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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to find some people attitudes, such as "i work hard i deserve it" really sickening

747 replies

carriedababi · 06/10/2011 11:08

was reading some magazine in the dentist, there was a woman from dragons den iin the mag.
saying how she had a wardrode worth 3 million.

and she went onto say well i work hard for it.
so ideserve it.
and something todo with she sees her expensive clothes as a symbol of how sucessful she is.

really made me feel sick, how a horrible nasty attitude to have in life.

i'm sure even if i was a millionaire, i would not be proud about spending that much on clothes.

i don't know its just the arrogant im entitled to this that got me.
and dont they think people how have less also work hard. probably alot of them work alot harder

what do you think

OP posts:
toptramp · 06/10/2011 17:31

Who dosn't want to be well dressed? Honestly? Don't we all want to look fab and glam? I don't think Hilary looks too vulgar although I do hate conspicuos designer labels. She always looks smart. If I had the cash I'd go mad on clothes. Does that make me shallow? Not really. I am also into charity work, literature, science, languages etc. I guess I can't really call myself a true environmentalist if I like shopping so much.Lets bear in mind that cheap brands such as Primark exploit the 3rd world terribly and are horrendously unecological. Good clothes last longer.

AbsDuWolef · 06/10/2011 17:32

Georgi - I totally agree. Some couture is incredibly beautiful, a form of sculpture. There's a very good article in the Intelligent Life magazine which is a man's view on fashion and he says for many women, fashion is to them what sport is to men.

I do think that basically because the fashion industry is run and populated by women and gay men it isn't taken seriously, it's seen as a frippery. Which is really insulting

and yes, saying "I worked hard and therefore got x" does not mean "you're obviously a lazy slacker and hence don't have x"

toptramp · 06/10/2011 17:37

Oh yes; I also believe that a girl can never have too many pairs of shoes. Unless they start overflowing from your garage of course! Grin

wordfactory · 06/10/2011 17:55

If folk are offended by HD saying her hard work is the reason she is successful, what would they rather?

I am successful because I am more talented than most?
I am successful because I have taken more risks than most?

I think some people would be only happy if she said, actually, I don't deserve owt. I've just had abit of a touch.

mateysmum · 06/10/2011 17:58

I amShock at Wibbly's idea of how a company director works and lives. My DH is one and not a single comment you make applies to him or his colleagues. I don't see anyone who behaves like this running a successful company for long. And actually most entrepeneurs simply cannot afford nannies etc until they have worked for years for their success, by which time the kids are grown up! All their money is often ploughed back into the business. Therefore they are not only doing a highly demanding job, but doing all the family stuff as well.
Do you call spag bol "posh crap"? 'cos that's what at least one company director will be having for his tea tonight.

Pagwatch · 06/10/2011 18:07

I think you can see anything you want in what people say if you try hard enough.

I strongly suspect that she deserves her money more than I do.

I think she sounds fab

MilicentBystander · 06/10/2011 18:29

Wibbly, what a load of old cobblers!

Just had a call from my Director DH to say not to save any dinner (meatballs, super posh!) as he is stuck 200 miles away and will pick up chips on the way home. Might be back by midnight!
Although, thinking about it he could just swing by Wibbly's and pinch that one off her shoulder Wink

MilicentBystander · 06/10/2011 18:32

As for the luck stuff. We get this a fair bit. Usually from people whose hubbies are tucked up at home every night by 5.30 and who would break into a cold sweat at the thought of working more than their weekly alloted hours or taking a risk greater than trying the new Chinese on the High Street.

SlackSally · 06/10/2011 18:33

I have no idea how hard this woman has worked (none of us do really, though we can assume that she has probably worked quite hard), but I don't see why someone is making unfavourable comparisons with other professions, teaching in particular (I am a teacher).

I'm by no means the hardest working person in the world but there is no WAY I work 9-2:30. That's just insulting.

Abra1d · 06/10/2011 18:41

I don't think all the people on this thread appreciate just how hard some people do work. And how long they've been doing it for. Were you doing four hours' homework a night every night since you were about 15?

Did you have jobs that required ten hours in the office plus obligatory studying for exams. For years and years (put your hands up, medics and accountants).

Or, have you been in City jobs that require being in the office every morning by seven am at the latest. Every day.

I'll put my hand up and say that, despite my Oxbridge degree and my good CV I don't work that hard. Can't be bothered. I know I'd earn more if I did, but I am happy pottering around at home some of the time and spending time with my children. Seems worth it to me.

bugster · 06/10/2011 18:48

Milicent I think you are really out of order to condemn husbands who are at home at 5.30 pm. Maybe spending the evening with their family is important to them, rather than being an absent father? It doesn't mean that they Are not hard working.

