to find some people attitudes, such as "i work hard i deserve it" really sickening

[carriedababi]

was reading some magazine in the dentist, there was a woman from dragons den iin the mag.
saying how she had a wardrode worth 3 million.

and she went onto say well i work hard for it.
so ideserve it.
and something todo with she sees her expensive clothes as a symbol of how sucessful she is.

really made me feel sick, how a horrible nasty attitude to have in life.

i'm sure even if i was a millionaire, i would not be proud about spending that much on clothes.

i don't know its just the arrogant im entitled to this that got me.
and dont they think people how have less also work hard. probably alot of them work alot harder

what do you think

Riven - which is why she is single!

apologies for not reading all 20 pages but to straight answer the OP if someone works hard for their own money they can spend it how they wish!!! not sure why that is sickening to you unless jealousy is involved.

whats sickening is someone spenind beyond their means to keep up with the jones.

Having married into money in the past and observed how they lived I would say it is equally luck and hard work. Yes they worked very hard but certainly not as hard as people who act as carers. The risk taking I think is also important. They also bullied, lied and conned their way to the top, I am smart enough to realise that there are many different types of entrepreneurs.

My experience of being around money does make me shudder with horror at excessive spending, they often used to trot out the line that we deserve it so we can have it.

I now have a comfortable life on a middle income and again I would say that is half luck and half hard work. I was lucky to be born with brain, "lucky" to be born into a shit background that motivated me to work hard, lucky that no one better ever applied for my jobs at the same time as me and lucky to have met someone second time round that is happy to be less career focused so I can work longer hours. Yes I work hard, but luck has allowed that to pay off.

I certainly do not want my dd to aspire to be someone who never sees her family or makes calls at 3am ( although I have worked at 3am myself). Although I also would not want her to follow my career either.

I thought you meant a wardrobe that cost 3 million. I was trying to workout what that would be like!

philbee

20 pages on a 3 million quid wardrobe?? stangers things have happened here before i guess

I wonder if they sell them at Homebase?

I like a lot of what Xenia says but she does get slightly rabid on the subject of women never subjugating themselves (as she sees it) to men.
A family is a small business and peopel need clearly designated roles and responsibilities. If one person really wants to give their all to theri career, that means the other either focusses on the home and the family, or outsources the work.

A lot of peopel (men and women) don't want to outsource the work and take either pride and/or responsibility in making a nice home, cooking, looking after thierk ids, being in charge of domestic issues and so on.
What's the issue there if everyone is happy?

My husband works abroad and that is only possible because I stay at home and hold the domestic fort (I also work f/t but that is my choice and I can cope.) In a few years, he will come home and I will be the one working away.

We're a partnership. He couldn't do what he does without me and vice versa.

What annoys me slightly about the quotes in the OP (Not having read the entire thread) is that one could infer that the woman was suggesting other people didn't have her wealth because they didn't work as hard as she did - which is generally bollocks.

Lots of women and men work their arses off for peanuts - not because they necessarily want to but because that is the way of the world - not everyone can be in a top-dollar job or the world would fall apart.

Good for her being able to afford what she has - but it's not just because she worked hard - it's a combination of hard work and heaps of LUCK.

Agree with Moondog as usual

Anyway I do like a bit of subjugation occasionally

Yes, I hate all of this sour 'I never iron his shirt' stuff you read on here so often.
You know what?
I love to iron my husband's shirt. I like him to go out looking loved and cared for. that's not an act of subjugation ,it's a demonstartion of how precious he is to me.

By the same token he willingly fills out all the insanel dulls forms I hate, looks after all our finances, does all the DIY and so on and so on. We don't keep tallies of who has done what.

He pisses me off frequently as I do him and I would be lying if I said resentment does not bubble occasionally (like now, when I know he is in the Tropics, watching and celebrating after the rugby whilst I am here with a pile of laundry, floors to mop, homework to supervise and a millino and one dreary chores.)

But as a grown up, I deal with it.

moondog, what are you doing in my marriage?

yes on mn people take perverse pleasure in asserting how little they collaboratively do for their dp.proudly boasting they never do fuck all for a man.as if it is symbolic of emancipation that they never iron or cook

i make my lunch each night and if dp wants a sandwich/lunch i will make his too.it makes sense. he irons his work shirts for week on a Sunday and does my stuff too as iron is on and at hand. neither of us is oppressed or subjugated by sandwich or iron

I had a collaborative marriage for nearly 20 years. I am certanily not against people supporting each other. However when time after time it is the woman ditching the good career to look after the husband and the women hardly every earning much whilst the husband does I would say that is 90% women sacrificing for men and not vice versa. If LeQ can say in 10 years her husband will be at home scrubbing the floors and she will be on £200k because by then it is her turn I would be more than happy but it won't be that. WOman works at fairly low paid job to aid man whilst he builds up business. Man then has status and income of business for 30 y ears whilst woman is supportive at home. All very very sexist.

(Complement not compliment althouiggh you probably also do give each other compliments too).

It's not about you though, Xenia. It's about what makes others happy. And you are now divorced so your marriage model clearly ain't up to much.

My happily married in laws inadvertently gave us some advice before we got married, they said that they make sure that everyday they do something nice for each other. Just little things are so appreciated and not taken for granted.

This thread illustrates though why the lady the thread is about (and perhaps I) are rare and 4 in 5 women earn less than their husbands or nothing and women will never get very far. There are all these supportive things being done for each other but 80% of the time woman gives up chance of good career for man. We never get a thread where 80% of the women earn 10x their husband and 80% of the husbands are at home being supportive with irons.

Has it ever, for one tiny millisecond, occurred to you Xenia that the women who choose to give up work do so because they want to. They do so because they don;t want the six figure salary and all that it entails.

That, in essence, they are happy. And you just can'T or won't^ see that, will you? The thought of having a working life like my DH's or yours, in fact,is utterly horrendous to me.