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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to find some people attitudes, such as "i work hard i deserve it" really sickening

747 replies

carriedababi · 06/10/2011 11:08

was reading some magazine in the dentist, there was a woman from dragons den iin the mag.
saying how she had a wardrode worth 3 million.

and she went onto say well i work hard for it.
so ideserve it.
and something todo with she sees her expensive clothes as a symbol of how sucessful she is.

really made me feel sick, how a horrible nasty attitude to have in life.

i'm sure even if i was a millionaire, i would not be proud about spending that much on clothes.

i don't know its just the arrogant im entitled to this that got me.
and dont they think people how have less also work hard. probably alot of them work alot harder

what do you think

OP posts:
DandyLioness · 06/10/2011 16:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

kenobi · 06/10/2011 16:32

I totally get what the point you're making.
I felt sad that she feels she has to justify it when people like the MiC brats don't think twice about money.
But I guess what you're saying is that it isn't justification but a form of peacocking?

LieInsAreRarerThanTigers · 06/10/2011 16:35

Being an entrepreneur is akin to gambling in many ways - entrepreneurs take calculated risks, gamble and often lose, potentially causing misery for others. Not virtuous in itself is it? If they are lucky and it works out the world says 'Well they deserve their success.' If someone is a brilliant inventor but doesn't pitch in the right way or is too 'nice' for a tough business world, then they don't 'deserve' success in the same way...it doesn't really make sense to me.
I agree the self-made millionaire is perhaps more likely to want to show it off a bit.

kenobi · 06/10/2011 16:35

There's a rogue 'what' in that sentence, what?

Also off topic slightly but a friend took her new American boyfriend to a Scottish friend's shoot. She rang round everyone she new to borrow an old Barbour and plus fours rather than have the ignominy of him turning up in new. This was last year, 90 years AFTER Downton is set. Sigh...

wildfig · 06/10/2011 16:35

not having read the article I imagine there was a fair bit of Journalist Maths going on there to get to that attention-grabbing figure: 'So, Ms Devey, how much did you pay for that suit... right, wow! And how many have you got?... You don't know? OK, well, roughly... And how many do you think you buy each year? On average? And you're how old now?..." [frantic mental addition, adding on 'for inflation', plus shoes, etc]

WilsonFrickett · 06/10/2011 16:40

I read it as both kenobi, but of course you can't know what is going through someone's head. There's also an element that here is someone who is obviously interested in clothes - the designs she wears are fairly out there - which must feed into the image she wants to construct. As I said earlier, I'm not that into clothes, but I would spend a lot of money on art if I could. And food. I'd be like those pacific island races that measure their money by their weight

DH bought a new wax jacket (not a Barbour as we are not made of money) and it's shineyness offends my eyes Smile

kenobi · 06/10/2011 16:55

I'd buy art too, and a little farm and lots of help around the (new) house, and I'd invest in things - inventions that would help people, charities etc etc.

And I'd buy clothes for sure. But one of my old colleagues said that if she didn't have to work she'd go shopping everyday. I found that baffling.

Georgimama · 06/10/2011 16:58

Arf at the idea that it would be more worthy to spend £3 million on art. What kind of art? Couture is an art form in itself.

missymarmite · 06/10/2011 17:02

I don't have a problem with conspicuous consumption. I don't have a problem with people being flash with the cash. I do get annoyed when people claim they work hard, so they deserve their money, which implies that anyone who is poor must be so because they are lazy and work shy. There are hundreds of millions of people out there who work their fingers to the bone for a pittance. They don't deserve poverty!

