused this absence.

OP posts:
Alouiseg · 06/10/2011 17:44

Looking back on my children's primary school days I don't think it would have mattered if they'd missed 10 days every term.

November is full of nativity and Christmas Fayre stuff. Have fun. I sincerely doubt whether it will impact on there GCSE results.

Alouiseg · 06/10/2011 17:44

There Their

aldiwhore · 06/10/2011 17:45

Our school can and does. Not every parent needs to use that though.

Not all families are the same you know!

NigellaTufnel has it crossed your mind that it might have taken 4 years to either save up for it or to wait until the children are at the right age to appreciate it?

valiumredhead · 06/10/2011 17:48

A family holiday take priority over 10 days of school any time in my book!

We can take holidays in term time - the Head thinks it's up to the family to decide when to go. A very sensible man imo.

SamMiguel · 06/10/2011 17:48

Oh for goodness sake, 10 days off school for an 8 year old is not the end of the world! A holiday of a lifetime with his family in Florida will create much more lasting memories than the times tables and spellings he would have learned. He can catch up if necessary. The OP and her family want to go to Florida not Cornwall or Greece etc. and why not? Also, I would agree, for a Disney holiday, off peak times are much more manageable with children and not just because of the heat.
We took dsd out 2 years ago for a family holiday (my Dad's special birthday and he had treated us all). My ds was given permission but my dsd was refused. There was no way we were leaving her behind so we went anyway. Just got marked as unauthorised absence and never had a fine.
Let's put it into perspective, it's 10 days out of 12 years of schooling versus a lifetime of memories!
Enjoy your holiday OP.

Itsjustafleshwound · 06/10/2011 17:49

But it isn't about what schooling they missed ... I just don't know what planet the OP lives on, to think that a school is going to condone missing 10 days because you believe you are entitled to it!

WorzselMummage · 06/10/2011 17:49

Go op, Have a wonderful holiday. If they fine you then pay up and then forget all about it.

Your DS will remember his holiday for the rest of his life, he will learn a lot from it and i'm sure you will all have a bloody wonderful time.

:)

valiumredhead · 06/10/2011 17:49

'Travel broadens the mind' and all that...

NorfolkNChance · 06/10/2011 17:50

YANBU to want to go, you have tried to do it out of school time but because of the snow couldn't.

YABU to expect the school (who will be under immense pressure from the LA & OFSTED) to authorise it. It's not always the case that they can IYKWIM.

SamMiguel · 06/10/2011 17:54

Our school have a sensible policy on this. They generally authorise unless it is SATS time but they look at overall attendance and they also look how many previous term time holidays have been authorised for the particular child. They will usually then say yes (unless attendance is particularly dire) but this is the last time we will be able to authorise this. As parents, we then know that we make our choices before the holiday is even booked.

scarlettsmummy2 · 06/10/2011 17:55

i just wouldn't tell them until the last minute, and certainly wouldn't ask them to authorise it. Better to apologise later. I have done it twice, and am planning to do it again at Christmas, however, it has only every been a couple of days. The school didn't say anything at all and no fine.

Pandemoniaa · 06/10/2011 17:55

Here's hoping the trip lives up to expectations after all these years of waiting and the potential to be fined by the LA on the OP's return from it. In all the places in all of the world, I wouldn't personally pick Florida!

Hardgoing · 06/10/2011 17:56

The school does not get as penalised for unauthorised holidays as it does for you just disappearing (unauthorised absence). Furthermore, there is an allowance, by law, for up to 10 days discretionary absence. Individual authorities then decide whether they want to allow the 10, 5 or none, or fine people. So, all this outrage is rather falsely misplaced, there's nothing virtuous about taking 5 days rather than 10, it's down to individual interpretation of authorities and head-teachers.

Personally, I think 10 days every few years for a one-off spectacular holiday, which you originally did have booked in the school holidays is completely and utterly justified (you have to go when you can get the time off within a set period) I wouldn't waste one more second worrying about it. However, it would be a bit foolish to do this every year (and I think they would have more reason to say no).

GypsyMoth · 06/10/2011 18:00

Op will feel entitled to do it every single time

Original poster
HidingInTheBathroom · 06/10/2011 18:00

Ok let me try and calmly explain a little more. My son is a young one and have been having extra tution since he was in reception which my parents pay far thankfully. We also do lots of extra activity to help towards his education.

It has been 4 years because we saved for the wedding. We did not go on honeymoon as wanted to take the children on the trip of a lifetime so saved and more saved to go last year. We was due to go and spend Christmas and new year as my DH work had granted this leave (normally they can not have leave over Christmas period). But the day we was due to leave the flights got cancelled due to the snow Sad

We had to wait to get the money back until we could book again. By that time my husband could not have leave at Christmas It we could not afford the summer holidays and it would be far too hot for our DC ( been there in heat of summer when I was little while they had a heat wave). And yes children live on florida but are used to it. My DC have been excited since last year for this holiday as they was men't to go last Christmas. So the only time my husband could get off was November.

I do not think I have a right to go. But I do think taking a child out for 2 weeks is not a unreasonable request. Since he has never have had time off illness or over holidays. He is not behind and it is a trip of a lifetime.

Also if I remember rightly they school don't mind closing for strikes. Teachers training days (when they have six weeks off) sorry if I offend any teachers.

OP posts:
ScaredBear · 06/10/2011 18:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Jacanne · 06/10/2011 18:02

I'm a teacher - I don't think you're being unreasonable. I am sure it won't harm your ds to miss 10 days school. Family holidays are important, going abroad is an educational experience. We are allowed to have holidays in term time if child's attendence is higher than 95%,

Go on holiday and have a bloody good time - surely they only fine repeat offenders!

AmberLeaf · 06/10/2011 18:03

YANBU

Jacanne · 06/10/2011 18:03

Just to point out Teacher Training Days are taken out of the original holiday allowance so they're not extra days off, ifyswim.

forrestgump · 06/10/2011 18:04

Could you not hold out until next year? Have a week off before Easter (taking 5 days off school maximum) then the second week at Easter?
You have waited 4 years, for a fab holiday, what is a few more months?

I suspect going in November is cheaper than going at Christmas and going just before Easter is cheaper too?

poppyknot · 06/10/2011 18:05

With this high attendance thing, does this mean that children who have a lot of sickness are not considered so leniently with the unauthorised holidays?

Blu · 06/10/2011 18:07

OP - YANBU to go on this hol, under these circumstances.
And I hope that the school will understand and that even though they can't officially authorise the absence, that they will not impose the fine themselves, or pass it on to the LEA. Some LEA's act independently of the school in this respect, Have you explained the full circumstances to the school? About the school hol booking, the snow, the refund, and your DH's leave, etc?

Original poster
HidingInTheBathroom · 06/10/2011 18:08

Jacanne sorry but it always got to me the staff training days. On the our school calendar it says school closed for staff training. So I always thought it was not classed as a holiday. Sorry if I offended you.

Should the aurthisation not go on your child's attendance through out the school life and if the school think they wornt be losing out or unable to catch up. Also it's not like I'm taking him out during a stats year.

OP posts:
mumeeee · 06/10/2011 18:10

In the circumstances OP YANBU. Can you explain to the school that you originally booked in school holiday time but it got cancelled and your husband can only have 2 weeks in November.

WishIwereAtTheWiesnProst · 06/10/2011 18:10

I think school is BU, holidays are good for kids. Why do they have to attend every day it isn't work. Let them be young.

BTW we are having lovely weather right now, you've picked a very good time to come to FL

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