to find some people attitudes, such as "i work hard i deserve it" really sickening

[carriedababi]

was reading some magazine in the dentist, there was a woman from dragons den iin the mag.
saying how she had a wardrode worth 3 million.

and she went onto say well i work hard for it.
so ideserve it.
and something todo with she sees her expensive clothes as a symbol of how sucessful she is.

really made me feel sick, how a horrible nasty attitude to have in life.

i'm sure even if i was a millionaire, i would not be proud about spending that much on clothes.

i don't know its just the arrogant im entitled to this that got me.
and dont they think people how have less also work hard. probably alot of them work alot harder

what do you think

aww, fuck. I think I just agreed with Xenia

[baffled]

Providing you are living your life the way you want to why do you give a fuck how other people live theirs?
I couldn't give a rat's arse if you work or not. I'm baffled why you do.

we have the stereotypical dad-work-mum-home situation here, as do a lot of my friends. The mothers who work work in schools/childminding etc, and the fathers are the main earners

I live in That London, we're all relatively enlightened, but it still looks a bit like 1950 from a certain angle

We're all (mostly) happy with that- but I do often wonder why it's not the other way round. Ever.

Because men can't get pregnant and breastfeed.

I think outward symbols are pretty important to a lot of women too - as in HD's clothes. Maybe unlike her, though, a lot would rather just get those things through their husband than become an entrepreneur/ highly paid executive themselves. Not necessarily meaning they are lazy, just they have a differwnr kind of personality.

What do you do for a living, bugster?

£3m on her wardrobe What percentage of her wealth/income does that amount to tho? If we all were to calculate our income and take the percentage of what is spent on our wardrobes, what would be the comparison? Might be surprised. It's only because she earns so much that it looks so shocking written down. I also think journalists are to blame too, why make such a big thing about it?

Spending huge amounts on a childs wardrobe is madness on the other hand. Unless of course you allow them to play in the dirt like all the rest of them

Might get flamed for this, but, I get p'd off at people who don't work, but, prefer to live off the state, get everything handed to them on a plate, work on the fly without paying taxes. Holidays abroad, designer clothes, all the latest gadgets, but, tell me they are jealous if I treat myself.

No extravagance here. Work bloody hard, am fortunate enough to be able to save a bit and now and again I like to treat myself. I think i'm entitled to. Oh, and when I say save a bit, I do mean a bit. No millions here, in fact no thousands here either, but, it's mine.

Let me just add that the people i'm refering to are capable of working (they do it on the fly so......), but prefer not to.

On the other hand people who live off benefits due to illness, being carers etc, or who are unable to find work I don't begrudge them a penny.

Think i'm gonna hide now

We live abroad, came for myhusband's career 9 years ago, so i am a bit limited as to what I can do, also by school schedules here assuming mothers are permanently at home. I teach English to adults but only 7 hours per week at the moment. I wouldn't really say it's what I do for a living though, we live more from DH's salary.

The people who can spend megabucks on clothes also help nurture the telents of the new designers and really creative people so that their designs can filter down to the mainstream. I know a couture miliner who creates teh most acheingly beautiful hats, but it takes many many hours to make them, lots of hard work and sometimes getting on for miles of twisted bits of rafia stuff. They start at about £800, but she does design for mainstream brands too, so if no one bought her couture stuff she could not contribute to the wider fashion scene.

I think all the high earning women i know also have a high earning husband and I am struggling to remember anyone I know who has a husband that has stayed at home. Dh and I both work, both earn well and both muck in at home.

I have no problem saying that I like looking after dh - and that includes cooking for us and making sure he has clean clothes for work. It doesn't make me less of a feminist, it doesn't make me less successful in the office but it does mean that dh appreciates me for doing those things, just like I appreciate the things he does in the house and for me.

I don't think our relationship would would work if one of us was trying to be top dog or there was a status thing for either of us. We both play to our strengths - I cook, he washes up. He tidies up, I hoover. I organise for the wheelie bin man to come and clean and disenfect the bins, he puts the bins out. I am the one who "manages" the nanny, cleaners, gardeners etc and he sorts out our finances. Sometimes if one of us is under the cosh the other takes on more. This works for us but am well aware that there is more than one way to have a good relationship so I wouldn't try and say that our way is the only way.

