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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to find some people attitudes, such as "i work hard i deserve it" really sickening

747 replies

carriedababi · 06/10/2011 11:08

was reading some magazine in the dentist, there was a woman from dragons den iin the mag.
saying how she had a wardrode worth 3 million.

and she went onto say well i work hard for it.
so ideserve it.
and something todo with she sees her expensive clothes as a symbol of how sucessful she is.

really made me feel sick, how a horrible nasty attitude to have in life.

i'm sure even if i was a millionaire, i would not be proud about spending that much on clothes.

i don't know its just the arrogant im entitled to this that got me.
and dont they think people how have less also work hard. probably alot of them work alot harder

what do you think

OP posts:
laptopdancer · 09/10/2011 18:01

Id love to be able to wake at 5, breastfeed, do a few hrs work and then emerge for the day downstairs. Sadly I have to have me and my family up and out by 7 am. hate working for other people

Xenia · 09/10/2011 18:32

That was Saturday. On the week days we had to get 3 chidlren to school co aches by 7.30am and the twins up and out with me in the car. However it's not a competition. My life now is really easy because I don't have little children. I found psychologically everything much easier too once I started working for myself 17 years ago.

laptopdancer · 09/10/2011 18:43

I would love! to work for myself

and btw it wasnt actually you I was referring to

WilsonFrickett · 09/10/2011 19:12

I'm not sure the 'how hard people work' argument is hugely helpful though, because it is so subjective. I could not teach - just couldn't do it - so for me that is a 'hard' job. There's a lot of people would find my job impossible (copywriter) but for me it's actually pretty easy. Challenging, because I love it and want to do it well, but its not hard, to me.

The 'how many hours' you do is, again, relative - if you work 100 hours a week in a minimum wage job you're still not going to earn as much as someone who does 25 hours a week in a better paid job. Although I do think that there is a culture in the UK that you have to put the hours in at the beginning of your career, and certainly my last employer was all about presenteeism - so it didn't matter how much I did outwith my contracted hours from home, only time in the office was really noticed.

Someone asked up thread what the definition of an entrepreneur was and to me, it's the risk-taking element, the refusal to take no for an answer, and the committment involved in taking on responsibility for other people's livelihoods. That's why - IMO - they deserve the bigger rewards. Ultimately, if someone else pays your salary, then the risks are fewer. And, I don't count myself as an entrepreneur (even though I work for myself) because I'm taking no risk - if work dries up, I'll get a job.

laptopdancer · 09/10/2011 19:28

I work at least twice the number of hours Im paid for...sucks really

Xenia · 09/10/2011 19:50

Yes, a lot of women are not as good as men at that - being present in the office and blowing their own trumpet. Sometimes you need to spend a lot of time telling others how good you are and getting credit and it can be as important to do that as to put your head down and silently work which will not always be noticed. There is definitely scope for more advice to university students or indeed our own children about these kinds of issues.

bugster · 09/10/2011 20:00

xenia can you explain about the relative and absolute poverty. Don't you believe that anyone who is fed and warm can be poor? I'm not sure it's even that easy for the poor to be warm in Britain these days, particularly the aged poor, although I suppose people can be fed. I don't say that everyone should be the same, not by any means, but I would like for all honest working people to have a reasonable standard of living. In Britain there are a lot of very poor people, and it is a problem for the whole of society - in terms of crime, people not contributing much tax money to the economy and costing a lot in terms of benefits, the effect on standards in state schools, etc.

blueberties I don't think state schools need to do something to emulate private schools to improve, although having the money to provide smaller classes, better facilities and ditching all the bureaucracy, central government control etc would certainly help. State schools would be greatly improved if all went to them, rather than just those whose parents were unable to scrape together the money to go private.

laptopdancer · 09/10/2011 20:02

Sorry xenia that would make no difference in my workplace...you get paid what you get paid, trumpet or not

WilsonFrickett · 09/10/2011 20:26

laptop obviously you know a lot more about about your own place of employment than I do Grin but trumpet-blowing is absolutely vital and women are (generally) a bit crap at it. I am exceptionally good at it and it got me a bonus and two promotions at my last job, and is how I overcame the presenteeism issue as a part-time worker who had to leave at 430 on the dot to do pick up. Even if it doesn't directly affect your pay, making sure the people who matter know about your own personal contribution has a direct affect on promotion, the type of work you are offered and your reputation / way people think about you.

laptopdancer · 09/10/2011 20:31

They are aware All of us work well and truly beyond working requirements. It makes not a jot to anyone. There is no promotion (for any of us), thats it in this job. The extra work is done at home. I am paid on my hours, thats it.
Would love to go freelance ...