MilicentBystander · 06/10/2011 18:48

I haven't known DH do less than a 60 hour week for years. It is frequently more. I haven't had a holiday without a Blackberry and laptop for years. It is not unusual to find him in the office at 2 am on an International call.
And he's being doing this for years and years. I was a teacher. It was hard work but in a different league entirely from DH's life and that of his colleagues. And they earn every single bloody penny.

WhereYouLeftIt · 06/10/2011 18:48

?It's a funny thing, the more I practice the luckier I get? (Arnold Palmer, golfer)

What we call luck is not always just luck. It can also be the ability to see how to retrieve a bad situation, and the willingness to do what's necessary to turn it around.

MilicentBystander · 06/10/2011 18:50

bugster condemn? Hmm
Hardly.

I'm sure they are all very hardworking but the ones I know are happy not to put in the extra that a different lifestyle demands. Nothing wrong with that at all but just don;t go all, " Ooh you're so lucky !" on me, is all.

bugster · 06/10/2011 18:52

I'm not shedding any tears for him Milicent. If people want to live like that, they have established their priorities, it is their choice.

ShellyBoobs · 06/10/2011 18:57

bugster you're having a go at people who don't think that being home by 5.30pm each night is the way to success but a few posts ago you were slating company directors who you think don't work hard enough.

Which is it to be? You can't have both.

Soojie · 06/10/2011 19:00

And do you really think she said that, or do you think the magazine just wrote it that way to make an impact? Everything seems to be sentaionalised these days.

dikkertjedap · 06/10/2011 19:04

Well, I am sure she has worked hard and she was lucky and earned lots of money so she can spend lots of money on whatever she likes.

Clearly, lots of other people also work very hard but don't earn so much money (and often pay a higher proportion in tax as well), this is just part of how society works.

Alternatively, you are a banker, work hard, play hard, lose a lot of money, the tax payer bails you out and you get a very generous pension. I do have problems with that though ....

TotemPole · 06/10/2011 19:07

If people want to live like that, they have established their priorities, it is their choice.

bugster, it's also the other OHs choice to be home by 5:30 and they have established their own priorities. That doesn't make Milicent and her OH lucky. There's always a trade off.

TheRealTillyMinto · 06/10/2011 19:13

Last year i earnt app. £195k for a 60-70 hour week.

do i deserve it? completely irrelvant question to me. why do i earn more money than most?

  1. good starts in life. many positives with some tough events at a young age. e.g. my DF was a bully.
  2. nothing uncontrollable we could not recover from. e.g. we have had death in the family, serious illness but nothing you cannot recover from. such as terminal illness, chronic illness.
  3. the right personal characteristics. optimism, realism, resilience, hard working, planning.
  4. good partnership

i look at people who earn more than me & try to work out how they do it - someone has got to earn £300k, i might as well try & make it me.

i dont consider if i deserve it - i try to take the correct approach to achieve it.

NB: i am not a banker - i make things to make people's lives easier & if i get it right, companies pay me for them. if i get it wrong i work longer hours for less money or even lose my house.

bugster · 06/10/2011 19:13

I wasn't slating anyone for not working hard enough, company directors or anyone else. i think you have me confused with someone else, shelly. I'm not saying that being home by 5.30 is the way to 'success', whatever that means. I suppose you mean making a lot of money, and maybe it is difficult to do thAt in Britain and be home by 5.30 regularly. People have differwnt ideas of what success constitutes. I object to people getting on their high horse because they or their partner works these tremendous hours, and we're all meant to say 'wow, aren't they amazing'! My husband is regularly home at 5.30 and we are fortunate enough to live comfortably, because we don't live in Britain. No doubt there it would be a completely different story. In the culture we live in, it is not expected that employees will work late evenings and weekends, even up to a fairly senior level. It is comsidered important for parents of both sexes to spend time with their families.

ShellyBoobs · 06/10/2011 19:17

bugster I apologise if I've confused you with someone else.

MilicentBystander · 06/10/2011 19:18

No one wants anyone to say, " Wow, aren't you amazing!".

We would like them to quit with the, " Wow aren't you lucky!" stuff, though.

TotemPole · 06/10/2011 19:19

bugster, generally, in the UK people who stick to the 8 hours a day jobs won't make a huge amount of money. There may be some, but they'll be the exception, not the rule.

TheRealTillyMinto · 06/10/2011 19:21

bugster: I object to people getting on their high horse because they or their partner works these tremendous hours, and we're all meant to say 'wow, aren't they amazing'!

i am explaining how i personally see it but expect a flaming (but hey that is not the end of the world)! if someone is talking about their DP they are proud of their efforts for their family. i dont think that is a bad thing.

i would like people to be happy with their choices & change things if they dont like them.