to find some people attitudes, such as "i work hard i deserve it" really sickening

[carriedababi]

was reading some magazine in the dentist, there was a woman from dragons den iin the mag.
saying how she had a wardrode worth 3 million.

and she went onto say well i work hard for it.
so ideserve it.
and something todo with she sees her expensive clothes as a symbol of how sucessful she is.

really made me feel sick, how a horrible nasty attitude to have in life.

i'm sure even if i was a millionaire, i would not be proud about spending that much on clothes.

i don't know its just the arrogant im entitled to this that got me.
and dont they think people how have less also work hard. probably alot of them work alot harder

what do you think

Agree with wordfactory, lequeen and tilly amongst others. I can't imagine getting so worked up and vitriolic over how other spend their legally gained money. Being on here has made me realise that it would be wrong to say that luck had nothing to do with my success but equally I note that others like to overplay the impact of luck.

Hmm. I think luck plays an enormous part.

I work in the City, and most of the people here were very lucky in two ways (1) they were born clever and (2) they had (generally) interested, loving parents. Sure, they also work hard, but they could never have got here in the first place had they not had (1) and (2). So I'd say for them it's about 80% luck and about 20% working hard.

I think that you are employing a slightly different definition of luck there minipie to what is usually intended.

I see your point mini but if you look at HD, and most of the other dragons I think, they don't have a lot of education or necessarily supportive parents, which is not uncommon. Whereas the City, there's still a certain level of 'old boys networks' and its not quite entrepreuneralism (sp??) if you are using other people's money.

Personally, I am an enormously lucky person and feel I have been blessed in my life. But I've worked my bahooky off for everything that I have ever acheived (didn't have point 2 of mini's equation ). And the reason that I'm not a millionaire is because - like LeQueen's book - I'm not ready for that level of committment and risk-taking, as my business is playing second fiddle to my DS needs. But it won't always be that way, and then watch out Xenia cos I'm coming for your island

I agree minipie, though truly exceptional people can get by without the family background to propel them. It helps massively though. And there are different sorts of clever. I think temperament plays a huge part too.

A lot of it is about how you are trained early on to make life choices. There are clearly some choices you can make early on, even if you don't enjoy them or value them at the time, which are of much more value later on in life. (eg slogging through a-levels, doing a degree even if it costs you, taking a low-paid trainee position although you think you could do the manager's job)

Really? But she looks terrible

Blimey.

You can't buy taste nor breeding is all I have to say on the matter.

It's not just down to effort though and hard work or even lady luck, circumstance and choice plays a lot of the part in how 'successful' you become, but then again everyone judges success differently. It's what makes us all different.

My dh often quotes that the harder he works the tireder he gets :o

pomme, Wilson you're right, City types do tend to have a particularly privileged sort of background (not because of old boys network so much as being very conservative about who they hire, eg only Russell Group/Oxbridge) ... which is probably not the case among other successful people eg entrepreneurs.

Although, many entrepreneurs do have some sort of financial safety net (well off parents, inheritance, working spouse) before they start their business. For example people point out Branson didn't get A levels, but they fail to mention that his first business was bankrolled by his dad. It's a lot harder to start a business and take a risk if you don't have that safety net/starting leg up. So there is some element of luck there for many entrepreneurs - though not all I know.

Still, though, there is the intelligence point... I think some people forget that they were lucky in being born clever, it's not something they can take credit for.

Really poor show to bring 'breeding' into it, as though being 'bred into money' makes you any better

YANBU.

I am self-employed, work on average 40 - 70 hours a week and had to go through 7 years education and training to qualify.

I have to take risks, bid for work against often very hard competition (and try to stay sane) as well as being a mum to DD. I'm not the best mum in the world but I do my very best to balance.

I am just starting to experience a taste of the fruits of all the hard work but I would never act as the woman in the OP's tale. I don't know who she is and I accept that she was probably answering some loaded questions but it still sounds for all the world like obnoxious bragging.

proon I agree completely about being trained as a child/teen to make long term life choices rather than short term. I think this is down to what sort of parents you had - which again is down to luck.

at RogerMelly

She did state in one interview she now regrets the choice of the white jacket!

You are right minipie on intelligence though. People think lucky with looks more than intelligence. There is however still room for congratulating people on using their intelligence to further themselves rather than just resting on their laurels.

I think you are right in that there is always a point of someone believing for many people. My dad has his own successful business (obv not Branson stylee but results ina lovely lifestyle for him and dm) and my dh is a successful man. Both had no financial support from parents or parents that would have known how to help them education wise. However both had primary school teachers that put them forward for scholarship exams at great private schools.

actually - many people who are successful have some tragedy early in their life. Cannot remember the name for it but Evan Davies did a Radio 4 program about it.

No, but you can be brought up to appreciate other people which is what I meant. :)

TheRealTillyMinto - There's also a high proportion of millionaires who are dyslexic - dh works for one actually. I always think it must be from devising ways around apparently insurmontable problems from a very early age.

I agree minipie.

And it's going to be different for each person: some rebel against a bad background and find great success. Some learn from steady, involved parents (needn't be rich) and replicate good choices. Some are simply propelled forwards within a small pool of similar people and cannot fail eg the Eton/Oxford/job in family friend's company route. (Personally I don't see that last one as the same as succeeding.)

TheRealTillyMinto, Janet Baker was on Womans Hour the other day and she said she felt that the fact her brother had died when she was 10 had played a huge part in how successful she became because saw the grief it caused her parents (forever) and she wanted them to be proud of her so she always strived to 'be best'. It was a very moving interview.

My sister died though and I seem to be making quite a hash of my life but I will blame mine on circumstance (I am a Carer so i have an excuse )

whomovedmychocolate, fair enough.

leQueen and milicent it's cute how both hero worship your husbands. Hope they always live up to your expectations.

I seem to have upset people by sying entrepreneurs aren't my favourite role models for my children. Some could be, but not the conspicuously consuming ones for sure. Actually i just don't want my children to have to give their life to a company at the expense of their personal life. Also not keen on all this resilience, risk taking, work your butt off stuff. I just find it a bit inhuman. I appreciate some people have to be like that, but it's not what I want for my daughters.

Bugster do you really not want to encourage resilience and risk taking in your DC? Really?

Cos I'd have thought that they were prime attributes for success in any field, not just commerce.

It's ok to admire the person that you actively chose to live with
I really admire dh (not an entrepreneur though).
I do realise that people glaze over if I say why, though.

Oh I think Bugster was simply having a silly little dig. I think it's fantastic if partners recognise and really seriously admire certain qualities in their DH.