Blueberties · 09/10/2011 21:15

*I don't think state schools need to do something to emulate private schools to improve, although having the money to provide smaller classes, better facilities and ditching all the bureaucracy, central government control etc would certainly help."

They've had billions thrown at them. It's not the money - it's the educational philosophies and methodologies. And ideologies come to that.

Xenia · 09/10/2011 21:17

They did a study of an MBA year. Every man got a job when he finished at higher pay than the women. When they interviewed them all the women had simply felt grateful to be given a job and the men thought they were the bee's knees and asked for more pay than offered.

Of course loads of jobs have no career progression at all so a lot of this stuff is irrelevant but even if you are shifting pallets for a job you could plan your own pallet company having learned a lot about the industry through the shifting job.

laptopdancer · 09/10/2011 21:18

I get paid more than the men on staff in my workplace--I am next down to my boss . She is a woman.

Peachy · 09/10/2011 21:31

You don't know much about the mess the haulage companies are in then Xenia! Here they merged to survive. Hence many redundancies.

But as more genral advice of course: it what we aare doing. But that's not for everyone- there are finite opportunities and huge difficulties getting financed atm

laptopdancer · 09/10/2011 21:34

Thinking about it, I find the assumption that I am "quiet" and I that I must earn less because I am a woman and any mention that I must be a certain way because obviously "men do it better" slightly disturbing given your loud feminist claims. Hmm

soverylucky · 09/10/2011 21:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NotDavidTennant · 09/10/2011 21:48

Blueberties: The National Curriculum was introduced by the Conseravatives in 1988. Much as I dislike New Labour, I'm not sure why they take the blame for everything that happened more than five minutes ago.

littleacceb · 09/10/2011 21:49

(remaining OT)

soverylucky Class size definitely seems to be the main factor! Another thing that is encouraging us to consider the "scrape together" is the availability of excellent facilities for extra-curricular activities - they certainly help when building a CV.

One thing I'd really like to hear your opinion on is discipline. At private school, we got a lot of "your parents aren't paying for you to ..." Lunchtime and Saturday afternoon detentions were doled out regularly, and if you were really bad, you had a card that you had to have signed by a teacher every 20 minutes. I was always quite scared of getting into trouble. Is the approach at state school any different? Obv the Saturday detention part, but otherwise?

Blueberties · 09/10/2011 21:50

Soverylucky: I have experience of many different schools, private and state funded, NC and no NC. My children have attended one of the most expensive schools in Europe with a highly professional, two parent family largely British demographic. It was based entirely on the NC and its results should have been exceptional.

They were mediocre at best. They prided themselves on being above the British average. Not really something to be proud of with that background.

They've also attended a private school with a large number of language speakers and nationalities, British trained teachers and no NC - but a focus on high quality literacy and numeracy education. The results were impressive.

Blueberties · 09/10/2011 21:54

So that's what informs my opinion, I don't deny your experience is also to be respected.

Yes I think discipline and expectations have a lot to do with it, as well as not having to focus on the NC.

moondog · 09/10/2011 22:19

Missed thig gem Blue

'The quality of teaching should be high enough and the quality of teachers should be such that there's no need for parental involvement at all.'

Dead right. It's odious to try and emotionally blackmail people into keeping their kids in school to ensure they maintain standards for other people's kids.

I fai lto understand why we can't claim back our taxes when we have gone private for education and healthcare. As I see it, it frees up thse resources for others.

Peachy · 09/10/2011 22:59

Presumably moondog for the not insignificant numbers of people I know who are now dipping back in becuase they can't afford it any more? They can't build a hospital at a month's notice as you inded know very well, the resource is required regardless.

moondog · 09/10/2011 23:24

Not with you Peach.Dipping back into what?
Why also the tal kof hospitals?

Peachy · 09/10/2011 23:27

You said healthcare in your post! that's why I said hospitals.

Dipping back into the state system. KLnow quite a few people who have had to withdraw from either / or private schooling and health schemes in last few years.

moondog · 09/10/2011 23:43

Sorry. With you now.