I would not describe myself as high earning ( in the region of £40K) but I am the wage earner - dp works part time from home. There is no sense that anyone is top dog but we have clear roles. I know that dp enjoys looking after me and I enjoy getting the chance to do the same during the holidays.

I wish I could say that £40k isn't a high salary, but that's more than double what I've ever been on. Feel slightly envious and embarrassed to feel envious.

"The people who can spend megabucks on clothes also help nurture the telents of the new designers"

"The people who can spend megabucks on clothes also help nurture the telents of the new designers "

and the millions of people who each spend small amounts on windowcleaners, plumbers, childminders, dry-cleaners, newsagents etc

Are they not contributing to the economy?

Is there some reason why you speak of money spent by the rich as if it is more praiseworthy than money spent by the poor?

It was millions of poor, unemployed and benefit claimants, remember, who provided the money to rebuild the National Opera House, and will be contributing a lot to the London Olympics.

Everyone contributes to the economy to some degree.

I think one point being made, by some, is that it's better that the mega rich spend chunks of their cash rather than sitting on all of it. They also generally spend it on different things to those with less money. People on benefits are unlikely to employ a cleaner/gardener etc, but they'll still buy food, newspapers so contributing to the shops staff wages.

Surprise I meant in comparison to Xenia and Lequeen.

Having said that I earn a fraction of most of the people I graduated with.

It's that way round because p eople have sexist upbringings with housewife mothers at home and tolerate sexism in their marriages. Nothing to stop any woman having maternity leave and going back to earn £500k a year or whatever but time and again women decide to play second fiddle. The result does matter. The result is that it can be harder for men to stay at home and harder for women to convince men they might go back to their well paid job. It means that women on the planet own 1% of property and earn 10% of income and is why men h ave most pwer in just about all organisations. It matters very very much.

The thing is xenia here on MN the women are largely educated and MC. They are frequently married to educated well paid men. If such women choose to give up work the effects are different than they are for many women.

The risks for them are minimised.

However, you are right of course about the reality for many many women, who find themselves on the breadline following divorce/separation/the death or long term lillness of their partner. And they have no career and recent experience on which to fall back on.
The very best thing these women could have done woudl have been to get an education and a career. No doubt about it.

You do talk a whole lot of Tommy rot, Xenia.

My mother wasn't a housewife, she earned more than my father. My husband is as feminist as a man can be, far from sexist.

This idea you have, that anyone can just walk into a £500k a year job is offensive at best and utterly deluded at worst. If it were that easy, do you think millions of people would be scraping by in life? Do you?
I live with a husband who earns six figures. I know exactly what that entails and how difficult it is. I value my social life, my children and my sanity too much to chase it.
Brilliant that women like you don;lt, but FFS, deal with the fact that most of us don't because we value other things above the pursuit of money at the expense of other parts of our lives. Many men don't. I actually think that this makes women pretty strong, it's very sad you see it as a weakness.

But Milicent I think it is worth asking ourselves the question why in most couples it always seems to be the woman who gives up her career and women with oodles of qualifications and skills and talents at that.

I think it's far too simplistic to say oh women are the nurturers. Or oh they don't want to do it.

The reality is that in the law, Xenia's field. More than half of all law graduates are women. When training contracts and pupilages are handed out more than half go to women...yet at senior level both in private practuise and the bar, the numbers shrink to a pityful level.

These are women who wanted to be lawyers. They went throught the pain and hard graft. They didn't just decide it was all a load of crapolla overnight. Surely?

@ Xenia
women on the planet own 1% of property and earn 10% of income

what an awful stat - and getting worse. As a secondary teacher, I detest the current obsession with White British Boys' Underachievement - at the expense of White British Girls' Underachievement. Why are boys still so blantantly considered more important than girls?

We heard of two of our Year 11 girls of last year who broke their pregnancy news on FB this week - both admitted it had taken them ages of trying too .

I'm very glad that my twin girls aged 23 are thoroughly independent and getting on with their Social Work careers. In no way will they ever be dependent on a man, even though their father has been a great provider and a wonderful Dad.

One reason I've always grafted, since they were three, was to show them that you CAN and SHOULD take your place in the world, as far as possible. I know that my example has had a positive effect on them and I'm very proud of that, it wasn't always easy as we have no extended family, and my son had leukaemia followed by Type 1 diabetes, but now I'm 47 I'm so proud of everything we have all achieved, and grateful to DH who, despite having had a lovely SAHM, has never been anything other than selflessly supportive to all of us ...