WibblyBibble · 06/10/2011 17:08

YANBU, most rich people completely lie to themselves and others about 'working hard' to try and coroborrate a 'just world hypothesis' which is false. Compare: a company director gets up at 8, fafs about, sits at desk all day telling people what to do, gets secretary to type everything, shouts at people, goes home and eats posh crap, has a nanny to put the kids to bed and a cleaner and all that; a single mum working as a cleaner who still gets e.g. housing benefit: up at 6 with toddler, prepares food, gets everyone dressed and to nursery, gets to work at 7, lugs heavy buckets about most of the morning, picks up toddler, makes dinner, takes toddler to park/toddler group/whatever, plays with toddler (this is actually much more difficult for adults due to brain structure changing), makes dinner, does washing, hoovers, washing up, gets toddler to bed, pretty much just collapses from 8 herself. Who works harder? Not exactly a difficult one, is it?

kenobi · 06/10/2011 17:09

I dunno Georgi, nice pretty art.
I don't know that anyone was saying it was better to buy art, actually. Just that Wilson and I would like some. In our imaginary rich world.

wideawakenurse · 06/10/2011 17:10

I am a nurse. Nope, I don't get paid that much when you consider my level of responsibility and accountability. Yes, I work really hard.

However, I say good on HD. She clearly has worked hard, taken risks and now reaps the rewards. Her having more money than me, has no bearing on my life. I certainly do not begrudge it.

What I do begrudge is people like penguins at 13.48 who claim that because they 'know a lot of nurses', are able to make sweeping statements about the hours they work and make assumptions they are on 'sweet schedules'.

kenobi · 06/10/2011 17:11

Should she have said "I took some unimaginable risks and probably a huge dollop of luck, therefore I deserve it?"

I'm not sure that by saying "I work hard, I deserve it", she is implying that other hard workers DON't deserve it, to be honest. It's extrapolating too far.

Roseflower · 06/10/2011 17:13

There is no need to make it a competition between the ceo's vs cleaners imo.

Both work equally hard, but in different ways. Although CEO's will get a lot more benefits- first class travel, company car and so on.

Also a lot of rich people I know did do the manual labour jobs and worked their way up. Its often the experience of poverty that often provides fire in the belly.

Pagwatch · 06/10/2011 17:14

Saying that you work hard and therefore earn your money dies not imply that anyone poor is lazy.
Some people may think or say that but just because someone makes a statement about themselves does not mean you can extrapolate anything you want from it.

It is endless on here. If someone says "I am so happy I breastfed as I think it is good for my baby" it dies not mean that they think you choosing the opposite is bad.

It is how most of the barneys on here start and it is incredibly chippy and self involved.

Fwiw I love beautiful designer clothing. I think they are quite lovely.

WilsonFrickett · 06/10/2011 17:15

Georgi I want a Rothko actually, but don't know if 3m will cut it?

I was wondering if you replaced 'clothes' with 'art' or 'cars' or 'houses' did it make a difference to people's perceptions? The idea that buying clothes = bad is so gender loaded - no-one's asking Theo Paphitos how much he spends on his wardrobe, are they?

kenobi can we have llamas on the farm?? Pleeeeeeeze???

WilsonFrickett · 06/10/2011 17:16

Wibbly - do you really think that's all a CEO does btw? Some of them actually do their own typing, you know Hmm

Roseflower · 06/10/2011 17:17

Pag isn't this what the phrase "professionally offended" is made for? Grin

Meteorite · 06/10/2011 17:20

Why can't people just say "I worked hard, I was lucky and I'm enjoying the benefits" instead of using the word "deserve"?

MarshaBrady · 06/10/2011 17:20

It is great that more females are financially successful. Because they are more likely to spend things other than for eg fast cars.

Great. Buy art and buy lovely fashion. There are loads of female run fashion labels too.

Pagwatch · 06/10/2011 17:23

Equally, why don't people just think " oh fair enough. Good on her"

I said way back that sometimes people explain in terms of deserving because they wish to separate themselves from those who inherit or win money.

And possibly they spend a lot of time with people who say "it's alright for you. You are just so lucky" so justify themselves more than they should

LieInsAreRarerThanTigers · 06/10/2011 17:23

I agree Meteorite. Because 'deserve' to me means 'and others don't because I am special'.

northernrock · 06/10/2011 17:24

I dont care what the rich spend their money on as long as they don't hurt my eyes with their tacky Mc Mansions and 3 storey Fuckoffmobiles.

Pagwatch · 06/10/2011 17:24

roseflower

Steady on

Roseflower · 06/10/2011 17:25

Dont we all say "deserve" about something?

Its Friday night "I deserve this glass on wine"

I have been working really hard "I deserve this holiday"

I have only had bad realtionships "I deserve to meet someone nice"

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